Idea Tome
by Isilithix
Summary: A place for ideas to go when my head is too full to file them away. Please, feel free to come and take a look, maybe get an idea for your own virtual story book.
1. The Downside of Power

Idea Tome

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This is just a collection of challenge ideas, usually just one chapter long. This is will not be updated regularly seeing as it's really just a basin for ideas. You _may_ take the ideas you find here if it tickles your mind; but just note that others may also do the same thing, including me later on down the road. The only thing I ask is that if you get an idea from this tome of ideas, then please say so…

I don't own Naruto, if I did…

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The Downside of Power

Sarutobi Hiruzen sighed as his favorite blonde haired person shoved a paper in his face. He closed his eyes and barely refrained from pinching the bridge of his nose in frustration. Opening his old, tired eyes; the Sandaime Hokage looked at the paper. He couldn't help but smile…Inwardly. Outwardly, he frowned.

On the other side of the paper was Uzumaki Naruto, Jinchuuriki of the Kyuubi no Kitsune, a broad smile painted on his face; his own ocean blue eyes closed as he held the paper in his face.

"Naruto-Kun," Hiruzen began calmly; "why are you here? It's not Tuesday." The blonde didn't move as he opened his mouth.

"I drew you a picture, Jiji!" he gleefully explained. "I wanted to show you!"

"I can see that you drew a picture, Naruto-Kun." Hiruzen stated. "But it's Saturday, and Saturdays are one of the busiest days of my work week. Tuesdays are the days we spend together."

"But I wanted to show you today…" the blonde whined, his smile disappearing slightly, cracking his eyes open slightly, pouting. "…You don't like it?" Hiruzen sighed and shook his head.

"I like it, Naruto-Kun…I always like the pictures you draw for me." The blonde's face perked up, a happy, embarrassed blush quickly highlighting his cheeks. "But Saturdays are work days. Tuesdays are the day that we get to play, remember?" The blonde pouted again but nodded slowly. "Where's Ebisu?"

"…I don't know…" The blonde said with a pause. Hiruzen sighed again.

"What did you do to him today, Naruto?" Naruto flinched slightly. He knew that when Hiruzen used his name without a suffix, he wasn't joking or playing around. Just as Naruto began to open his mouth and explain what had happened to his guardian, the doors to his office flew opened violently and the man in question stomped towards them.

"Hokage-Sama!" The man growled as he marched. "Tha-Tha-That _THING,_ owes me a new pair of sunglasses!" his right hand stretched out at Naruto, index finger pointed directly at his tanned, whiskered face.

"What happened now, Ebisu?" Hiruzen deadpanned. The younger man took a deep breath before answering the question.

"Naruto wanted to go outside to play today…" he began; "as we were heading towards the park so he could swing on the swings, we passed a small family owned shop. In the window was a large pack of crayons…180 to be precise." Hiruzen nodded, casting a glance at the tanned skinned blonde who was puckering his lips and looking off to the left, blatantly thinking up some sort of lie no doubt. He turned his attention back to the rambling man who was supposed to be watching the blonde. "He asked if we could go and buy them; and when I said no, he started to throw a fit. I told him that if he continued to act like a six year old, that we wouldn't go for ramen for lunch. As we continued towards the park, I noticed something was off."

"He made a clone, left it with you and stole the crayons…Correct?" Hiruzen asked. Ebisu nodded dumbly. "I'm guessing that you chased after him and he got away…" he pointed at the picture in Naruto's hands and Ebisu blushed brightly, thoroughly embarrassed. "So, tell me something, Ebisu…" the normally shaded man blinked at Hiruzen before gulping. "What happened to your sunglasses?"

"…" the man took several moments to calm down before beginning again. He looked down at the floor and muttered something.

"I'm sorry, I couldn't hear that." Hiruzen stated calmly. The younger man looked up and glared at the tanned blonde who was still thinking about some sort of lie to tell him.

"…He…He dropped them in a backed up toilet…" Out of the corner of his eyes, Hiruzen could clearly see the blonde to his left scrunch his face up as he snickered.

"…Fine." Hiruzen stated tiredly. "Put it on my tab…" Ebisu looked at Hiruzen stunned.

"Any pair?" he asked. Hiruzen narrowed his eyes.

"If I find out that you bought the most expensive pair you can find, I personally will drop them into a backed up toilet and then force you to wear them. Got it?" the younger man nodded quickly. "You can leave, Ebisu."

"B-But what about him?" the Tokubetsu Jounin asked dumbly, pointing at Naruto. The aged Hokage leaned forward onto his desk and pushed the 'Talk' button on his intercom.

"_Yes, Hokage-Sama?"_ came the voice of the secretary downstairs.

"Have someone go and collect Inuzuka Hana for me." Hiruzen ordered.

"_As you wish, Hokage-Sama."_ the secretary replied before ending the conversation with a mechanical beep.

"Take the next couple of days off, Ebisu." Hiruzen commanded. "Hana will be able to entertain Naruto. You just worry about coming up with new games to play with Naruto…and new routes to get to the park." The younger man blushed heavily, but nodded and bowed respectfully. "You are dismissed, Ebisu." The younger man bowed even deeper before standing up and racing out of Hiruzen's office. Turning to face the grinning blonde, he sighed yet again. "What am I going to do with you, Naruto-Kun?"

"Missions!" the blonde chirped happily.

"No." Hiruzen replied immediately, causing the blonde to sulk, his lower lip quivering. "Why did you drop Ebisu's sunglasses into a toilet?"

"'Cause," the blonde began, still sulking; "he was being mean…" Hiruzen dropped his head and shook it tiredly.

"I need to retire." He said softly.

"Ooh! OOH!" Naruto shouted, jumping up and down, raising his hand excitedly. "Can I be Hokage?"

"No."

"What? Why not?" the blonde demanded.

"Because, Naruto; a Hokage needs to be someone strong-"

"But I am strong!" the blonde interrupted.

"The Hokage also needs to be able to lead the village in times of hardships."

"I can do that!" Naruto declared.

"And, the Hokage can't be insane."

"I'm not insane!" the blonde shouted. "I'm just crazy!" Hiruzen rolled his eyes.

"Being crazy, Naruto, is the exact same thing as being insane." Hiruzen stated. Naruto looked offended.

"Who the hell said I was crazy?" the blonde asked angrily. Again, Hiruzen rolled his eyes. He was about to open his mouth, when the door to his office opened, and Team 8 entered the room.

"Good afternoon, Hokage-Sama." Yuuhi Kurenai greeted as she and her team bowed to the elderly leader respectfully. "We've come to see if there are any more D-Ranked missions available." She and her students stood up straight and waited for the response. Or, would have, had Naruto not jumped over and squatted down in front of Kiba and glared directly into his eyes.

"…So…" he began, his tone low and threatening. "You're the one who's been going around town and telling everyone I'm crazy…"

"What?" Kiba asked, easily intimidated by Naruto. Naruto's hand snaked out and grabbed the puppy on top of his head and then stood up to his full height of 5'8" and glared directly into the puppy's eyes. "Hey! What are you doing to Akamaru!"

"…I'm going to kill you…Slowly…And epically!" He dropped the puppy before jumping back from the Genin team and their sensei and struck an overly dramatic Kung-Fu pose. Kiba, having already been in motion to save his partner from the insane wack-a-doo; caught his puppy and held him close to his chest. "Wu-AAA!"

"Sensei!" Kiba screeched as Naruto leapt forward, bracing himself for impact...

"Hello Naruto-Kun."

…And then opened his eyes once as soon as the new voice filled the room. "Nee-San?" The wild boy didn't see the insane blonde lunging at him anymore. Turning around, he found his older sister gently patting the head of the scary insane blonde man as she would to a puppy who wanted to play. "Nani?"

"Hana-Chan!" Naruto barked out. "Hana-Chan! You're here! Let's play!"

"Okay! Okay!" the brown haired teenager agreed. "But first, what's this I hear about you being mean to Ebisu-San?"

"…He was being mean…" The blonde man replied.

"How so?" Hana asked.

"He wouldn't let me buy any crayons…" Hana stared at him, as did Kurenai and her team, all wondering just how insane the blonde man really was. "So, I stole them!"

"That's not nice, Naruto!" Hana scolded the blonde, who instantly dropped to the floor and hid his head under his arms, making whimpering sounds and shook with fear. "Not to mention illegal!"

"…" the blonde shook even harder. Hana sighed.

"I can't hear you…" the blonde took his left arm off of his head and repeated his earlier comment. "…Well then, that's where we're going first. Come on…" She waited for the blonde lump to move, but when he didn't, she sighed. "Then we can go get some ramen…" in an instant, the blonde was up and on his feet, drooling as he smiled.

"Can I-" he began, but Hana cut him off.

"No, Naruto-Kun; you cannot put any candy in your ramen…" the blonde slumped as the rest of the room's occupants struggled not to puke.

"…Fine…" with that, Hana led the blonde out of the room. Turning back, she looked at the Hokage and rolled her eyes at him, earning a return eye roll from the elderly man. As soon as the door was shut, Kurenai turned to look at her commander and opened her mouth.

"Who the hell was that psycho?" Kiba asked for her.

"That," Hiruzen began slowly; "was the strongest shinobi in our village…"

"…What are you smoking and where can I find some?" Kiba asked, shocking his team. "That guy is the strongest person in the village?" Hiruzen nodded. "What the hell? That guy's insane!"

"I think he knows that, Kiba-San." Shino replied as he pushed his sunglasses up his nose.

"That," Hiruzen began, standing up and facing the window behind his chair. "…is what happens when you survive some of the worst genjutsu known to shinobi kind back to back." He turned to look at Kurenai and continued. "Your sensei has more than likely told you about the hazards about genjutsu. Genjutsu can not only trick you, but hurt you-even kill you." He nodded towards the door. "Naruto was once one of this village's best operatives; right beside Uchiha Itachi; in fact, even stronger than Itachi…But; during a mission, he was captured by a group of S-Ranked nin from several small villages and tortured day and night for nearly a week. The mind can only handle so much before it breaks down."

"I-Is he s-safe to be around?" Hinata asked, her face full of fear. Hiruzen looked at her and sighed.

"Most of the time, yes…" He turned back towards the window and took a deep, calming breath. "…But there are times he gets out of control, or even reverts back to the way he was when he was in Anbu."

"…Why my Nee-Chan?" Kiba asked.

"Because," Hiruzen began, looking at the wild boy before continuing; "he listens to her."

"I saw that, Hokage-Sama." Kiba commented snappishly. "But why?" the elderly Hokage just shrugged his shoulders.

"I don't know." He replied. "I just wish he listened to me and his other minders like he listened to her though. It would certainly be a lot easier to make it through the week without him demanding for a mission left and right…Or stealing and ruining other people's things." He went back to his desk and pulled out a familiar looking scroll and tossed it at Kurenai. "Have fun."

"…That damn cat…"

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This is the first idea…I may pick it up again later, I may not. If you want to try it, or something similar, then feel free. Like I stated at the top, just say something about the Idea Tome and then drop me a line saying which one you're going to try. I'd like to read it.

Naruto in this story has been tortured, badly. He's seventeen years old, the strongest person in the village and makes Tobi look like a Harvard graduate. He's so messed up due to his past experiences, that he just does things. He knows wrong from right, but unlike in Canon! he doesn't really care. He can still be very serious and very scary. He can punch a hole the size of his index finger through a building the size of the Hokage Tower, burning through metal and rock with ease…but just tends to forget that he can, and instead, usually ends up beating people up.

He was teamed up with Itachi during a lot of his Anbu missions and therefore, has a kinship with the stoic assassin. He was outside of the village being tortured at the same time Itachi was killing his clan. He thinks that Itachi is on vacation, since no one has the heart(balls) to tell him that one of his only friends 'betrayed' the village.

He likes Hana, listens to her(most of the time) and when scolded by her, quivers like a puppy who's been caught doing something wrong. He doesn't like her romantically, not anymore; but did have a crush on her when he was a Genin, seeing as they were in the same class for two years, before Naruto graduated early. The crush ended when he beat her and her team up during the first Chuunin Exam they took and she told him to go and shove whatever he had to say to her up his 'wahoo'. She avoided him like the plague and in turn, he entered Anbu after graduating from Genin to Chuunin.

After he was tortured to insanity, He forgot about the whole ordeal with Hana, and just remembers that he likes her…As a friend…A friend who gives him bacon from time to time(he likes ramen, candy and bacon-er-or rather, he likes candy, bacon and then ramen…in that order.)

This is obviously an AU story/challenge, this 'starts' before the' Go to Nami(Wave) Arc', so here's the ages:

Itachi:18  
Naruto:17  
Hana:17  
Rookie Nine(Eight): 11-13

Akatsuki is still alive in this story, and Itachi is specifically chosen to deal with Naruto, due to their past. How you handle this, is up to you, but it should be a mixture of violence and anger as well as shock(for Naruto.) Trying to trick Naruto into still believing that Itachi is still his friend is probably the best way to go…Though you can twist it around as you want…Within reason(no yaoi, please.)

You can have Naruto kick the living snot out of Madara several times before Madara actually comes looking for him, like he does in Canon!Naruto. Or…Something...

Also, Naruto doesn't have to stay in the village, you have Hiruzen give him D-Rank missions or C-Rank missions from time to time…Or, he can remain in the village and freak the crap out of people arriving for the Chuunin Exams…It's up to you now…

I'm not trying to make fun of anyone out there(my Grandma is slowly losing it so…Yeah…If she ever tought that I was making fun of crazy people, ooh-boy…), but this just won't leave me the hell alone.

Anywho…It's 3:30am, I didn't get to sleep until about 4:40am yesterday, so…Yeah…Night!


	2. Sharingan Versus…Sniper Rifle? 2011 Idea

Idea Tome

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This little snippet is actually more or less a plot bashing snippet. Basically, I'm tired of how Kishimoto has built the Sharingan to be some sort of mega eye that can curve even time if trained and developed long and hard enough…Or, in Sasuke's case, gets a man hickey and runs off to get free power.

Now, the plot bashing comes in when people cross guns in with the Naruto Universe. Sasuke will be standing less than ten feet away from a man with a gun, and even if he doesn't know what the guns does(or how fast it shoots); he still has enough time to either roll his eyes and sigh, flip his hair dramatically and emo-ish, before suddenly disappearing and re-appearing behind the shooter, three seconds after the shooter pulls the trigger; and then kills them, takes the inferior weapon and the proceeds to kill every other ninja around him for shits and giggles…Or would that be 'shits and Hn's'? Either way its bull crap.

Here's the question: How can a person who has never seen or heard of a gun before, even with his super eyes and speed, out match a high powered weapon that throws small metallic blobs of death and destruction at 3 times the speed of sound? Answer is…

Edit: For some reason, my Word Program has been messing up lately. From small words to large ones. I would have caught this error before posting the chapter, if I wasn't so damned tired...Spell Check doesn't want to work properly. Does anyone know how to remedy that?

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Sharingan Versus…Sniper Rifle?

Sasuke looked at the oddly dressed man with the odd thing in his hands. He was lying on the ground, less than ten feet away from him and had one eye closed…Almost as if he was getting ready to shoot an arrow at him. _'…Hn.'_ He told himself as he rolled his beautiful red and black eyes in annoyance. _'No matter what it does, it won't hurt me…'_ No. How could an arrow hurt him? He had gone head to head with the Jinchuuriki of the Kyuubi no Kitsune more than once and survived each encounter…How could anyone hope that an arrow would be able to kill him? Especially at this range? Shaking his head; airing out his oddly styled hair in a manner that would normally send most girls and even boys, swooning at the sight; before looking back at the oddly dressed man with the oddly shaped bow.

"It doesn't matter what you do." He spoke the man. To the man's credit, he didn't show his surprise. "Nothing you throw at me can hurt me…" he fingered his sword, beginning to pull it out of his belt. "…Because I am an avenger…"he yanked the sword from his belt. Again, the man didn't do anything. Sasuke started to move forward. The man moved the barrel, and began to pull his right index finger. Sasuke scoffed and flipped his hair in amusement. "Fool." He began. "I already told you, nothing you do can hu-"

_SPLOOSH!_

Sasuke's head exploded in a shower of blood, bone and brains. Skin flew everywhere. His body began to fall.

_BOOM!_

The sound of the gun filled the air, the deafening sound masking the thud that Sasuke's body made as it collapsed to the earth below it.

Back to where the oddly dressed man was, picking up his sniper rifle and the rest of his equipment; a puzzled look was clearly etched on his face.

"Why the hell didn't that loony move?" he asked himself. "Did he really think that a sword was going to be able to outpace a bullet moving at three times the speed of sound?" With a shrug, the man stood up and ran off. He didn't know how he got separated from his training group, but he was determined to get back.

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This should be a one shot series, each chapter being a different weapon or device, like a grenade; from any universe(meaning crossover extravaganza if you so choose); that all depict either Sasuke or Madara getting completely owned by weapons or devices, like speeding cars being driven by drunkards.

Basically, this is supposed to be a what would happen story where Sasuke and Madara are exactly as they are in the manga/anime: haughty people who think that nothing can kill them; so they don't take things seriously…Until after something shows that if it hit them, it would have killed him.

Here's a question for you before you try this challenge out:

If you were a Caveman/woman, or a man/woman from the medieval period, and were suddenly confronted with something that you had never seen before, had no idea how it worked or what would happen if it hit you; would automatically know how to destroy it or take it for as your own and use it even more effectively than the people/beings who made it? Also, if you were a caveman/woman or man/woman from the medieval era; and you thought that you couldn't be killed, would take anything seriously until it was too late? Honestly, my guess is that you'd get your ass killed or seriously injured…And then die due to complications or wounds…

Anyway, hope you Sharigan-Triumphs-Over-All haters enjoyed this. More will come out later.

Ja Ne!


	3. Lungs of Time

Idea Tome

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Here's another one…

I came up with this idea from a couple of my other ideas. One, is mine and I have been slowly planning it out for quite some time now. The other idea was an idea I was trying to figure out for a long time…Never made it click unfortunately.

This is based off of a DBZ villain. Anyone remember the Ginyu Force? Anyone remember Guldo(English) AKA Gurudo(Japanese)? Remember how by holding his breath, he could temporarily stop time? I do.

Now, this does not mean by any stretch of the imagination, that Naruto's father is Guldo/Gurudo…That'd be really creepy. Not to mention, in the anime, Guldo/Gurudo was 762 years old. Talk about robbing Kushina's cradle; something of which, I am not a fan of.

Anyway, here's the one-shot…

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Lungs of Time

Uzumaki Naruto, 12 year old orphan of Konohagakure and newly minted Genin growled loudly as he struggled against the ropes that held him to the large training post he had been tied to by his new Sensei, Hatake Kakashi.

"Oh sure, sure!" the blonde snarled to himself as he wriggled around. "After all that spiel about not abandoning your teammates, you go and leave me tied to a post! It's not like we don't have any enemies in the world, just waiting for an easy picking!" Pushing his stomach out, Naruto pushed the rope as far out and away from his body as he could before sucking in a lung full of air before holding it.

The world around the blonde drained of its vibrant colors, turning to a dull and lifeless world. The air stilled and the birds flying in the sky halted on a dime. Nothing moved…Well, almost nothing.

For Naruto, however, it was just another of his weird possessions. He had just learned a couple of days ago that he had a demon sealed within his body the day he had been born. When he first found out that he was able to stop time, stopping everyone and every_thing_ around him…He was, however; free to move…But only for as long as he was able to hold his breath.

Using this unique, one of a kind skill; Naruto sucked in his stomach, a dangerous thing to do when holding his breath as it compressed his lungs, making it harder for him to hold his breath; and quickly moved his arms down in front of himself and quickly made a Kage Bunshin. Releasing his breath of used and spent air, and sucking in a new breath; the blonde looked up at the clone. "Cut me free." The clone nodded and quickly took out a kunai and cut the original free.

As soon as the Genin was on the ground, he dispersed his clone. Standing up slowly, the blonde stretched and yawned; feeling completely wiped out after the day's events. Walking towards the village slowly, the blonde dipped his hands into his kunai pouch and dug out his wallet. Opening the green, toad designed wallet, he quickly counted his money. "…Ugh…" he grunted. "…Why can't Ichiraku's do take out?"

00oo00

Naruto woke up the next morning and got around and ready to meet his team for their first mission. However, as he stood started walking down the stairs that led from his apartment to the first floor, there was a strange and foreign pain in his nether regions. "Note to self," he began, rubbing his butt as he walked down the numerous flights of stairs; "get Kakashi-Teme back for molesting me."

Fifteen minutes later, and the pain of Kakashi's stupid and downright disgusting move had ebbed away. Which was a good thing, because just as it left him, his team's designated meeting area came into view. The meeting area was a small bridge, a bridge that crossed over a small stream, and leaning up against it, were his two teammates, Haruno Sakura; a pink haired girl who's brain easily twenty times more valuable than her physical strengths. To her left, was Uchiha Sasuke; a boy slightly older than Naruto was, and from a prominent clan, a clan now all but extinct. He was an asshole, and he didn't do anything to disprove said statement. He was, however, a fun person to make fun of…

As he ventured close to his two teammates, he noticed their queer looks. "What?" Sakura answered him.

"How did you get out?" she asked. Naruto blinked, trying to make heads or tails of her question.

"What do you mean by 'out'?" he asked her. "Because, if you're wondering how I got out of my apartment; then I got out by opening the door." The girl growled angrily.

"Out of the ropes you Baka!" Naruto's right eye twitched. He hadn't liked Sakura for a long, long time now. He was drawn to her when they were about seven years old, when she was nice. However, as they grew up, she became both mean and superficial; both were things Naruto didn't really like. "Kakashi-Sensei went back to get you out of the ropes, but you were already gone! He came and asked me and Sasuke-Kun if we went back and cut you lose!"

"Oh…" Naruto hummed. "And, what'd you say?" the girl stammered slightly, but answered nonetheless.

"B-Baka!" she stomped up to the blonde, narrowed his blue eyes at the close proximity of the pink haired smartass. "Like I'd ever go back and cut you free!" she cast a glance at their third teammate and blushed fiercely. "I-If it was Sasuke-Kun…" she cut herself off and let out a strained squeal of delight; a squeal of delight that sent shivers up Sasuke's spine, and a wave of nausea towards Naruto.

'_Man, for all the problems the Kyuubi has caused me; I'm really glad that I don't have anyone like Sakura or Ino after me…Just way too damn creepy…'_ the blonde thought as he stepped back and away from the girl.

"A-Anyway;" Sasuke stammered, clearly afraid of his female teammate, "how did you get out of the ropes, Dobe?"

"I cut myself free." Naruto shrugged. _'With the help of a clone and my unique skill…But he doesn't need to know that…'_ He saw Sasuke narrow his coal black eyes at him, as if he was studying him. Thankfully for both Genin, it didn't last long, as both pre-teens turned away from staring at the other's face. "Anyway, do you think Kakashi-Sensei's gonna be late again?"

"Probably." Sasuke huffed. Sakura nodded, agreeing with Sasuke immediately.

"Usually, I'd say that we should stay…But he was late yesterday…And the day before." Naruto nodded.

"So…Want to do something?" The pinkette glared at him.

"I'm not going out on a date with you, Naruto!" she snarled. Naruto narrowed his right eye slightly. "EVER!"

"…I don't think I asked you out on a date, Sakura." Naruto began slowly. "I asked you _both_, as in you _and_ Sasuke, if you wanted to do something; as in not just wait _here_ for the next two hours or so, waiting for Kakasih-Teme. Nowhere in my question did I ask you out on a date." The girl glowered at his rather bland explanation. "Besides, I haven't had a crush on you since we were seven."

"…So what's changed?" the girl asked, semi-surprised that the blonde had actually had a crush on her at one point in time. "Is it because of my forehead?" Naruto shook his head. "Then what?" Naruto turned around, shrugged, and started walking off. "It's my bust size, isn't it?" the girl snapped.

"Nope!" Naruto quickly responded; fearing the incoming hellfire that was a scorned woman-err, scorned _pre-teen_ with security issues… "I'm actually a fan of small breasts; I like them a lot more than big ones…" The pinkette's face quickly turned ripe tomato red within milliseconds of his statement. "I just don't like pink."

"Y-You!" Sasuke cut her off by stepping out in front of her, following the blonde haired pre-teen.

"…Want to spar?" the raven haired boy asked as he jogged up to the blonde's side. Naruto shook his head. "Why not? You suck at taijutsu."

"I know!" Naruto grumbled. "But I need to work on my lung capacity."

"What?" Sasuke asked him, giving the blonde another queer look. "Why would you want to do that? Planning on swimming underwater for days at a time or running through poison clouds?" the blonde sighed irately, catching the Uchiha off guard.

"No!" the blonde ground out. "That'd be stupid!" Sasuke frowned. "Look," Naruto began, looking at his teammate as they walked; "I can run pretty fast, but I can't do it for long, it always feels as if my lungs try to catch fire or something. I asked Iruka-Sensei about it, and he said that I should work on increasing my lungs' capacity. He said that the best way to do so was by running and breathing exercises." Naruto idly wondered if the raven haired boy would fall for his lie.

"…So, all you want to do, is run around the village?" Naruto nodded. "…Lame." Naruto shrugged. The raven haired boy sighed and shook his head. _'It beats waiting here for that tardy moron.'_ "Fine…Let's run then!" He didn't wait for the blonde to respond before peeling out in front of Naruto, kicking up a cloud of dust behind him as he ran off into the village. It took Naruto a couple of seconds before smiling. With a small, happy, sigh; he raced off after his raven haired teammate; leaving Sakura at the bridge behind him.

00oo00  
Two Hours Later – Near Team Seven's Meeting Spot  
00oo00

"…Did you really mean what you told Sakura?" Sasuke asked his blonde haired teammate, who was panting heavily as they closed in on their Team's meeting spot. The blonde blinked in confusion. "About actually liking small breasts?"

"Y-Yeah…" the blonde panted out. "Why? W-What's wrong with that?"

Sasuke shook his head quickly, "Nothing's wrong with it…" he looked down at the ground for a second or two before continuing. "It's just, most kids our age would love to have a girl with big breasts."

"…You like big ones, eh?" Naruto smirked at Sasuke's reddening face. "And here I thought you were gay. I'll have to tell Ebisu-San that you're not his type next time I see him." Sasuke shot him a mixed look. It was crossed between a death glare mixed with confusion.

"…Who the hell is Ebisu?" the raven haired boy asked. Naruto sucked in a few gasps of air before answering Sasuke's question.

"He's one of the Sandaime's personal aides." Sasuke nodded in understanding. "He's also the personal instructor for the Sandaime's grandson, Konohamaru…He doesn't like him, and neither do I, to be perfectly honest."

"Why's that?" Sasuke asked as he slowed to a jog. Naruto followed suit.

"He's an asshole." Naruto answered. "That, and he called me a 'good for nothing orphan'…More than once, mind you." Sasuke's eyes darkened. He had been an orphan for several years now, and he found it hard to take anyone's crass comments about orphans. "He's also a closet pervert…I used my anti-pervert jutsu on him, one that can knock out even the Hokage in one shot…I had to use thirty or so clones and turned them into naked fifteen year olds before he finally passed out." Okay, so maybe he was exaggerating slightly; but Ebisu had made fun of him repeatedly because of who he was. He deserved to have some smack talk behind his back.

"…So, he's a pedophile?" Sasuke asked. Naruto shrugged.

"Don't know, and I don't really want to be the one who finds out." Sasuke quickly nodded. "So, anyway…Big boobs, huh?" The raven haired boy blushed. "Hey, don't be so embarrassed!" the blonde said cheerfully. "They might not be my cup of tea, but that doesn't mean you can't like them!"

"Sh-Shut up!" the Uchiha snapped at the smirking blonde beside him. The two gradually slowed down to a walking pace before Naruto opened his mouth again.

"...Sango-Sensei." Sasuke blinked before looking at the blonde oddly. "…Houki-Sensei…" Sasuke's eyes widened slightly in realization. "Kurenai-Sens-"

"Shut up!" Sasuke snarled at the blonde. "Just shut up!" Naruto laughed at him. "It's not funny!"

"Says you!" the blonde chirped. "You're just embarrassed because I figured out that you like big boobs!" Sasuke punched his left shoulder hard, making Naruto wince in pain. "M-Maybe I should tell Kiba that you like his Sensei! Bet he'll get pissed!" Sasuke punched him again, this time even harder.

"Why the hell would he get pissed off for?" Sasuke growled.

"Sasuke, Sasuke, Sasuke…Teme." Another punch and another wince. "Look, Kiba is the only boy in his family, right?"

"No he's not." Sasuke replied. Seeing Naruto's confused look Sasuke sighed. "You didn't know that he has cousins?" the blonde shook his head. "Dobe." Sasuke dodged the punch the blonde sent at him. "Too slow!" _Thwack!_ "OUCH!" he grunted, rubbing his right arm, glaring at the blonde beside him; who was also glaring at him.

"…Anyway…" Naruto began slowly, making sure to watch out for a counter attack as they walked and talked. "Kiba is like the oldest boy in his family, right?" Sasuke shrugged.

"How the hell would I know?" he asked. Naruto growled angrily.

"Whatever!" Naruto snapped. "The point is that Kiba's just like his puppy! He thinks he's the Elpha-Male or something like that, and thinks that he gets first pick!"

"First off, Dobe; it's _Alpha-Male_, and second of all; I don't think that just like his puppy." Sasuke corrected the blonde. Naruto raised an eyebrow.

"How so?" Sasuke took a moment to think before responding.

"Because Akamaru is much more well behaved that Kiba is." Naruto snickered. "…Joking aside, I don't think he'd try to make his Sensei his woman."

"Why do you think that?" the younger of the two asked. Sasuke looked upward for a brief second before answering.

"Because…I've met his Mom once…" Naruto waited eagerly, mouthing 'And…'; trying to rush the raven haired boy. "…She's scary."

"…How scary?" Naruto asked. Sasuke gulped slightly before a light blush appeared, confusing Naruto.

"…Like rip your balls of and force feed them to you, scary." Naruto winced. "And that's just how she _looks!_ She's pretty damn mean too! I think that if Kiba tried to mark anyone as his woman, he'd be unable to reproduce within five seconds of her hearing of what he did…Clan heir or not."

"…Wow…That's just…WoW…" Sasuke nodded in agreement, still blushing. "…So…You want me to go and tell her that you like her like that?" _SHH-INK!_ "Uh..Sasuke? What are you doing with that kunai?"

"…What kunai, Naruto?" Sasuke asked as he smirked dangerously at his teammate.

"Fine! FINE!" Naruto yelled, holding his hands in front of his family jewels as a last line of protection from the kunai. "I won't tell her you have a crush on her." The kunai stayed out for a few more seconds…But slowly and surely, it began to retract. Sighing a sigh of relief, Naruto moved away from his teammate before opening his mouth again. "…I'll just tell her that you want to touch her bo-" the kunai was back. "…Fine…You're no fun, Sasuke…"

"I'm an Uchiha…" the raven haired boy ground out. "We don't do _fun!"_

"And that, Sasuke-Teme…Is why you suck." The kunai came closer… "I'm joking! Geez!"

"…You had better be…" Sasuke's eyes were narrowed dangerously…Naruto almost gulped. Almost.

He probably would have gulped if it hadn't been for the tuft of grey-silver hair he saw near the bridge as he and Sasuke moved closer to their meeting point. "A-Ah! Kakashi-Tem, err, Kakashi-Sensei!" he waved at the man, how oddly enough didn't seem to have noticed the slip up. "When did you get here?"

"…Half an hour ago." He said pleasantly. Both pre-teens gulped. "I hear that you were out training…" the two boys nodded. "That's great!" he walked up to them, with Sakura slowly following the man a good five or six feet behind, a small smirk present on her face. "But you didn't bring Sakura with you." He cracked his knuckles. "A good team doesn't leave their teammates behind…" the skies over head darkened and thunder shook the earth as the man towered over the two pre-teens.

'_Oh shit!'_ Naruto told himself. Taking a deep breath of air, he held it. As the world slowed to a stop, he quickly thought of a plan. Moving quickly, the blonde took several steps back, but not so many that Kakashi would have noticed anything unusual about his change in distance; and let the breath of air go… "Uh…I think I left my kitchen faucet on…I'm gonna go check on it real quick; is that okay with you Kakashi-Sensei? Yes? Great! See you in a bi-_Urk!_" Naruto felt him body leave the surface of the earth and stared up into his sensei's one visible eye.

"Kakashi-Teme, huh?" This time, Naruto did gulp in fear.

00oo00  
Five Hours Later – The Trek to Ichiraku's  
00oo00

"-cking hypocrite!" Naruto swore as he weaved through the streets, dodging people left and right as he ventured closer to his favorite eatery in the village. _"Don't leave your teammates behind!_ Bah!" he kicked at a rock as he went. "Stupid idiot! He left me tied to a frickin' log last night and he has the nerve to tell me not to abandon my teammates?"

"What's eating you, Naruto-Kun?" the soft feminine voice cut Naruto out of his angry stupor. Shaking his head rather violently, Naruto looked to where the voice had come from and found himself looking at Ayame from the Ichiraku Ramen Stand.

"H-Hi, Ayame-Neechan!" he stammered. He didn't like cussing in front of her…She had a ladle, and she knew how to use it. Amazingly, even when it didn't look like she had it on her, she could produce it and smack his head within moments of swearing. "H-How are you doing?" he asked the older girl.

"I'm doing fine…" she said happily. "Just got done buying some more napkins…Had a couple of spills earlier today and ran out, hehe…" she rubbed the back of her head sheepishly as she replayed the spills again in her mind. "…Anyway, what about you? I thought you'd be with your team?"

"Tch…" Naruto spat on the ground angrily. "My Sensei's a prick." He caught his mistake and instantly prepared himself for the punishment…but it never came. He looked at Ayame quickly, not wanting her to see him checking to make sure that she wasn't brandishing her weapon. "He goes on and on about how teammates should help one another and how we shouldn't abandon them…But I can't really take him seriously when he left me tied to a log last night for nearly three hours while he and my teammates left for dinner."

"He doesn't sound very nice, does he?" Ayame muttered softly. "Maybe you should tell the Hokage?" Naruto shrugged.

"Won't do any good…I already asked for a new team, and Iruka-Sensei told me no." Ayame sighed. "Anyway," he paused when he noticed a man's hand reaching for Ayame's back side. Taking a breath of air in quickly, Naruto picked up Ayame and moved her out of the offending hand. Using this opportunity to make someone's day hell, Naruto moved right in front of the offending hand and let go of his breath of air. As soon as the first finger brushed the seat of his jumpsuit, he turned around and lashed out with a kick…

…A kick that landed where no man ever wanted a kick to land. The offending man, a fat merchant by the looks of it, crumbled over and started gasping for air, his face quickly turning red.

"Naruto-Kun?" Ayame asked as she turned around. Seeing the man on the ground, she looked at her young friend. "What happened?" A small crowd started to gather.

"He grabbed my butt!" the blonde lied. "He just came over and grabbed me like I was a towel or something!" The man looked up at him, fear and rage seeping out onto his face as he tried to regain his bearings. However, before he could open his mouth, Ayame opened hers.

"Help!" she yelped. "I need assistance!" a wandering Chuunin happened to hear her cries and rushed over to the girl and the blonde Genin. He made a face at Naruto, but changed his attention back to the ramen cook.

"What's the matter?" the Chuunin asked her. Ayame pointed at the man in front of her and Naruto. "He just molested this boy!" the Chuunin looked from Ayame to Naruto, and then from Naruto to the merchant.

"…Sick." He hissed. He grabbed the man and made a hand seal. "You are disgusting! Scum like you!" his words cut off there as he and the merchant disappeared in a swirl of leaves. After the two left, and the crowed started to leave; Naruto looked at Ayame and smiled genuinely.

"Thanks, Ayame-Neechan." The older girl shook her head and patted him on the shoulder.

"Don't mention it, Naruto-Kun…" she turned around, the blonde followed her lead. "Come, let's go; I'll get you some ramen to help calm your nerves." The blonde's eyes widened before his smile widened.

"Thanks!"

00oo00  
Two Weeks Later – Outside of Konohagakure – C-Rank Mission to Nami no Kuni  
00oo00

"…Are you sure I'll be safe?" the drunkard named Tazuna asked Kakashi for the sixteenth time since they left the village. And, for the sixteenth time since they left the village, Kakashi nodded.

"While my students may be young, Tazuna-San; I am a fully fledged Jounin and have years of experience under my belt. I'm sure that we'll be able to handle anything that could go wrong." The group of five passed a puddle alongside the road.

There weren't even twenty feet away from the puddle when two men rose up from the small water source, water-breathers on their faces, large gauntlets on their hands and a sharp chain that linked the two together. Both men glared at the small group in front of them before charging…

* * *

Here's the deal…Naruto has the power to stop time by holding his breath. However, he can't hold it forever and never _will_ be able to hold it forever. He tries to expand the time frame for how long he can hold it, but he will never be able to hold it forever.

Naruto isn't your normal Canon! dumbass. He's smarter than the Canon! version and, as you will note, doesn't crush on Sakura. Unlike most people and their stories however, he hasn't liked her for _years_. He liked her when he was seven. He's 12 now, as is she; and he doesn't like what she's become and obviously isn't afraid to let her know either. He doesn't really like girls/women with big breasts, they're fine to talk to and hang out with; but he doesn't find them all that attractive. He likes them small; and he likes his women feisty but not Bash-Your-Head-In- feisty.

Also, if you didn't notice it, Naruto isn't as nice as he was in the Canon! he's not supposed to like everyone no matter what they do. That is a lame and overused additive to most stories nowadays.

He's not a god. Never will be. He's stronger than he is in Canon! but he's not godly. He doesn't have a dream to become Hokage, which is why I left it open for you to figure out. Hell, his goal/dream can easily just be to figure out if he's really a freak with the ability to stop time when he holds his breath; or if it's all because of the Kyuubi.

Naruto throwing Ki blasts at everyone? Nope. Jutsu only. No planet destroying mega balls here.

Over all rules:

Pairings: Must be straight(no yoai, no slash or whatever it's called in your neck of the world) and it cannot be Naruto/Sakura or Naruto/Hinata.  
No harems: One girl only please. Power to stop time or not, only one girl. Dating around, yes…More than one girl in bed, no.  
Romance: Slow and believable.  
No Ki blasts: None…At all.  
Naruto's Power to Stop Time: Not a bloodline. Meaning, no clan restoration act for power hungry Danzo/Konohagakure.  
Naruto must **_never_** come out and just tell anyone about his ability. He fears that he will be picked up and chained to a table to be studied by scientists if he does.  
Akatsuki/Madara: You're choice.  
Orochimaru can't find out about Naruto's ability until _after_ he fights with him and him alone. No Kabuto spoiling the news/shock.  
No Rinnegan/Byakuugan/Sharingan Naruto. Never.  
Naruto and Sasuke as friends? Your call.

…So…Yeah. Even if you don't think you want to try it, I hope you had fun reading. It took me several hours to write up from scratch…Skipped supper and I've had to go to the restroom for nearly two hours now…But it's all good…

Ja!(Rushes away towards the restroom...)


	4. Naruto! I Choose You!

Idea Tome

* * *

Here's an odd one for you all. Also, you know it was bound to happen. I did grow up in that era after all…However, I feel that you'll like this little twist…(cackles evilly!) Also, I grew up watching the English version of the anime, so if you don't like the fact that I use Ash instead of Satoshi, and Misty instead of Kasumi; then change it yourself. I know how pissed off you fan boys/girls can be…

P.S.: My Spellchecker loves to screw me over, so if you find spelling/grammar errors, please, let me know. I will try to fix them. Thank you.

* * *

Naruto! I Choose You!

"ARGH!" a spiky haired blonde boy screamed in frustration as he summoned yet another tadpole. He banished the tadpole before falling back on his rear and pouted. "Why is this so hard?" He looked up and scanned the onsen he had been practicing the summoning technique and found an older man white long white hair peeping through the dividing wall that separated the men's side of the hot spring, from the women's side. "Are you going to help me, or are you just gonna' peep all day?" the man stumbled but jumped away from the fence, his left hand over his heart.

"What're you trying to do, Gaki?" he snarled at the blonde. "You could have gotten me killed!" the blonde snorted. "Are you done yet?"

"No!" the blonde snapped. "All I'm doing is summoning more tadpoles!"

"Well," the white haired man began, walking back to the hole in the fence; "pump more chakra into it…" With that, the man bent down, and started peeping again. The blonde grumbled underneath his breath but did as he was told.

Running his hands through hand seals at a rapid pace, the boy continued to gather chakra. Once he was done running his hands through the various hand seals; the blonde brought his right thumb to his mouth and bite down. Tasting the coppery flavor of his own blood, the blonde slammed his hands on the ground. "Kuchiyose no Jutsu!" A stream of black symbols raced out in a circular pattern. _'Come on! Not a tadpole! Not a tadpole!'_ "Not a tadpole! Not a tadpo-" the boy's mantra ended as a blinding light filled the air. "W-What? E-ERO-SENNIIIIIIIIiiiiiin!" the white haired man looked up and away from the hole he had been peeping through and just barely caught a glimpse of his new student being pulled into a vortex of bright white light. He started to move towards the boy, only to have the boy completely disappear before he got a quarter of the way to him.

The bright light left without a sound, and the stone floor of the onsen had no scars to show, and Jiraya gulped in fear. Somehow, under his watch, Naruto; his Godson and the son of his last pupil, had accidentally created a reverse summoning of sorts, and was now who knew where. One thought ran through his mind. "…Sensei's gonna kill me."

00oo00  
In Another Universe…  
00oo00

A young boy, around ten or eleven years of age, was standing in a field, starring down a small bird. At his side, was a small yellow mouse like creature. "Alright, Pikachu…" the boy whispered to the mouse. "Use thunder shock!" When nothing happened, the boy glanced down at his side and found that the mouse had left his side. Looking around, he found his partner up in a tree. "Come on, Pikachu!" the boy pleaded. "I need your help!"

"Pi…Ka~" the mouse creature replied, shaking its head.

"Please?" the mouse just turned its head away from the boy. "Fine then!" the boy shouted at it. "I don't need your help! I'm gonna capture this Spearow all by myself!" the boy turned around and grabbed a small red and white ball from his back pocket. He pushed a small white button on the small orb, and it grew into a fist sized ball. The boy stuck out his tongue concentrated. The bird just hardened it's gaze at him. "Pokéball! Go!" the boy shouted as he hurled the ball at the small bird. However, just as the red and white ball left the boy's hand, a blinding white light lit the area up, scaring the small bird, and blinding the boy.

When the light faded, the boy rubbed his eyes quickly before looking at the area where the Spearow had been. All he found was the Pokéball. A smile encompassed his face. The boy ran over to the ball, picked it up and held it high over his head. "RAH!" he shouted happily. "I did it! I captured Spearow!" the boy turned around to look at the yellow mouse in the tree and smirked at it. "See Pikachu!" he began. "I caught that Spearow, without your help!" the mouse just glared at the boy angrily. "Tch! You're just mad because I was right and you're wrong!"

"Chu!" the mouse snapped at the boy. Then, the mouse; who had been lying on the branch, jumped to its feet. The boy raised an eyebrow, not understanding what was going on.

"Pikachu?" the boy asked hesitantly. "What is it?" As soon as he finished his question, a large black swarm erupted from the tree lines to his left. Turning his head towards the swarm, he squinted; trying to see what was coming.

"Spearow!" Came dozens of angry calls as many small birds raced through the air; aiming at the boy. "Spearow!"

"Crap!" the boy cried. He placed the pokéball in his pant pocket and looked up at the yellow mouse. "Pikachuu!" he cried. "We gotta get out of here!" Half expecting the small mouse to shake its head, he was shocked momentarily to see the mouse scurrying down the trunk of the tree and darting past the boy. "W-Wait up, Pikachu!" the boy quickly followed the small mouse. The ticked flock of Spearow followed close behind.

00oo00  
Several Hours Later…  
00oo00

Ash Ketchum, new trainer from Pallet Town, ran into the Pokémon Center; his injured Pikachu in his arms. He raced to the front desk and quickly explained what had happened to his Pikachu to the pink haired woman behind the counter, Nurse Joy; and handed Pikachu over to her. As she raced off to treat Pikachu; the boy sat down on a nearby chair and prayed that he wasn't too late.

00oo00

"W-What do you guys want?" Ash asked the two newcomers, who had just broken through the front door of the Pokémon Center moments earlier. They proceeded to perform a corny poem like mantra before addressing his question.

"We," the red haired woman began; "are here to take all of this Pokémon Center's Pokémon, of course!"

"Y-You can't do that!" the girl, Misty, who Ash had met on his way to the Viridian City Pokémon Center. "Some of these Pokémon are sick and injured! Not to mention that they don't belong to you!"

"Oh?" the blue haired man cooed. "And who's going to stop us?"

"I am!" Ash stated, pulling a Pokéball from his back pocket.

"You want to fight? With us?" a talking Meowth asked. "Okay then!" the cat creature smirked and released its sharp claws.

"Ekans! Go!" the red haired woman shouted as she tossed a Pokéball out. In mid air, the ball opened and in a flash of red light, a large purple snake like creature was sitting on the floor of the Pokémon Center, coiled and ready to strike.

"Koffing!" the blue haired man shouted and tossed a Pokéball of his own. In another flash of red light, a large purple balloon with a small Jolly Roger symbol painted on its floated into the air.

Ash went to summon Spearow, but Misty tossed a Pokéball of her own out…Unfortunately, in a spectacular flop, a Goldeen, a large goldfish like creature with a small horn poking out of its forehead flopped around, gasping for air. The red head quickly recalled the fish and the two criminals laughed.

"Yeah! W-Well!" the girl began. Ash tossed his Pokéball, interrupting the red haired girl.

"Spearow! I choose you!" a large flash of red light filled the room. As the light died down, both sides of the battle, good and evil; looked at the new Pokémon in shock.

"What the hell?" a new, slightly shrill voice shouted. "Where the hell am I?"

Jesse, James, Meowth, Ekans and Koffing; along with Ash and Misty found themselves starring at a life sized human boy. Said boy, had spiky blonde hair, an orange jumpsuit and blue sandals on his feet. He had a pouch on his right leg and a fanny pack. He turned to each of the people there and showed off his ocean blue eyes, which were quickly narrowing. He reached his hand into the pouch on his leg and began to fish for something.

"What the hell?" Jesse asked. "What the hell is that?" her partners in crime just shook their heads.

"I have no clue." The blue haired man, James, replied.

"Some sort of freak?" Meowth stated. The other two nodded…Until the blonde boy…Pokémon?...pulled out a very sharp knife, one that glinted in the light of the Pokémon Center's fluorescent lights.

"…Uh…" Ash began, blinking in disbelief as he stared at the boy like Pokémon. He dug into his pants and found his Pokédex and pointed it at the being in front of him.

_Data unavailable - Unknown Pokémon_

"Well, it's a Pokémon." The cat like creature began. "Dem Pokédex's don't lie about dat!" he turned to his teammates. "Let's steal it and give it to da Boss as a gift!" The two adults nodded.

"Right!" they shouted.

"…Nani?" the blonde asked.

"Oh no you don't!" Ash shouted. "That Pokémon is mine!"

"NANI!"

"Nani!" Ash called out, pointing at the snake and balloon Pokémon with his right index finger. "Tackle Attack!"

"Nani?" the blonde felt his body move on its own, and launched towards the snake and balloon creature. "NANIII!" he shouted again as he felt his body collide into the two Pokémon.

'_What the hell's going on? And why is my body moving by itself?'_

End

* * *

There you go; an odd twist on the Naruto/Pokémon crossover.

I've read stories where Naruto is a Pokémon trainer, a Pokémon training ninja, who uses them as a replacement for jutsu; I've read stories is a Nine-Tails…But I've never seen one where Naruto is basically himself, human form; can speak and everything, but is captured by someone(in this case Ash/Satoshi) and is thought to be some sort of new or unknown species of Pokémon.

Here's the dreaded rules:

Pairings are allowed…But! No Naruto/Pokémon – This means no bestiality or sexual relationships with any Pokémon whatsoever. They can be, however, Naruto/Female(and female only) but no Naruto/Mist(Kasumi), Naruto/May, Naruto/Dawn or Naruto/Iris.  
Naruto doesn't say "Nani" forever, people. It's just that he accidentally summoned himself to a new world, was immediately captured inside of a foreign device. He can speak the basic language.  
Naruto starts out as Ash's 'Pokémon' but doesn't have to stay as his Pokémon. He can be traded, but why Ash would ever do so? He can, however, be stolen by others.  
Naruto does not 'Evolve'. Not ever. He can learn other attacks, like Hyper Beam, but it effects him just as it would any other Pokémon that uses it. Also, his first attack is obviously 'Tackle Attack!' – No super moves right out of the starting gate people…  
Naruto doesn't have to be the only person from the Naruto Universe, but if you do have others summon themselves(No Orochimaru or Madara), it they can't immediately find Naruto. Also, no Naruto/Hinata or Naruto/Sakura. Thought I'd mention that now…  
Yes, Naruto can live inside a Pokéball.  
For all intents and purposes, Naruto is a Pokémon. That means people will be coming from miles and miles around to get a glimpse at him. Or, just to try to steal him.  
Naruto can have an attack based off of either his Rasengan or his Kyuubi-infused abilities, but only one. Also, if it's based off of the Kyuubi's power, he can't spam it. Meaning it's like a 5/5pp move. Only, there is no upgrading the PP of said move. And yes, the PP is taken from the games.  
Naruto cannot keep his sharp and pointy weapons. Why? The Pokémon world isn't all that dangerous. Seriously. He can't kill his opponents, no matter how much he wants to.  
What is Naruto's new goal? To find his way home, duh! But will he? Well, that's up to you; but it cannot be as easy as finding and saving Lugia or talking to Ho-Oh…  
Naruto can understand Pokémon…But it will take some time. Also, this should scare him crap-less.

Okay, just one more thing before I say 'thank you' and what not:

If you decide to try one of these stories, please drop me a message telling me so. Chances are I will your story on my profile.

Well, it's late; I'm hungry; so I'm going to end it here. Hope you had fun and there should be another idea coming within the next couple of days.

Ja Ne!


	5. Naruto, the Multiform User

Naruto, the Multiform User

* * *

This one-shot idea came to me from the multitudes of ideas that swim around in my head involving another possible DBZ/Naruto crossover, only instead of having the ability to control time, Naruto tries his hand at a different kind of clone...And fails. Horribly.

* * *

It wasn't completely unheard of for someone to create their own jutsu. In fact, at one time or another, all jutsu, from the most complicated to the most simple, were just an idea that someone thought of at one point in time or another. For one Uzumaki Naruto, who had no clue as to go about creating a jutsu; at least, if it wasn't based off of the Henge technique, which was something he had already done; then it was probably best to say that he had no experience at creating jutsu at all. However, with the frustration of not being able to create a single, solitary clone having bested him once and for all; having failed his second attempt at becoming a Genin earlier that week, the blue eyed, whiskered blonde had had more than enough.

_'If I can't make a regular clone, then I'll make my own!'_ And with that thought a lit in his mind, Naruto had begun thinking on how to go about making a clone technique. Of course, that involved theory, and theory was something that Naruto had never been good at. It wasn't because he was stupid. Oh no. It was simple because none of the instructors at the academy could make theory...or mathematics...or history...or...well, anything they tried to teach at the academy; exciting. They just droned on for hours on end, and then expected him to ace a test on stuff that wasn't exciting enough to pay attention to. _'How do clones form, anyway?'_ A good question...But not one for someone like him. Quickly tossing theory behind the technique he needed help learning out the window almost as soon as he thought about it; he shrugged his shoulders and decided that the only thing he could do without too much of a headache was to do what he did with his Orioke no Jutsu; and wing it.

-o-

Things were going smoothly for one Umino Iruka, Chuunin level instructor at the Shinobi Academy in Konohagakure. Another batch of students had been tested for the rank of Genin not even twenty-four hours ago, and only one candidate failed the exam. How far the collective graduates lasted now that they had left his tutelage was completely up the those who had passed the exam. As he walked toward the Hokage's Tower, a bit slower than he would have been walking had it not been his scheduled downtime from the academy; the brown haired man's thoughts slowly turned to the single failure of yesterday's batch of students. His smile, one that had been sitting nicely on his face since the end of breakfast-and the subsequent event that included showering, brushing his teeth and other morning activities-began to falter, if only slightly.

It wasn't the first time that Uzumaki Naruto had attempted the exams, and it wasn't the first time that he had failed. It was, however; a bit of a wake up call for both the boy as well as himself. The boy may not have had his favor when he first began teaching him, but the boy had slowly, but surely, won him over...Even if it involved him usually being the end of a joke or the one to hunt him down in the village after finding out that the blonde haired pre-teen had skipped out on a class session. Still, it was a wake up call for him to remind himself to attempt to sit down and really ensure that the lessons taught this next session stuck with him. If not, and he failed again; he would be removed from the Shinobi program and either forced to enroll into the VGP, or Village Guard Program; a program created by the Daimyo and his advisers some five or so years ago when a particularly large group of Genin hopefuls had failed the academy for various reasons; moving them from being students in assassination, and into becoming future guards for the capital as well as other villages within Hi no Kuni's borders.

Another possible outcome was the blonde losing all of his memories since he had started at the academy through several sessions with a group of Yamanaka; and having fake memories placed in their stead. It was a horrible outcome for someone who's only goal was to become the leader of a Hidden Village, like Naruto's was; but it was definitely a possible outcome.

The last and absolute worst outcome was to be forcibly drafted into the Daimyo's Samurai Forces, being trained for months on end under the supervision of captains and instructors whose level of patience with wayward wards, like Naruto; would be almost non-existent if not entirely non-existent to begin with. An image of Naruto becoming a follower of Bushido and living by the sword wasn't too far off...But the samurai legions had left a very discolored view of themselves after the Third War ended, when the forces of Konoha withdrew from newly gained territories and the samruai forces of the Daimyo swept in to ensure that the public knew who now owned them and their land. The stories of samurai murdering anyone they felt like, stealing from anyone they wished to even the act of rape; of both sexes, had swept through the country like wild fire.

_'No.'_ The academy instructor told himself, shaking his head once solidly. _'I won't let Naruto fail...'_ Or, in the very least, he hoped he wouldn't. He could only do so much. The rest would, ultimately, fall upon the blonde haired boy to work on.

-o-

As he reached the Hokage's Tower, Iruka peered through the double glass doors at the secretary on duty and noted that she wore a very odd expression, in comparison to her usual one. She was, in his own mind; a fairly plain looking young woman, who's long light brown hair was not as usual as most of the villages' inhabitants, and her bust size wouldn't win her any awards in a bikini competition alone; but she was one of the few people in the village whom he had met who didn't really mind her plain looking features, and that to him spoke of her self confidence in volumes. However, sitting in her chair, looking oddly up the main staircase that led to further floors; her mouth hung slightly ajar and her eyes were both wide and wild. It was as if she had seen a ghost. Letting out a sigh, one he didn't even know that he bore within him, Iruka made his way over to her and stopped several inches away from the desk.

"Ina?" He asked softly, hoping that his sudden appearance and words wouldn't send the young woman into a fit and give her a heart attack. He would have hated for something like that to happen. When the woman slowly tore her eyes from the stairs, locking onto his dark colored orbs with her own dark colored orbs, the woman quickly looked away, though briefly; before shutting her mouth and quickly plastering a shaky smile over her emotion riddled face.

"Umino-San!" She greeted, though her tone carried with it confusion and even a hint of fear. "If...If you've come to speak with Hokage-Sama...I'm afraid he's a bit...uh...busy, at the moment..."

Iruka's eyes narrowed slightly, though not in anger. Confusion, but not anger. "I wasn't looking for him directly, no..." He stated slowly as his mind played her words over again in his mind. "I was just coming in for Mission Assignment duty...But, if you don't mind; would you mind telling me why you were looking up the stairs as if a ghost had floated past you?"

The younger woman's dark orbs narrowed slightly as she looked toward the stairs again before her lips slowly began to formulate words; "...Uzumaki Naruto..." She stated slowly. Her tone wasn't scornful, but it was far from kind. In fact, it wasn't anywhere one could consider it to be remotely neutral. Iruka frowned. He hadn't known that Ina was another bigot...Like he used to be. As he began to open his mouth in response, the younger woman continued speaking. "...He came rushing in here not too long ago." Any anger Iruka had felt immediately halted. He wouldn't have seen the blonde rushing to the tower, seeing as the pre-teen's apartment building was on the other side of the village in conjunction to his own. Naruto also had a way with disregarding any sort of rule and command; another reason why he seriously hoped that the blonde passed the next Genin exam. Whether or not he was forced to enter the VGP or carted off to the capital; the boy's pension for disregarding authority would get him into a great deal of trouble, and fast.

"...He came running in here as if he were on fire, screaming and yelling for the Hokage to help him fix something he did." Ina turned to look at the older brunette and brought her slender arms up to the sides of her chest and cupped the sides of her breast. So in shock was she that she didn't flush in the slightest as she continued her explanation of the event that had just taken place moments ago. "It looked as he had two extra arms, both growing out from under his armpits..."

"...Excuse me?" Iruka asked, any anger he had brought to bear against the younger woman, was now gone completely. With shock written on his face as Ina nodded vigorously in a silent response. Faltering slightly as the image of a four armed Naruto running throughout the village taking root within his mind, Iruka's bottom lip quivered slightly as the thought of two extra sets of hands helping the young blonde prankster with all of his pranks from that day forward caused him to sway slightly on his feet.

"Oh!" Ina exclaimed as she noticed the scarred man tremble slightly. "Umino-San! Are you okay?!"

The younger woman's answer came in the form of Iruka's eyes rolling into the back of his head and his body falling to the floor beneath them with a crash. "UMINO-SAN!"

-o-

"First a perverted twist on Henge...And now this." Sarutobi Hiruzen, the Sandaime Hokage of Konohagakure lamented solemnly as he gazed at Naruto's two, brand new, and fully operational appendages, from behind his desk. The boy's ocean blue eyes bore into his dark eyes, full of fear and hope. Sighing loudly, Hiruzen closed his eyes and shook his head slowly. "I don't know what to tell you, Naruto. I've never heard of such a thing happening to someone before." He had heard of a multitude of other nasty, shocking, surprising and even deadly things happening to people who threw all caution to the wind and tried to create their own jutsu on the fly, but nothing like this.

"...You mean I'm going to be like this for the rest of my life?!" The blonde asked, his voice high pitched and concern flowing from every syllable of every word that left his lips.

"I don't know." Hiruzen repeated. "It's certainly a possibility, that's for sure. But, it could also go away within time." He paused, hoping that they would sink into the boy's mind. After several moments of silence, his curiosity got the best of him.

"What exactly were you hoping for, Naruto?" He pondered.

The blonde stared at him, his face reddening slightly, clearly shammed. "I...I was trying to make my own Bunshin, Jiji..." Naruto stated. The Sandaime nodded, recalling the boy's earlier words when he barged into his office, barely giving the aged leader time to hide Jiraya's latest edition of Icha Icha Paradise.

"As you have stated, Naruto." Hiruzen quipped. "However, you never told me what exactly it was supposed to do." Quickly, the boy's expression changed.

"I thought you were supposed to be smart, Jiji." The blonde snarked, earning disapproving look from the older man. "I was trying to make a clone! That's all!"

Another sigh was birthed into the world by Hiruzen as he barely resisted the urge to slap his forehead. _'Maybe it's time to upgrade part of the curriculum.'_ He told himself. It wasn't only the blonde's fault for not knowing about different types of Bunshin and what they could do. "What I meant, Naruto; was were you trying to give the clone you were trying to make some sort of special ability, like to be able to talk or to be able to hold a weapon? Remember, the Bunshin no Jutsu doesn't make anything other than illusions. They look real, but aren't."

"...I didn't know that..." The blonde admitted softly, looking down at the floorboards beneath his feet, clearly embarrassed. After a few moments, however; the boy continued; "I thought they were real...I guess, in the end; I was just trying to split myself into two different people...Maybe even more than that."

"Quite an endeavor." The Hokage admitted, and indeed it was. The boy was hardly the first person to want to do so; that's why Bunshin of various forms had been created. He was, however; one of the only people he knew who had partially split himself into a separate being and hadn't died. Maybe it had something to do with the Kyuubi...But then again, he hadn't felt any of the Bijuu's chakra earlier that morn, and he couldn't detect any now. Maybe, Naruto's extra limbs really were all his own doing. His own _stupid_ doing, but all his own nonetheless. "If this problem doesn't sort itself out by the end of the day, Naruto; I want you to try it again. Do exactly what you were attempting to do earlier, only this time; try and fully separate yourself into two beings. Or," seeing the frightened look on the blonde's face; "try and pull yourself together again. Either way, you won't be leaving my sight until either the technique ends or until you either split yourself fully into two separate beings or you are normal once more. Do you understand?"

Hearing the steel in the man's voice, Naruto nodded.

"Good." Hiruzen stated with a sharp nod. "Now, until you feel like you are willing to give the technique a shot, come here and put your extra arms and hands to use." He nodded to the pile of papers on the right side of his desk. "All of those forms need a stamp of approval and to be stacked in the right tray." The older man almost chuckled as the look of disbelief over took the blonde's face. Almost.

End

* * *

This is, as I stated above, another DBZ/Naruto crossover; where instead of being able to control time, Naruto invents the Multiform Technique.

For those of you who may wish to attempt this idea for yourself:

The Multiform Technique is the only ability from DBZ allowed in the story and Naruto can only split himself into a total of three full beings. Anymore than three and he'd be too weak to be much of a threat to anyone(remember, the Multiform Technique splits the user's strength, speed, Ki(Chakra in this story) in half for every Multiform(and since the only time a Multiform returns to the user outside of being canceled(absorbed)by the user; is to be KO'd or killed, Naruto wouldn't gain the energy back from them). So, if you give Naruto the ability to split himself into six beings, he'd be 1/6 as powerful as he would be if he hadn't used the technique in the first place.

Naruto cannot learn any other form of Bunshin. None at all.  
Naruto cannot gain the Rinnegan, Sharringan, or the Byakugan.  
Naruto cannot be God!Like.  
Romance is, oddly enough; up to you, as long as it's not slash/yaoi. Remember, if you would like to take a crack at this idea, I would love to be informed so I can read it, complete with your own twists and style(s). I do not find slash/yaoi entertaining at all; so it would kind of ruin the point of telling me you're taking a crack at it.

Other than that, it's completely up to you.  
Ja!


	6. Hakubi Naruto Ver 1

Hakubi Naruto

* * *

In the north-east portion of the massive desert called Kaze no Kuni; near a small rocky outcrop, the only outcrop for hundreds of miles around; was a small cave entrance. Inside the cave entrance, was a stony hallway, cut out by shoddy tools; most likely made stone or low grade metals; that led to a small shrine.

In front of the shrine, stood a young blonde haired teen; probably near fifteen or sixteen years old; staring at the papers seals that had been placed in, on, near and around the small, ancient wooden shrine. Moving her head and her eyes; the girl looked at every seal before marking the condition of each seal on a piece of paper with a pencil. As she worked, a visible frown worked its way onto her face.

'_It's the same thing, time after time.'_ She grumbled mentally. _'The Elders get fearful and paranoid and then send me out to check on the stupid seals…'_ the teen stopped checking off seals and writing down their conditions and took a few moments to sneer at the pieces of paper. _'…demon huh?'_ she scoffed. "Must not have been a very strong one if it was sealed in a rock." The Shukaku, now there was a real demon…A demon that had turned her youngest brother into a sociopathic killing machine. After checking the last few seals, the blonde haired girl put the piece of paper and the pencil back into a small satchel that was lying on rock floor of the shrine; before closing it and hoisting it up to her shoulders and securing it. Turning around the teen began to walk away from the shrine; through the tunnel and towards the entrance/exit.

Unknown to Temari, but while she hoisted her satchel over her shoulders, a corner of the shoulder bag had nicked one of the more powerful suppressive seals within the shrine. As she exited the shrine, deep under the outcrop; in a dark cave, a tall preserved corpse began to tremble. The mummy's fetid eyelids snapped open, and a pair of glowing dark purple eyes sprang to life.

00oo00

Hitoshi and Isamu watched and waited in anticipation as the blonde teenaged kunoichi walked out of the rocky outcrop. They had been trailing her for a couple of hours now, waiting to try and get the drop on her.

Their goal was simple. To join the most power crime boss in the Elemental Nations; Gatô of Gatô Shipping Industries; they had to steal or smuggle something or, they could kidnap someone and bring their loot or captive back to Gatô himself. After weeks and weeks of searching for the right target, they found one.

Oh sure, they could have gone after someone who _didn't_ know how to defend themselves, as well as kill their attackers seven different ways within the first two seconds of conflict; but kidnapping a small helpless child had no flare; and a lot of unwanted attention; not to mention would spawn a search for the missing child, and that would most assuredly bring in Chuunin and Jounin to track them down. But a kunoichi on the other hand…

Kunoichi were subject to kidnappings, much more so than shinobi were. When they were caught, they were usually subjected to beatings and rape before or after information gathering. They were also seldom searched for by their villages due to the fact that if a ninja didn't come back, it meant one of three things. Death or capture; or they betrayed their village. If a ninja was a traitor, or branded as such; then the only ones searching for them were Oi-Nin who would kill before talking. This kunoichi happened to walk right by their desert camp earlier that morning on her way towards the rocky outcrop.

Their plan for capturing her was simple, if not harsh. One man would distract her while the other slunk up behind her and smashed a wooden club over her head, hopefully knocking her out. From there, they could drug her and then be on their merry way…

…If it weren't for Isamu and the tales he had told Hitoshi that surrounded the rocky outcrop in front of them, they would have trespassed within the shrine that the rocky exterior protected from both people and elements; and done the deed already…However…

"There really a demon sealed in that place?" Hitoshi asked his partner in crime softly as they watched the blonde haired teenager as she sat down on a ledge on the outcrop, snacking on a ration bar. The other man, Isamu nodded.

"Yeah…" he began, "there aren't a lot of people who aren't from Kaze no Kuni who know about it; but everyone in Kaze no Kuni has heard the tale. Supposedly four hundred or so years ago; a demon came down from the sky, possibly from past the stars; and started destroying everything in sight. The priests and priestesses couldn't stop the demon, not by themselves anyway. A couple members of the Senju clan, who were recuperating after a bloody battle with two other clans; came across the demon and assisted the priests and priestesses in sealing the demon away." Isamu shook his head; "Some people say that there isn't a demon sealed away there, but then; those people don't realize that this area was originally a region where a Daimyo and his armies set up a city over four hundred years ago. The demon came down and destroyed it within minutes, the daimyo and his armies included…If you're lucky, you might be able to find a spearhead or a piece of armor or something lying under the sand."

"So, if there's a demon sealed in that rock, then why is she up there?" Hitoshi asked. Isamu shrugged.

"She could be a Fuuinjutsu specialist." Hitoshi narrowed his eyes in confusion. "A seal specialist. She'd be able to tell if the seals are damaged or something like that."

"Kind'a young isn't she?" Hitoshi commented. "You know, for something like that." Isamu shrugged.

"Yeah, well, kunoichi are ninja; and ninja are trained from early ages in stuff like that." Hitoshi nodded. "Anyway, let's wait for her to come down from there before we go after her. I don't want to accidentally wake the demon up."

00oo00

From her place on one of the ledges on the rocky outcrop, Temari could easily see the two men out of the corner of her eyes. They way they were staring at her meant that they were planning on one of two things: kidnapping or rape. She sighed a contempt sounding sigh. They weren't the first people who wanted to either kidnap or rape her. Such was the life of a kunoichi. No matter where she went, unless Gaara or Baki were there with her; men young and old stared at her, and some even made motions.

'_One of them knows about this place…'_ that was the only explanation for why they hadn't tried to do anything to her yet. From this distance, she couldn't tell who they were; but from the way they hid, she knew that they weren't ninja. _'Just a couple of disgusting sleaze balls.'_ Looking back at her ration bar, which would only take a few more seconds to polish off; the blonde pursed her lips before rolling her eyes. Pushing herself up and on to her feet, Temari popped the last bit of her ration bar into her mouth and placed the wrapper just under the lip of her satchel and grabbed at a small scroll tucked away between her red sash and her lavender battle dress. Fiddling with the scroll for a second, she opened the scroll and bit her right thumb, hard enough to draw blood; before swiping it across the scroll. After running through some hand seals, the blonde girl placed the scroll on the rocky floor beneath her. After a plume of white smoke appeared and dissipated, a large folded battle fan appeared.

Tucking the scroll back between her sash and her battle dress, Temari grabbed hold of her battle fan and unfolded it expertly. After smirking at the two men below hiding amongst the sand dunes, Temari jumped into the air, placing her giant battle fan underneath of her body; landing on it and then began to float away from the rocky outcrop.

Down below, hiding amongst the dunes, the two men; Hitoshi and Isamu, gawked at the floating teenager. "…Seriously?!" Hitoshi complained as the girl floated towards the west, back towards Sunagakure. "We spent all this time waiting for her and she goes and _floats_ away on a giant fan!?"

"Calm down Hitoshi." Isamu tried to placate his partner in crime. "We'll just go pick up some other kid."

"Yeah, and get a shit load of people on our tails…Great idea, Isamu." Hitoshi snapped. Pushing himself up from the sand Hitoshi began to walk towards the outcrop. Isamu's eyes widened.

"W-What are you doing?" he asked Hitoshi. Hitoshi didn't pause as he addressed Isamu.

"If Gatô-Sama wants something rare or valuable, then I'll get him something rare and valuable."

00oo00

"I don't believe it! There isn't one damn thing here that'll interest Gatô-Sama!" Hitoshi snarled as he glared around the internal portion of the shrine. Seeing a small wooden structure sitting on a rock; Hitoshi narrowed his eyes and brought his right foot up kicked it, breaking the small wooden structure. As the pieces of wood fell to the ground beneath it, a low grumbling noise could be heard from deep within the rock; a noise that stilled Hitoshi's anger, body and heart.

His eyes wide in fear, the man slowly turned around and found a large crevice that was not there minutes earlier. Gulping, Hitoshi slowly took a step away from it. A pair of glowing dark purple eyes sprang to life from within the crevice. Hitoshi felt something wet and warm streaming down his legs. From out of the crevice, came a gnarled figure with glowing dark purple eyes and long gray hair. It moved slowly and its breathing sounded like someone was dragging a metal container across concrete.

"…AAAHH!" Hitoshi screamed loudly as he turned to flee from the mobile corpse. By the time Hitoshi had taken seven dashing steps away from the living dead, the mobile corpse had one of its arms stretched out towards him, an orb of glowing purple energy aimed at the man's back…

00oo00

Isamu waited outside of the outcrop, behind the same dune that he and his comrade hid from the kunoichi; while Hitoshi went to raid the shrine. Isamu didn't know why, but there was this feeling that had wormed its way into the pit of his stomach as he waited for his friend to come back; a feeling that told him to turn and run away as fast as he could and not to look back. He gulped.

Suddenly, from the outcrop; came a shriek of absolute terror. Isamu's head and eyes snapped to the entrance of the tunnel that led to the internal shrine. Hitoshi jumped out of the entrance and had just begun to turn towards the stairwell, when a flash of sickly purple energy erupted from the tunnel, slamming into Hitoshi and disintegrating him in an instant. Isamu felt his lower jaw drop and he knew now that the feeling in his stomach had been an internal alarm of sorts; warning him to turn and run. Knowing that he would probably die, the man turned and ran anyway; in a valiant hope to get away and warn somebody that the demon that had been sealed away for four hundred years; had been awakened.

00oo00

The mobile corpse of the demon stepped out into the desert sun and squinted its eyes slightly as it looked around for the person who had awoken it. Seeing nothing but a pile of ashes, the corpse frowned. As it frowned, the skin around its face slowly started to inflate, pushing the flesh away from its jaw bones and facial bones. Color also started to return to the skin. After a few minutes of standing in the sunlight, frowning at the lack of people to kill; the corpse looked like a regular teenage boy of about seventeen years old…a regular teenage boy of about seventeen years old and a long, brown monkey tail sticking out of its body, right above the crack of his butt.

The newly risen boy looked around at the ledge he had stepped out to on and found something shining at the edge to his right. Walking over to it stiffly, the boy found that the shining object was a wrapper…A wrapper that reeked of food…and of a female human.

Sniffing the air around the area, the human like creature looked off towards the west and smirked. Bending his legs slightly, the boy jumped up into the air and began to fly through the air towards the smell of the female human.

00oo00

Temari sighed as she walked through the front door to her family's house. After returning from the shrine, she had to report to the Elders and the Kazekage; her Father. After receiving her payment for 'aiding' the village; she left for home. Now that she was there, she had nothing left to do for the entire day…Other than appeasing her youngest brother so he wouldn't kill her. But that was actually fairly easy. All she had to do was stay out of his way and have dinner ready at supper time…and keep Kankuro from annoying him…Okay, so the last part could be challenging; but Kankuro knew the prices of being annoying around Gaara. Other than that, she had absolutely nothing to do.

'_Maybe I'll go out and train for a while.'_ She told herself.

00oo00  
An Hour Later  
00oo00

Panting from exhaustion, the blonde girl folded her fan up after leveling the training field. When she had first arrived the field was covered in small sand dunes. Now, there were only a few small piles near the corners of the field and nothing more.

_Jingle!_

Temari's head snapped up and to her right, fan at the ready. Her heart pounded in her ears as she looked for the source of the sound. It took her a few moments to find it in the form of a small kitten who was sitting near the eastern edge of the training field, scratching its collar; which had attached to it, a small silver bell. Letting out a sigh of relief, the girl let her guard down slightly. Taking a step towards the kitten, she held out a hand to it; "Tsk, tsk, tsk! Here, kitty, kitty, kitty!" she called to it. The kitten in question look up at her and jumped up to its feet, crouched low in a defensive stance. "I'm not going to hurt you…" Temari told the small animal. The kitten didn't understand and yowled threateningly. Temari paused when the kitten opened its small mouth wide and hissed at her. Frowning, Temari stood up straight and backed away from the kitten.

As soon as she backed away from the small animal, the kitten lets its back drop into a comfortable position and took a step towards her, studying her. She began to bend over again, which instantly set the kitten in a defensive flee-or-die state of mind and turned around and started to run…before it vanished into thin air. Instantly on guard, Temari brought her hands together and summoned some chakra. "Kai!" she hissed quietly. Nothing happened. Summoning more chakra, she tried again; only to be met with the same results.

"Who's there?!" she shouted. A male voice responded to her question.

"You are good, aren't you?" it stated. "Most people don't figure out I'm here until _after_ I've killed them." Temari unfolded her fan and looked around her person. She still couldn't see her would be attacker. "But, then again; I wasn't going to thank my other victims for setting me free before I killed them either…"

"Set you free? Me?" Temari asked. There was s light, amused chuckle that filled the air.

"Of course…You were the one who ruined one of the suppression seals…The other fool who entered the shrine after you left finished the job, but you were the one who started it. For that, I must thank you; girl." Temari's eyes widened.

"S-Shrine?" the air in front of her shimmered slightly, causing the girl to jump back away from it; and a tall blonde boy appeared, wearing some of the oddest clothes that she had ever seen. The boy had long blonde hair, slightly spiky; and dark purple eyes that pierced through her soul and a long brown monkey tail that was attached near his tailbone. "Y-You're the-"

"Demon?" the blonde asked. Temari nodded hesitantly. The blonde boy smirked. Shrugging he took at step towards her; "I suppose to your species demon would be somewhat accurate identification." Temari gulped as a nervous, terror filled sweat started dripping down her back and face. The boy in front of her took in a deep breath and his smirk turned into a fanged smile. "Ahh…I love the smell of terror in the morning!" the blonde in front of Temari lifted up off the ground and looked down at her before opening his right palm. A small orb of sickly purple energy sprang to life. Closing his hand around the ball of energy; a sword formed, a small bead of energy underneath the blonde's hand and the blade above his fist. "But please, don't let that stop you from giving me a workout!" with that, the blonde raced towards her…

…Only to have the blonde haired girl swing her giant fan like a golf club, creating a gale force wind that blew directly towards and slammed into the blonde demon. The blonde demon, who did not expect that the girl was capable of creating such an attack; lost control and flew backwards several yards before crashing hard into the sand. Temari stared at the demon momentarily before mentally slapping herself. _'I need to get out of here!'_ the village-one of the Elders or quite possibly one of the Grand Elders knew of a way to stop the demon…She just had to reach one of them before the demon killed her…

00oo00

Baki found it odd that his eldest pupil leapt passed him without so much as a 'Hello'. What was even more odd, was the fact that her face was full of terror and her battle fan was out and unfolded. _'Gaara isn't rampaging about…'_ had someone tried to attack her? If so, then she might need help. Turning on his heel, the Jounin Sensei of the Subaku siblings; chased after his eldest pupil.

As he raced after his student, Baki barely realized that directly to his left, was a tall blonde male with a monkey tail chasing after his student as well. He cast a sidelong glance at the boy before his brain realized what he was looking at. A hanyou.

Hanyous, or half-demons; hadn't been around for hundreds of years-or, if they were still around; then they wizened up and stayed out of sight; so seeing one in person both thrilled Baki…and scared him greatly. Especially since this one had its sights on his pupil. Creating a couple of hand seals, the Suna Jounin creating a nearly invisible blade of wind chakra and quickly lunged at the blonde hanyou. His sudden attack caught the hanyou off guard, and his blade of wind chakra lopped the hanyou's right arm clean off of his body. The blonde hanyou looked at Baki before stopping in his tracks. Baki followed the hanyou's example and stopped a few feet in front of the hanyou.

"You're good." The hanyou complemented, not the least bit concerned about the fact that he just lost his right arm. The hanyou reached his left arm over and covered the wound with his left hand. For a split second, Baki wondered if the hanyou was giving up in favor of not being killed…But that thought was quickly squashed as the hanyou suddenly lashed out at the Jounin with his right hand; which had regenerated. "…But I'm better." A blade of sickly looking purple energy sprang to life in the hanyou's right palm and passed within centimeters of Baki's scalp. The Jounin gulped. "Much better."

00oo00

If Temari weren't running for her life, she might have stopped, hugged and kissed the Kazekage Tower when she reached the entrance. She was moments away from getting help to do away with the demon. As she placed her hand on the handle, she pulled the door outwards and quickly stepped inside. Looking around for the secretary, she found the woman staring mindlessly at a fashion magazine; slowly flipping the pages forward, each time licking her right forefinger and thumb before turning the pages. Temari ran over to the woman and slammed a hand down on the counter. The force of her open hand slamming against the countertop was enough to crack the hard wood desk…but amazingly; the secretary didn't look at her. She didn't even _flinch!_

'_Just looking at a picture of an ant makes her flinch…'_ Temari told herself; _'Something's wrong here…'_ She looked around furiously for the demon. A slow, but amused clapping filled her ears.

_Clap…clap…clap…clap…clap…clap…clap…_

"Oh-Ho!" the demon's voice filled the Tower. "You are a smart one, aren't you?" If her life weren't threatened, the blonde Genin might have blushed from the complement…However, her life _was_ being threatened. "It's a shame I have to kill you, you know…If we had met under…different circumstances…Who knows…" the tone in the demon's voice was husky and sultry. A shiver ran up and down Temari's spine. "But, you are my enemy…And enemies are, of course; obstacles…and everyone knows that obstacles are for…destroying!" from her left, a ball of purple energy flew towards her position. Jumping back, the blonde girl saw firsthand what kind of destruction the demon could create if it was toying around with her. The ball of purple energy impacted against the wooden floor and blew a five foot area of wood, sandstone and sand away; leaving only a smoldering crater, outlined in glass.

'_If the demon wasn't playing with me, then I would have been killed much earlier.'_ The blonde girl told herself. Noting something was again wrong; she looked back at the secretary. Her magazine had been flash fried, but yet the woman still continued to flip the now singed pages; the same bored expression on her face that she had always had.

"Would you like to know why she's not responding to anything, including me?" the demon asked, appearing right next to Temari, no energy weapons in his hands; but still, the blonde girl moved away. "You see, everyone in this village is under my spell…My illusion, if you will. They only hear, feel, see, smell and taste what I want them to…And each and every one of them is in their own personal fantasy world…All except two people…You, and the man who lost this eye…Baka, I think he called himself…" Temari's face paled as she stared at the eyeball in the blonde haired demon's left hand.

'_Baki-Sensei!?'_ he had already run into and defeated Baki-Sensei!? _'Not good…Why couldn't the Kazekage just have sent Gaara out to do that stupid mission?! Why?!'_ Suddenly, an idea flashed through her mind. _'Gaara!'_ no one was stronger than Gaara…With his ultimate defense and the ability to control the very sands beneath their feets; Gaara was the strongest person in all of Kaze no Kuni. _'If anyone can take this demon out, it's Gaara!'_ She turned to head home, only to run head long into the blonde demon's out stretched hands. He caught her by her shoulders and slowly picked her up off the ground, until her feet were several inches off the sands below her.

"And where…do you think you're going?" the demon asked. "I didn't say you could leave, did I?" Temari gulped loudly, her eyes widened in fear and pure unadulterated terror. Sweat trickled down her forehead, neck, back, chest, stomach, legs and buttocks. She nearly let go of all her senses… "That's it?" the demon asked, surprising the blonde haired girl. "You fling me through the air, speed off to find help, but as soon as I cut off all of your options; you give up?" Temari felt the demon's grip on her shoulders lessen and suddenly, without warning; she felt herself falling to the ground. As she landed on her rear end; harshly, she pushed herself away from the demon in front of her. His joyous, very much insane grin was gone; and an angry and very disappointed frown had enveloped his face. "Pathetic." He growled. "What happened to the strong, relentless priests, priestesses and warriors that entombed me oh so long ago?"

'_W-Wha?'_ the Genin asked herself as she demon began to walk around in circles, muttering words that may or may not be curse words to himself. Was the demon really upset that she wasn't on par with the priests and priestesses of old? _'What am I thinking?!'_ she berated herself, shaking her head violently. _'He's giving me the chance to flee and I'm sitting here wondering why he doesn't want to kill me anymore?'_ She quickly, though shakily; pushed herself up onto her feet. Eyeing her fan, she slowly made her way to it.

"Four hundred years on this stinking hunk of rotten rock and algae and all I get as a wake up gift is one grave robber and a puny little girl?! What kind of a wake up present is that?!"

Temari felt her eye twitch. _'Puny little girl?'_ Demon or not, she hadn't worked her ass off for most of her life as a kunoichi to be told that she was a weak little girl. Oh no. Forgetting her fear and terror, and even her confusion; the sandy haired girl stomped over to her fan and picked it up. Turning towards the pacing demon in front of her, she flipped it open and gathered her chakra. Blind with fury and an unbridled rage that only a female could possess; glared harshly at the demon before opening her mouth. "I'll show you who's a puny little girl!"

The blonde haired, purple eyed, monkey tailed demon stopped pacing back and forth and looked at Temari. His purple eyes stared at her oddly, as if wondering what he had said to tick her off; before the girl swung her fan. _**"Kuchiyose: Kirikiri Mai!"**_ From the one swing of the girl's giant fan, came a wind storm much, much stronger than the one the girl had conjured against the demon earlier. As the wind slammed into the demon, hundreds upon hundreds of lacerations appeared all over the blonde demon's body.

Closing his purple eyes in pain, the demon brought his arms down in front of his face and chest to help protect himself from the winds and invisible knives. As he hunkered down, the sound of a slightly high pitched voice entered his ears momentarily. _"Cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut! Spin, spin, spin, spin, spin, spin! Cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut! Cut, spin, cut! Slice him to ribbons!"_ It wasn't the girl's voice, hers' was deeper than the high pitched voice hidden amongst the winds; but it certainly held power within it. Cracking one eye open, the blonde demon spotted the long, slender body of a white bodied animal, holding a sickle weapon in one of its forepaws spinning at an incredible speed. Then, as soon as it had appeared, the animal vanished, though its strikes did not.

…Two seconds after the animal vanished, the demon felt something detach from right above his buttocks.

Purple eyes opened wide as the sudden loss of balance left him. Stumbling to the ground, through the shower of cuts and wounds and high winds; the demon heard the odd animal-creature laughing at him. _"One small cut, and the demon falls down! One small cut, and the demon falls down! Chichichichi!"_

Eyeing the blonde haired demon as he fell to the ground, Temari straightened her body ever so slightly. Kamaitachi, the summon sealed within her Mother's fan; the fan she had been given as a gift when she was a child to remember her by, had sliced off the demon's monkey like tail off of his body. The reaction was almost instantaneous. She took great pleasure in watching the demon fall to the ground. Flicking her fan once more, Kamaitachi soared back to her fan and pressed himself within its folds incase he was needed once more as Temari walked towards the fallen demon.

"Not so weak now, am I?" she asked haughtily. The blonde haired demon turned his head towards her and glared up at her balefully. It was such a hateful look, full of anger and malice; on par if not more so than when Gaara gave her a warning glance; that it almost took her back…But, her victory; as small as it was, drover her ego…and her ego drove her to crone. "You look down there…Maybe I'll skin you and keep your pelt as a rug, just so I can see you every day and relive the moment that I killed you…Or, maybe I'll just keep your head, and use it to scare my enemies later on in life."

"As soon as I get up, you're dead! You hear me? DEAD!" the demon shouted. Temari flicked him off. Purple eyes twitching like mad, the demon brought out his right hand and aimed it in her direction. Powering up a purple orb of energy in his hand, he fired it at her…only for it to swerve off towards the girl's left before it even reached her; impacting against a building behind her, blowing up in a ball of flames, sand and dust. Several more followed suit, and like the first one; they all flew by her harmlessly. Temari's smirk grew and grew.

"Looks like you can't do much without your tail." She teased the demon. Taking a step towards the demon's fallen limb, she swung her hips to add insult to injury. She didn't stop walking towards him until she had passed by his body and reached down to pick the tail up. As soon as her hand wrapped around the brown appendage, the girl looked up to tease the demon with it, only to see a glowing orb of energy zing by her face. The attack shocked her out of her haughty state of mind, and she looked directly into the demon's dark purple eyes.

"_**PRAY TO WHATEVER GODS YOU PRAY TO, GIRL; THAT YOU NEVER SEE ME AGAIN, BECAUSE IF YOU DO, YOU WON'T LIVE LONG ENOUGH TO CALL FOR AIDE FROM THAT RODENT THAT'S HIDING IN YOUR FAN!"**_ with that, the demon faded away; leaving a bloodied and broken portion of the village for the world to see. Temari felt the weight of the tail in her hand disappear; looking at it, she noticed that it had already begun to fade away. Taking a step away from the scene of the fight, Temari began to turn around; her destination had changed for home, only to find a tall and imposing figure looking down at her.

"Temari…"

"…Tou-Sa; I mean, Kazekage-Sama!"

End

* * *

Alright, this one isn't really a challenge per say, but if you want to take a crack at it, by all means; go ahead.

For those of you who don't know what's going on here, this is was an attempt at making a Naruto/Tenchi Muyo story that I had started a long time ago and, sadly enough; when I got my new-now inoperable-laptop; I forgot about. However, I re-discovered it recently when my new-now inoperable-laptop overheated and forced me to use my old one while I wait and see if there's any way to both get a stripped screw out of the backing of my other laptop so I can check on the fan and possibly replace it. I really hope so, because I have a really good Puppeteer Naruto story in the works on it…And it'd be nigh impossible to re-write anywhere else.

Anyway, this is just something that seemed sort of complete enough to post, so I decided to throw it up here. In this story, as with all of the other starts to this crossover, Naruto was intended to be the son of Hakubi Washu, lost to time and space, far from his sister Ryoko and landed on Ibonihs(Shinobi backwards-also, I didn't think of the name for the planet, someone else did, I'm just borrowing it.) In this version of the story, he was sealed away, much like Ryoko was in the Tenchi Muyo series.


	7. The Foxy Turtle Pupil

The Foxy Turtle Pupil

* * *

As a Jounin ranked shinobi; there wasn't much left in the world that honestly puzzled Sarutobi Asuma, but there were a few exceptions…And what he, as well as his new Genin team; playing witness to was both borderline puzzling, confusing as well as child abuse in every meaning of the word. In front of his team, who were on their way to Tanzaku no Gai to deliver a 'Secret Recipe' to a friend of the somewhat infamous Ichiraku Ramen stand owner, Teuchi; were a pair of preteens about the same age as his students, maybe a bit older; running at what would be considered a 'break neck' pace if they weren't tied to an extremely large orange turtle shell where a very old man sat on top; holding a small gnarled cane in one hand and a whip in the other. He glanced down at his students and found their eyes glued to the insane scene that played out in front of them as the two boys pulled the shell and plowed the earth in wake of the obscenely large shell.

"Please tell me I'm not seeing things…" The remark came from Asuma's only female student, Yamanaka Ino; as she pointed lamely at the sight. Nara Shikamaru, the boy to Ino's left with brown hair done up in a pineapple styled hairdo; shook his head.

"…Not even in my stupidest dreams…" he commented. To his left, a rather husky boy nodded, his right hand stuck inside of a potato chip bag, his fingers playing with the edges of the boiled edges of the chips.

"Faster!" the elderly man on top of the turtle shell barked as he cracked the whip in the air, causing the two preteens to jump slightly. "Faster! I want to be near the hot springs by four! Any slower and any honeys in the springs will turn in to old hags!" He cracked the whip two more times, generating the same effect from the two boys who began to pull even harder and faster; which, if one calculated their speed; changed from a mere two miles an hour, to maybe two and a half miles an hour. Not much of an increase, Asuma noted; but from the way the elderly man on top of the shell brought his whip back down to his sides and let it rest against the large shell before picking up a can of what could only be cheap beer; and brought it to his mustache hidden lips.

"Should we do something, Asuma-Sensei?" the husky boy asked as he shoved a chip in his mouth. Looking down at the boy, the Jounin shook his head.

"It's not our problem, Chouji." He stated. "They're not harming anyone-other than maybe themselves-and while we do have authority to arrest people this far out, it's best to leave it to the local authorities. If _they_ think that it's a problem, they'll interfere. Our objective is deliver this to Teuchi-San's friend." He looked back at the large shell, which had now moved toward Tanzaku no Gai's direction; and smiled slightly. "However, if you're really worried; Chouji, they're headed toward Tanzaku-same as we are-and considering we'll be here for a few days after we meet with Teuchi-San's friend; you'll probably run into them at least once…Gods know that something as out of place as a giant turtle shell should be easy to identify." Chouji thought about it for a moment before nodding and stuffing another small handful of chips into his mouth.

-o-

"…M…Master Roshi…" A small, blonde haired boy with six thin whisker marks that graced his face; three per cheek, panted as he and his comrade in torture pulled the large orange turtle shell that their Master had tied to for their new, odd exercise in front of the hot springs. "W…We're here…Guh!" With whatever remaining portion of energy the blonde had, he crumpled to the ground, his chin colliding with the hard earth; though it didn't seem to affect the boy any. His bald headed companion mirrored his action and fell to the ground beside him, panting like crazy.

From atop his orange perch, the elderly man looked around the shell. It was a large shell, one that he had found before he started taking in students-like the Ox King, who proved to be as strong as several oxen as he pulled the shell tied to his person at a good ten miles an hour or so-which weighed in at about seven hundred pounds. Placing the whip that sat next to him in a small pill like capsule, along with his two remaining cans of beer, the elderly man sealed them away and stood up with the aid of his cane. Placing a hand over his eyes, like a periscope breaching the waves to allow submariners to see above their location; the man blocked out both sun and stray annoyances as he zoned in for the one thing in the world that he wanted more than pupil: Women…Hot, young and hopefully horny women who were more interested in the amount of zeni he had rather than how old he was. Gold digger or no, he was still a red blooded male and he had his needs; and didn't care how they were taken care of.

As he scanned the area, somehow evading several of the women in the hot springs already, who could; if they ever decided to look 'up', see him; the short Master sighed tiredly and started to shake his head. "Looks like the trip here was all for not, my boys." He grunted and sat back down. "Not even as attractive as Bulma…Of course, after seeing what I saw; it's pretty hard to beat what I saw…Hehe! The carpet definitely matched the drapes! Yowza!" He stared down as his two pupils and realized that out of the two of them, only one understood what he was talking about; but was far too tired to weigh in on the conversation. "Any who…" he grunted; "since we're here, you two might as well take a bath or something while I go rent a room for the next few days…Then, if you two aren't too pooped; we'll train a bit more before bed. That sound good to you?"

The blonde looked at the bald headed boy and the two shared a look. After nearly a minute of silent, nonexistent conversation; the two boys turned back and looked up at their ancient Master and nodded. "Great!" Roshi chirped. "You two get up and go in the springs and I'll pack up and go look for a room…Maybe I'll be able to find a phone around here as well; I'd like to check up on a certain someone and see how he's doing."

As the diminutive Master walked off toward the middle of town, following the large six foot wide path of upturned earth; the two preteens looked at each other, exhaustion written clearly on their faces. "Who's Bulma?" the blonde asked the bald headed boy.

The bald headed boy panted and smacked his lips a couple of times before answering the blonde's question, "Bulma…" he started, panting a few more times as he waited for his lungs to stop heaving and convulsing; "…she's an okay looking girl a few years older than us…She came with Goku, who left three months before you showed up. I don't know much about her because I didn't really talk to her too much, but from what Master Roshi said, Bulma is fairly smart but really slutty…Flashed him once for something called a 'Dragon Ball'…Showed him her tits…as well as her other part."

"…Girls have another part?" the blonde asked, greatly confused by his bald friend's words. The bald boy resisted the urge to smack his forehead with his hand, if only just.

"You know how we men have penises?" The bald boy started, earning a nod from the blonde. "Well, girls have a part down there too, only it's not a penis…It's…" he paused, trying to find the words to describe a part that he had only seen once or twice in the nudie magazines he brought Master Roshi before the man had agreed to train him."It's hard to describe…" Words failed him. "You know what? It's not a penis, okay? Let's just leave it at that for now…"

"…So…Girls don't have penises?" the blonde recapped. The bald boy at his side nodded. "…So that's why they're so angry all the time! They don't have a fire hose to play with!"

_Smack!_

This time, his bald headed comrade _did_ slap his forehead.

"Yes, Naruto; that's why they're so angry all the time…Because they don't have a fire hose to play with…"

"That explains so much, Krillin!"

'_Yup…Almost exactly like Goku…Actually maybe a bit dumber…'_ Then again, both Goku and Naruto had similar backgrounds. They both lived alone before making it to Roshi's island and had no one to answer their questions. He nodded to himself, the reason why Naruto and Goku were idiots was because they had no parental guidance of any kind. Hopefully, now that Naruto was training under Master Roshi; he would actually learn something.

-o-

Asuma and his three pupils roamed about Tanzaku no Gai aimlessly. They had completed their mission objectives surprisingly early, having run into the man as he stared oddly at the six foot wide and half foot deep gouge that now graced the main street of Tanzaku no Gai. Having delivered the goods and getting a bonus from the man; a free bowl of ramen that evening for their services, he had left it up to his team to decide how they should spend the rest of the day…And Chouji, seconded by Ino of all people; decided to follow the large trail that could have only been made by the two preteens they had seen pulling the diminutive man atop the large orange turtle shell earlier that afternoon.

So far, they had been following the trail for half an hour and had found nothing but awed citizens as well as miffed city officials. Thankfully none of them had tried to come after his squad…Yet.

"Hey, Sensei!" Shikamaru barked out quietly from his left. Glancing down at the boy, he silently asked him to continue; "Over there, by the electronic shop…" Asuma, as well as Chouji and Ino; followed the brown haired boy's hint and found themselves staring at a small shop, filled to the brim with the brand new televisions that had been slowly imported from lands outside of their own continent over the last few years. But it wasn't the amount of televisions the shop had in the window, all playing the same thing in unison; nor the sheer size of two of the electronic devices that got their attention. No, it was the short man holding a gnarled staff in his right hand, doing exercises in tandem with the women on the television screens on the opposite side of the glass window. Behind the man, and even behind the televisions in the shop; a small crowd had formed as they watched the man exercise.

"That's the man from before, on the turtle shell!" Chouji spat out helpfully, pointing at the man as he raised his right leg and then put it back down on the ground; only to lift it up again.

"I don't see those two boys around anywhere…" Ino added, having looked around at the small crowd that had formed around the man as he giggled whenever the women on the screen lifted their legs in a particular direction-one that allowed people to see a bit _too_ much of their figure through their spandex workout clothes. Thankfully, she chose to ignore that small fact. "Where do you think they are?"

"If they were smart, nowhere near that guy." Shikamaru grunted as he pointed out a few yakuza like thugs, four in total; stalking towards the elderly man, sneers and frowns plastered on their faces.

"Oi!" the lead man shouted as he pushed his way through the crowd, not caring who he assaulted. The diminutive man ignored him and continued giggling perversely as he exercised. "Hey! Listen to me when I talk to you, you old fuck!" the younger man snarled as he grabbed hold of the smaller, elderly man's left shoulder, in an attempt to spin him around to face him. What he received was the elderly man's left leg spring upward in perfect tandem with the ladies on the television, catching him directly in his stomach; sending him flying backward through the crowd of people before slamming _through_ a stone wall. The three remaining thugs paused for half a second as they traced the trajectory of their now fallen comrade and then back to the elderly man who continued to ignore them in favor of exercising with the ladies on the television. Two of them pulled out knives.

"Get ready." Asuma told his squad as he brought his hands back toward his weapon pouch, grabbing at his trench knives. His squad followed suit and slowly slunk into defensive stances.

"You Bastard!" one of the armed men shouted as he ran for the elderly man, knife ready to sink into the man's right flank. Suddenly, less than half a foot away from the man's flank, the elderly man's staff swung itself over the man's shoulder and connected with the yakuza member's skull, sending him crumpling to the ground in an unconscious heap. Asuma and Team Ten watched in stunned silence as the elderly man turned around slowly, a frown set upon his face.

"…You know, there's not much in this world that makes me angry…" the diminutive man began, his eyebrows furrowing above his sunglasses as he placed both hands atop his staff, ignoring the video behind him for the time being. "But there are a few things that really make me steamed…And attacking a poor, innocent elderly man while he's busy enjoying one of his favorite television programs is one of them!"

"Innocent?" the only non-combative member of the yakuza group asked from his position. "You ruined the streets with that damned turtle shell of yours!" he seethed. "Right in front of my establishment too!" he pointed at the man before continuing, "You and your little slaves ruined my establishment! And now, all of you are going to pay for it!" he tossed his coat off of his shoulders and stuck his hands into his pants pockets. After a brief fiddling around, he pulled his hands out and revealed the pair of bronze knuckles resting around his fingers before taking a stance. "I've already sent out a bunch of my guys after those little slaves of yours, Fool!" he taunted the elderly man. "They'll be mine by dinner, hehe!"

"Slaves?" the elderly man asked, clearly confused by the yakuza's words. "I'm afraid I have no clue what you're talking about. I don't have any slaves, it's illegal to own slaves in this day and age; don't you know that?" his words baffled not only the yakuza members but the rest of the crowd as well. The fact also rested upon Asuma's mind as well.

'_Slavery is frowned upon, but it's not illegal…'_ he told himself, preparing to move in and stop the yakuza member if needed.

"Since when has slavery been illegal?" the yakuza boss like man barked out, snickering slightly. "The Hyuuga clan in Konohagakure uses slavery on their family members and they're treated like damned royalty!" Asuma felt his eye twitch at the slight aimed at his village; but otherwise ignored it.

"Well, one of the largest countries to abolish slavery, though not the first one to do so; was the United States of America, several centuries ago. And though there are still those who believe that slavery should still be a common place, it is illegal in most countries around the globe to own another person. It has, since then though; fallen out of practice and shunned by many different countries." The elderly man stated.

Asuma had never heard of 'The United States of America' before, and filed the information away for a later date. Glancing down at Shikamaru, he could tell that the younger boy had never heard of such a place either. _'…I guess I'll have to ask Dad if he's ever heard of such a place before.'_

"Anyway, those boys aren't my slaves…" the elderly man began, "they are my pupils!"

"Pupils?" the other yakuza member asked. "Pupils of what?"

"My martial arts school, of course." The elderly man informed the knife wielding man, his voice turning slightly colder than it had been for the entire conversation.

"You a Master of martial arts, eh?" the lead member of the yakuza muttered, earning a nod from the elderly man. "Well then, I guess it's fair to warn you, Old Geezer; that I was a Chuunin back when I was a member of Iwagakure's shinobi corps!"

While the comment flew over the elderly man's head, the meaning of the younger man's words affected everyone else. The people who had gathered around began to look from the younger man to his single conscious comrade and then back at the elderly man for a split second before they began to slowly, but surely; retreat.

Team 10 on the other hand, stared at the Nuke-Nin with varying expressions. Ino and Chouji stared at the man with slight fear a lit in their eyes, Shikamaru looked at him with a nearly blank expression, trying to read the man. Asuma…Asuma gripped his knives harder and began to move forward just as the other man lunged at the elderly martial arts master.

The Nuke-Nin threw a metal braced punch at the elderly man, with enough force to easily shatter the support column of a small house with one blow; aimed directly at the man's nose. Asuma made to move forward, to take the man from behind; when the man's assault came to an abrupt halt.

"W-What?!" the man grunted in shock. He looked down at his fist and found that the diminutive man had stopped his punch, halting his assault with nothing more than his _pinky!_

"You're strong for a normal thug, I'll give you that much, boy." The elderly man muttered softly as he kept his right pinky connected with the Nuke-Nin's fist. "But my newest pupil, Naruto; who happens to be my weakest student at this point in time; though that will most assuredly change soon, could beat you without trouble." The Nuke-Nin growled at the rickety old codger and made to kick at him with his left leg, hoping to catch the man upside the head with his foot. His blow connected, nailing the elderly man's head. He smirked, waiting for the man to groan and fall to the ground.

…It never happened. Color draining from his face, the man realized that the old man in front of him was much, much tougher than he realized. "That almost tickled." The man graced the Nuke-Nin with his opinion. "Here, let me show you how a proper kick is orchestrated…"

Asuma waited for the elderly man to jump up and unleash a spin kick to the Ex-Iwa-Nin's head, payback as well as a lesson that the elderly man had promised to show him. He was not, however; expecting the elderly man to raise his left leg up so fast that he couldn't even see it move until the man's foot had planted itself in the man's lower stomach. Apparently, neither could the Nuke-Nin or his only conscious lackey as the Nuke-Nin flew several feet into the air before crashing down, butt first; on the hard, dirt road. There was a loud cracking noise; sickening noise that emitted from the fallen man's rear-end.

"A-HAH!" the man cried painfully as he grabbed for his butt.

"Aniki!" the single uninjured yakuza thug cried out as he rushed to his boss's side.

"Maybe I was wrong." The elderly man grunted as he watched the Nuke-Nin flounder on the ground as his buddy tried to help him up, using his shoulder as an impromptu crutch. Asuma glanced at the elderly man and watched him nod slowly but wisely. "…Weaker than I thought." He took a step toward the Nuke-Nin slowly, using his cane as a walking stick for once. "I hope, for your friends' sakes that they're tougher than you are, because my pupils don't know how to control their strength nearly as well as I do."

-o-

The hot springs were exactly the kind of place Master Roshi would have set up his house for eons and eons, Krillin told himself as he sat on the edge of the mixed bathing portion of the hot spring. Off to his left, and very quickly floating directly in front of him; was Naruto, floating on his back to-and-fro in the hot spring, with nothing but a small white towel draped over his 'fire hose' as the blonde liked to call it. Despite the fact that his new friend was essentially showing him his junk, if it weren't for the towel that hide it away from the world; it was very relaxing…Of course, it could have also been the fact that minutes after he and Naruto had entered the spring, several attractive women entered; quickly dismissing the fact that there were two short boys almost naked in the spring already before climbing into the spring before taking their towels off and hanging them behind them as they soaked and gossiped.

'_Naked women, the most beautiful things in the world'_; the bald monk told himself as he kept a carefully hidden eye on different women as they talked and soaked. They were good looking to be sure, Master Roshi would have probably died of blood loss. He, of course; was a few rungs higher on the ladder; able to hide his excitement better than his martial arts Master.

"Come on, Shizune!" a slightly older, but still feminine voice boomed from behind Krillin, causing him to turn around and look at whomever was coming toward the spring. He found himself nearly contradicting himself as he found a pair of gigantic breasts jiggling and wiggling as a vivacious blonde haired woman, with a small mark in the middle of her forehead; walked out of the changing hut. And if that wasn't enough; another woman, smaller in both height as well as in bust; but by no means any less attractive, came out holding a tiny pink pig in her arms. Both women were stunning; more so than the other women already in the spring.

'_If there were ever a time when Naruto's stupidity came in handy, it is now…'_ he told himself. Truth of the matter was that without Naruto blatantly running for the nearest, open spring; he wouldn't be seeing any of this. As he gazed up at the two women, he failed to notice the blonde woman turning her gaze to meet his.

"Something the matter, boyo?" she asked curtly. The woman's tone broke him out of his staring and blush lit his cheeks quicker than a red light blinking atop a police car when chasing a crook. He closed his eyes and smiled sheepishly for a second.

"I…" He began, trying to think of something to say that wouldn't sound too perverted or give away his thoughts about the two women. After several long seconds under the woman's glare, he gave up and bowed to her, his face resting only an inch above the water. "I'm sorry!"

"Well at least you have the decency to apologize, unlike other men." The woman relented before turning back to the water and picking out a small area on the far side of the spring where she and her friend would more than likely soak for their duration. "Come, Shizune…" the woman repeated to the brown haired woman behind her as she stepped into the spring. The brown haired woman followed the blonde and waded over to the other side of the spring, pink pig in her arms the entire time.

As the two women reached the other end of the spring, they sat down and, much like the other women; pulled their towels off…Well, the blonde did anyway. The brunette left hers draped around her body as she soaked, much to Krillin's carefully guarded dismay.

"Hey, Krillin…" Krillin resisted the urge to glare at his friend and sparring partner as he floated in front of the bald monk, in between the naked beauties and himself. "Do you think Master Roshi's found a phone yet?"

"Probably not." Krillin replied as coolly as he could despite being highly annoyed by the blonde haired preteen. "None of the other villages we've stopped at had one. Why would this place be any different?" Naruto shrugged, forcing water to dip down over his stomach and racing down toward the small, soaked towel that draped over his privates; thankfully the water tapered off near his naval and fell back into the spring.

"Doesn't he have a cell phone?" Naruto asked. Krillin pondered over the question for a second or two.

"…That conniving old coot…" he whispered to himself softly. "He _does_ have a cell phone!"

"So, if he has a cell phone; then what do you think he's doing all alone?"

"Probably trying to get some tail or something like that." Krillin grunted lowly, unknowingly earning all of the female's attention. "It's the same thing he always does whenever we go somewhere new to train. We pull him across the earth on one of his stupidly heavy turtle shells and he sits back and relaxes while cracking that whip of his and drinking beer. We come to a town or village and he goes off and resupplies on beer and the like while we clean up. He goes off to find some tail and we usually end up dealing with a bunch of crap that follows in his wake…"

"Oh…" Naruto replied slowly, taking in his friend's words. "…Like when that time when the mayor of that one village came after us because Master Roshi tried to pick his daughter's flower garden? Then we had to beat up the village guards because Master Roshi was too drunk to do anything?" Krillin nodded. "I thought that that was our training?"

"It _is_ our training, Naruto!" Krillin replied, slightly exasperated. "Master Roshi goes and does something stupid and we get left deal with the consequences of his actions!"

"…" Naruto didn't respond. Instead, he stared up at the sky and kicked his feet idly, pushing himself forward across the spring, oblivious to the fact that he had accidentally changed directions while talking to Krillin; and was now on a crash course with one of the naked women in the spring. Thinking about Master Roshi's training, if he could call it that now; he closed his eyes and pursed his lips. Less than five seconds after he closed his eyes, Naruto felt his head brushing up against something soft and fleshy. He opened his eyes instinctively and found himself staring up at the blonde haired woman who had scolded Krillin for ogling her earlier. "Hi!" he chirped, oblivious to the fact that his head was now resting between her breast as he stared up at her, large ocean blue eyes locking on to her dark amber colored eyes. "My name's Naruto! What's yours?"

"Having fun, boyo?" She asked irately as she stared down at the blonde. The blonde's next action both angered the blonde haired woman as well as bewildered her.

Cocking his head, rubbing against the woman's breasts as his head moved; the blonde haired boy actually began to _think_ the question over. The woman's eyes twitched as her companion and the small pig began to push away from her; the other women in the spring copying her as the boy pushed his luck to the extreme.

"Not really, no." the boy finally replied, shocking the women and earning a pained sigh from Krillin, who hung his head low. "Why, are you?"

"Not really, no." the woman replied tersely. The tone of her words had no effect on the blonde boy whatsoever. She raised her head to the bald boy and belted a question out at him. "What's wrong with this boy?" she asked as she pointed at Naruto. Krillin looked up and with a long, strained sigh, shook his head.

"Besides the fact that he's an uneducated orphan?" Krillin began, "Lots of mental trauma and scarring…And concussions…Can't forget the concussions." The blonde had been the _only_ person in the world to ever walk in on Launch in the bathroom when her Trigger Happy side was awake; and lived to tell the tale…Not that he actually remembered the tale. The blonde woman deflated slightly.

"Does he even care that he's essentially feeling me up?" Krillin shook his head.

"Nope." Came the monk's quick reply. "If I were you though, I'd think about either pushing him away, or drowning him.

"Why?"

"Because it's about supper time, and considering that we haven't had supper…or breakfast…or lunch in about two days and have been pulling a seven-hundred pound turtle shell across the country, he may mistake your breasts for marshmallows." The woman's face upturned into a scowl. "Seriously," Krillin insisted, bringing his small hands up to defend himself if needed; "I've seen him eat wood before because he thought that it was bacon!" The large breasted woman looked down at the smiling blonde boy and quickly pushed him away from her.

"You stay away from me…Got it?" She instructed. Naruto nodded slowly, oblivious to why she wanted him to stay away from her. "And you stay away from Ton-Ton." She added, pointing at the tiny pig in 'Shizune's' arms. Naruto nodded slowly. "Good…Now go and converse with your little friend." The blonde haired woman pushed the blonde once more, sending him floating toward Krillin.

"But you never told me what your name is!" Naruto reminded the woman. "Master Roshi says that its impolite to not introduce yourself to someone!" Despite his tiny lecture on manners, neither the blonde, nor her brunette companion answered. "You're being very rude, lady!" He remarked. Like his previous statement, his words fell upon deaf ears.

End

* * *

This was another 'gem' hidden on my old laptop that I came across a few hours ago and gave it a read through. I still remember the basic outline of the story and why I mixed up the Naruto and Dragon Ball universe:

A combination of being tired of being ignored, scorned and occasionally beaten up by older kids-and chased out of structures for just being inside them-Naruto decides that maybe Konoha isn't the place for him. So, after packing as much instant ramen as he could both afford and fit into a backpack he lifted from a kid at the local park; some clothes and the desire to find a place to fit in; Naruto slowly makes his way out of Konohagakure, out of Hi no Kuni and somehow manages to find his way off of the Shinobi Continent. After drifting from one area of the world to another, picking up various pieces of martial arts; Naruto finds himself beating away small, weak thugs near a village when he learns of Master Roshi and his school-who had, recently; just competed in the World Martial Arts Tournament for the first time in years-and decides that if someone around his size could go head-to-head with the winner of the Tournament(Goku vs. Jackie Chun) from training under an old man like Roshi, then he could become someone who could give even a Hokage a run for his money, and decides to look for him.

The story was supposed to, at least for the first portion; revolve around Naruto training with Krillin and being humiliated by Roshi while learning the same way that Krillin and Goku had when they started training under him. He was, originally; going to learn how to fight and then return to his village and wow people into respecting him by becoming the best ninja they had ever seen. However, somewhere along the way, he forgets about being a ninja and decides that rather than killing people for a living, he should put more of his time and energy into helping people; like other martial artists he met/meets along the way.

The entire purpose of him returning was a plot twist of cliché proportions involving them(Naruto, Krillin and Roshi) showing up in Konoha near the Genin Exams and being rather unsuccessful at leaving for quite a while due to Sarutobi not wanting to allow Naruto to be able to leave the village again, given his status; leading to a deal between Roshi and Sarutobi.

However, since I forgot about this story when I got my new laptop(because I am part crow on the inside and needed to play with what was once a shiny thing); I haven't thought about it much until now. Still, I thought that I'd post what I have here nonetheless.


	8. Hakubi Naruto Ver 2

Hakubi Naruto

* * *

I don't own Naruto or Tenchi Muyo! I wish I did, but I don't. I also wish that I owned a Cabbit. Those things run on carrots you know; no more fossil fuel for me baby! Eco-Friendly, extremely low cost! WHOO!

(This story starts out with Naruto already freed and just wandering around the area in a stupor, wondering where he is and why.)

* * *

"Where the Hell am I?" a fairly short blonde haired teen asked himself as he wandered through the thick forest he awoke and found himself in. Noting the vast amount of trees, and they're size; that surrounded the area, a scowl quickly found its way on the blonde's face. "This better not be a Jurain satellite." He grumbled to himself. "The last thing I want to do is tangle with those twits." In his current state, the blonde alien knew that he would be easy pickings for a talented Jurain swordsman. Looking down at his wrists, the blonde frowned. "First thing first, find my gems." Looking around the small area of forest one last time, the blonde sighed before disappearing into thin air.

00oo00

Mizuki looked at the unconscious body of the Genin girl in front of him. She had played her part fairly well, letting no one notice her as she slipped in and out of the Hokage's Tower to steal the Scared Scroll of Seals. He had two choices. One, he could let her live; allowing her to take the brunt of the village's anger. Or, two; kill her. A small smile wormed its way on to the silver haired man's face. For the last couple of years, he had been under village arrest, not allowed to leave on missions outside the village due to a prior incident involving him killing his two teammates on a mission to protect both the mission and the village. Why should he be the only one? The only difference between the girl and himself; was the fact that she was innocent of almost everything.

"Well then, I guess I'll be on my way then." The man bent over and lightly cuppe the girl's right cheek; "You were great, Ami. I hope you'll be just as great in prison." The man ended, sharply slapping the girl's face. Standing up, the man hoisted the large scroll into the air and began to place it on his shoulders. As soon as the scroll touched the fabric of his outfit, the newly minted Nuke-Nin turned around and began to run north…Only to run into a tall, angry; but very beautiful, woman with long blood red hair. He felt his heart skip a beat and his face paled as he broke out in a cold sweat.

"Hello, Chuunin." The woman began crisply. Mizuki took a step back in fear. He was standing before the wife of the late Yondaime Hokage, Uzumaki Kushina; one of the strongest seals mistresses in the world. "I hope you were planning on returning that scroll…" her violet eyes narrowed darkly before she continued speaking; "because if you aren't, then please die here and now." The woman pulled out a pair of bladed tonfa and slowly sank into a stance. Mizuki opened his mouth to answer, but nothing came out. Instead, he flapped his mouth open and shut like a fish. "Well, Chuunin? You're answer?"

Mizuki looked beyond the redhead and gulped slightly. _'I could do it…I could get by her…'_ Gulping softly, the silver haired man steeled his facial expression and lifted his right foot into the air…

_SHINK!_

…Not the smartest move.

The silver haired man's leg fell off just above his knee in a shower of blood. Mizuki bit out a pain filled scream as his body fell face first into the earth. His face impacted against the ground so hard, that it forced the screaming man's jaws to clack against each other, cracking several teeth in the process.

No longer concerned with the injured man, the redhead bent down and picked up the scroll and gave it a once over. The way that the seal easily peeled off of the main body of the scroll told her that someone had opened it recently. But who? Mizuki or the girl.

'_Speaking of the girl…'_ the woman made her way over to the unconscious girl and bent down next to her. She checked her vitals. _'Unconscious, but otherwise okay.'_ She sighed a sigh of relief before standing up. Taking a deep breath of air, the redhead looked around the small clearing. "An Anbu team should be here soon." The woman told herself. Looking back to Mizuki, the woman frowned. She slowly made her way over to his struggling form. "Not dead yet, are you?" she asked coldly. The man shivered heavily and grabbed at his injury with his hands. "Is there anyone else involved with your little scheme?" she asked. Mizuki didn't respond. "Fine." Kushina spat. "But in case you forgot where you were, little Chuunin; you're still within Konohagakure's territory; and even if you die, we'll still get out every bit of information we need or desire from your corpse." The man ignored her, moaning painfully as he tried to stop the bleeding. Kushina began to stoop down, to deal with the wound she had inflicted upon the Chuunin, when a rustling behind her earned her interest.

Swinging sharply, the redhead turned around and grabbed one of her bladed tonfa, just in case she needed it.

"Uzumaki-San?" a relatively gruff voice broke through the silence. A man wearing a grey and black outfit and an Inu-Mask walked out of the bushes and bramble that surrounded the small clearing. The woman relaxed slightly.

"Hatake-Kun." The redhead greeted the newcomer. The newcomer's shoulders dropped slightly at the term of endearment the older woman had used but didn't say anything. "Mizuki is over there, severely injured; critical even." The younger man nodded. "Please take him to the hospital…Maybe he won't die until after the Yamanaka get done with him." The Anbu nodded.

"What about you, Uzumaki-San?" the man asked. The woman turned her head and motioned at the unconscious girl and the scroll. "I see." The Anbu member hurried over to the injured traitor and collected both him and his severed leg. "I'll see you later, Uzumaki-San." The woman nodded at the man before he vanished in a plume of smoke. Once he was gone, the woman made her way back over to the girl and bent over to scoop her up into her arms, when the girl began to stir. Deciding to let the girl regain consciousness before moving her, mainly so she could get some information out of her; but also to make sure that she was okay. So, while she waited for the girl to move a bit more, Kushina went back and picked up the scroll before moving back to the girl.

"U-uh…What happened?" the girl asked aloud as she began to prop herself up, shaking her head as she did so. Suddenly, the girl flipped herself over and reached down her right leg to get a kunai, her eyes wide and frantic.

"You certainly didn't waste any time before trying to arm yourself." Kushina spoke, staring directly into the orange haired girl's chocolate eyes. "Good."

"Y-You're Ayako's Mom, aren't you?" the girl asked the woman. Kushina nodded. "She's not with you, is she?" Kushina chuckled softly before shaking her head.

"No she's not. She's back home, making new plans." The girl in front of Kushina scowled, earning another chuckle from the older woman. "Sounds like you know exactly what kind of plans my daughter is working on, don't you?"

"She uses me to test those stupid things out!" the girl blurted out angrily. "I can't tell you how many times she's trapped me before molesting me!" she touched her lips gently. "…She stole my first kiss…"

"She's stolen a lot of first kisses." The redhead stated, frowning slightly.

"…And my second, third, fourth, fifth kisses." Ami growled. "She's kissed me no less than seventeen times…In front of the rest of our class and other classes…I wish she'd stop." Kushina sighed and nodded.

"I wish she'd stop chasing women old enough to be her mother, but she won't." the girl cocked an eyebrow at her.

"You aren't…Well…You know…" the girl trailed off slightly, hoping that the redhead would pick up on her unasked question. When Kushina didn't, the girl gulped audibly and opened her mouth and continued. "…A lesbian too, are you?" Kushina's face reddened slightly, but the woman shook her head.

"Heavens no!" she informed the pre-teen. "Although, with the way I shoot down men left and right, I might as well be one…" she whispered softly, not loud enough for the girl to hear her. Shaking her head slightly, Kushina held out a hand for the girl to grab on to. Ami did, and quickly felt herself being pulled up to her feet by the strong woman. "I can't be a lesbian if I had Ayako, now could I?" Ami didn't respond. "What?" the girl flushed brightly.

"W-We, the girls in my class and myself that is, asked Ayako if she wanted to have kids one day…" she looked up at Kushina bashfully before continuing. "She said that she did…We asked her if she was going to marry someone or at least…well, you know…" the orange haired girl formed a small 'o' with her left hand and stuck out her right index finger and then pushed it in and pulled it out before repeating the process a few more times. "…She said that she'd sooner die then do that."

"She's certainly not shy about it, is she?" Kushina asked, mostly to herself. "She's learned of a new process that allows women to become pregnant without needing a male to actually do anything other than donate sperm. She's very excited about it." The girl shivered comically, causing the redhead to chuckle.

"Not me, uh-uh!" the girl brought her arms up under her breasts and held them there, her face aimed towards the night sky. "I'll stick to the good old fashioned way, thank you kindly." Neither female spoke for several moments. "So…What happened to Mizuki-Sensei? He never showed up to grade me."

"Mizuki was never going to grade you, Hun." Kushina informed the girl. "He used you to get one of the most dangerous objects within the village. He was probably planning on killing you if his first attempt to knock you out failed."

"…Why?" Ami asked.

"Why?" Kushina replied. "Why he tricked you? Or why did he want the scroll?"

"Both." Ami answered. "I don't understand."

"Mizuki was passed over for a promotion to Jounin a couple of years ago. He did something very inappropriate and was placed under village arrest. I guess he felt that he shouldn't have been punished as severely as he was and decided to get revenge; the best way to do that was by stealing something that could hurt the village. The Scroll of Seals." Kushina began. "He used you because he knew he could get you to do his work for him." The girl's head dropped slightly. "Speaking of which, Ami; I need to know how he got you to help him. Did he promise your something?" the girl nodded. "What?"

"He…He said that if I did this, then Sasuke-Kun might finally notice me." Kushina bit back the instinct to groan.

'_Of course.'_ The redhead grumped mentally. _'Love.'_ It wasn't real love, Kushina knew better than that; but to a young girl who just started taking an interest in the opposite sex, or the same sex for some people; it was very easy to confuse lust for love. Shaking her head, the woman asked the girl what she had done after taking the scroll. After the girl's slow explanation, the redhead nodded her head slightly and stuck her lower lip out slightly. The girl hadn't learned much, in fact; she hadn't learned anything, her small chakra reserves nearly giving out on her while she tried to learn the _Kage Bunshin no Jutsu_. "Well, even thought you didn't learn it; I'm impressed, Hun." The girl looked up at the redhead in disbelief. Kushina placed a hand on her back and began to walk her back to the village, large scroll resting on her left shoulder. "The Kage Bunshin is a very hard and dangerous move to learn. It can kill you if you do it wrong. The fact that it didn't kill you probably means that you have a reasonable amount of chakra stored away within you."

"Really?" Ami asked. Kushina nodded. As the two females walked back to the village, neither one noticed the small glimmering jewel that had been buried under Ami's body.

00oo00

Staring up at the tall tan walls, the blonde haired teen frowned. _'Jurai doesn't wall off their outposts…Neither do the Kuramitsu. Where am I?'_ Walking alongside the wall, in hopes of finding some sort of identifying symbol that would tell him where in the universe he was, or; in the very least, who controlled the quadrant he woke up in. After ten several minutes of walking, the short blonde teen came upon a large green painted wooden gate. It was open, and there were three men standing just in front of it; each of them wearing the same outfit, _'Probably a uniform of some kind.'_ The blonde told himself as he approached. One of the men, the one on the blonde's left; noticed him and signaled for his fellow guards to prepare for a confrontation.

"Halt!" the man shouted at him. From the distance between the blonde and the uniformed guards, the blonde could tell that he had drawn a small weapon just in case he needed it. "Who are you and what is your business here?!" the blonde cocked his head slightly.

'_They don't know me?'_ Had he been sent to a part of the universe where the locals _hadn't_ heard of the devastation he had caused when he was younger? Or, had he been sealed for so long that his deeds had been lost to the locals? After waiting several moments, which irritated the guards; the blonde decided to give him his real name. _'What harm could it do? It's not that hard for people to notice me and they haven't attacked me yet…'_ shrugging, the blonde opened his mouth. "I am Hakubi Naruto…" he began, appeasing the guards slightly. "And…I don't know what my business here is…"

"What do you mean by that?" another guard barked. Naruto shrugged.

"Well…" he paused. He didn't actually remember what had happened to him before he woke up in that large tree. _'How do I go about explaining that I might have murdered a bunch of people and then probably got sealed away by someone for who knows how long to a bunch of metal knife wielding peons?'_ "…I think I got mugged…" _'Yeah! Let's go with that!'_ he told himself, hoping to pull on the guards' heartstrings a bit. Pity did go a long way in some cases.

"Do you have your papers?" another guard asked Naruto. Naruto groaned mentally.

"What part of _'I think I got mugged'_ don't you understand?" the blonde growled out angrily. He didn't know what kind of papers they wanted him to give them, but it was obviously some kind of identification. It was common knowledge, at least to the blonde it was; that when you got mugged if someone could find any form of identification on the victim, you took it. Did it work differently here? Maybe muggers on this planet took the money from their victim's wallet and then plucked their information out and pinned it to their naked bodies for the world to see.

"I think you're full of bullshit!" the first guard snapped. "If you were mugged, then why would anyone leave you with your belt?" Naruto blinked several times before looking down towards his abdomen. Looking at the furry belt that wrapped its self around his waist, he looked up at the guards and then pointed at it.

"This thing?" the guards nodded in unison. "Oh…" Naruto started; "this isn't a belt."

"Do you think we're stupid enough to believe that that isn't a belt?" The blonde nodded. "Then what is it? A tail?"

"Well, actually;" Naruto began, staring at the guards calmly before willing his tail to unwrap itself. As his tail floated in the air, waving at the guards; one of the men started shaking violently. "Hey! What's with him?" before the other guards could say a thing, the man hurled his metal knife at the blonde. It sailed much faster than the blonde thought that the man could have tossed it, and slammed into his chest; where his heart was. Looking down at the knife, the blonde frowned and placed a hand on the handle of the weapon and yanked it out of his body. Three drops of blood fell from the blade as the blonde inspected it. "That kind of tickled." His response to the attack sent the man who had threw the knife at him into a fear driven frenzy.

The man took out several move knives and with a loud grunt, shot towards Naruto; ready to slice him to pieces. However, as soon as the man got within range to slash Naruto with the knives; the blonde's left hand shot out and grabbed the guard by the neck, stopping his assault in a matter of milliseconds. The other two guards rushed to help their comrade, only to stop when the guard in Naruto's grasp was sent rocketing backwards, flying all the way through the open gate before landing on the ground.

"Geez…" the blonde groaned, snapping his neck; a small frown on his face. "…If this is way you treat injured people down on their luck, then I may as well just leave."

"You are no human!" one of the remaining guards snapped. "You're an Oni!" Naruto paused and looked at him.

"No I'm not." He insisted. The man nodded once before he started moving his hands in an odd formation. He tilted his head up towards the sky and called something out before he blew a large fireball high into the night sky. Naruto watched amazed as the ball of fire blew up in the air, a small explosion followed the burst of light. Then it hit him. It was a signal, a call for help. The other man also started moving his hands in a strange pattern. When he stopped, he split into three separate beings. Naruto scowled.

'_They call me a demon because I have a handsome looking tail, and then they go ahead and spit out fire and multiply…Hypocrites.'_ The four men ran towards him, each one armed with knives and smaller but more rounded bladed weapons. Naruto's scowl deepened but didn't change his stance. Instead, he held out a hand. Without so much as a grunt of effort, a thin purple blade of energy formed in his right hand. The move startled the guards, stopping them in their tracks.

"What's going on here?!" an angry but feminine voice broke the air. Both parties looked over towards the forest and found a tall woman with blood red hair walking slowly towards them, a pair of bladed tonfa in her hands. Behind her a fair distance, was a short orange haired girl; who Naruto could easily tell was both frightened and…embarrassed by what she saw. The guards backed away from Naruto slightly as the redhead moved slowly closer. Naruto cocked an eye in wonder.

'_Is she stronger than they are?'_ Some planets had strong women, and some planets had women stronger than their male portion even; but those planets usually had women in charge of everything rather than men. This planet seemed to be ruled by men…So, was this redheaded woman an exception? He licked his lips in anticipation. She pointed a tonfa at him and scowled, as well as blushed.

"And why are you naked?" the blonde blinked several times before looking down at himself. He stared at himself for a few seconds before looking at the woman and then to the girl behind her. A crimson hue found its way onto his face and he quickly willed his tail to cover his genitalia. If the woman was surprised by his furry prehensile limb, she didn't show it.

"U-U-Uzumaki-Sama!" one of the guards stuttered as he looked at the redhead. "Th-This man is an Oni! He attacked Kai!" Naruto blinked once before scowling and turning to glare at the man.

"Quite you're lying!" he yelled. "That pathetic excuse for a homosapien attacked me first, and you know it!" He turned back to the woman and continued. "I merely defended myself, that's all."

"You threw him over sixty feet!" the other guard shouted. "There's no way a human can do that!"

"Who the hell said I was human?!" Naruto snapped back, causing the redhead, the girl behind her and the two guards to back away from him. "But I ain't no Oni, that's for sure!"

"If you aren't a human, and not a demon, then what are you?" the redhead asked, a dangerous tone elicited in her voice. The naked blonde shrugged.

"I don't know." He replied. "All I know is that I'm not human."

"ONI!" one of the guards shouted as he hurled a kunai at the blonde…Only to have the knife phase through the blonde and hit a tree several feet behind the blonde. The redhead, the girl and the two guards gaped at the blonde. "S-See!"

"You know, I'm getting tired of you calling me an Oni; Nimrod." Naruto ground out as he phased back into reality. The sword made of purple energy retracted until it became a small purple orb of energy. Glaring at the man who had attacked him, the blonde pointed his palm at him. "Let's see who's weapon is faster. You're bulky metal weapon, or my energy bolts?" the blonde's face twisted into a maniacal grin, his purple eyes glinting maliciously. The man, his fellow guard, the redhead and the young girl paled.

"What is going on here?" an older, gruff voice broke the tension. The blonde flickered his gaze towards the voice and found himself staring at a short man, shorter than himself; wearing a large pointed hat. Beside him, were two masked guards; both of whom were much stronger than the guards in front of Naruto. The elderly man was even stronger than they were.

"Hokage-Sama!" the two gate guards barked, bowing to the man.

"Hokage-Sama." the redhead greeted the elderly man. The girl behind her whispered her greeting to the elderly man. "Why are you here?"

"Well, when I see a fireball bursting high above the walls of my village in the middle of the night, it makes me wonder what's going on. Since we were already dealing with Mizuki's betrayal, I decided to come and deal with whatever the problem was personally." He nodded at the naked blonde before continuing. "So…What seems to be the problem here?" Naruto saw the redhead open her mouth to answer the man, but one of the gate guards beat her to the punch.

"He's an Oni, Hokage-Sama!" Naruto glared spitefully at the annoying guard. The man's partner nodded his head in agreement.

"He threw Kai over sixty feet!" Naruto looked at the elderly man and saw him frowning at him.

"Just because someone throws someone over sixty feet, doesn't make them an Oni; Tsunade can do that just as easily and she's no Oni." The two guards looked down at the ground for half a second in shame. "However, I would like to know why there's a naked teenager with a tail standing in front of my village threatening to kill one or two of my men."

"They attacked me, twice now; and I felt that I should defend myself." Naruto answered the elderly man's question.

"Hmm." The man hummed loudly, casting a glance at the two remaining guards. They quickly backed down and shut their mouths. "Now," the man turned back to Naruto; "why did you come here?"

"It uh…It was the first place I came across after I woke up...I thought that I could get some information on where I was…" Naruto replied honestly. The elderly man nodded.

"And the cause for your current state of undress?" Naruto blushed.

"I woke up like this." Naruto replied somewhat hesitantly. "There wasn't one thing left of my belongings when I woke up…" the man nodded once more.

"And the tail?"

"Natural as far as I can tell." The look on the man's face told Naruto that he wasn't so sure. "Look, the first day I saw it, I was sitting in a diaper and it was smacking me against my head. That good enough for you?"

"No." the man answered quickly. "But I guess it will have to do…For now."

"Fo-For now?" the blonde asked. The blonde's purple eyes widened as he sensed a high level energy presence appear behind him. He began to turn around to see who was there, only to receive a sharp electric shock to his unprotected backside. "GAAAH!" his loud scream of pain shocked a couple of the people present. As he fell to the ground, his vision turning dark; the last thing the blonde saw was a woman with long purple hair standing over him.

00oo00

Uzumaki Kushina sighed tiredly as she entered her apartment, shutting and locking the door behind her. Slipping out of her sandals and into her slippers, the redhead quietly made her way upstairs. Halfway up the stairs, the redhead stopped her ascent and listened. After several seconds of listening, the woman nodded her head and resumed climbing up the stairs. Once at the top of the stairs, the woman turned left and entered her room. Flipping the switch, the lights turning on milliseconds later; the redhead sighed to herself once she saw what was waiting for her on her bed.

On her bed, was a relatively tall, tanned skinned girl with tri-colored hair that flowed from her head all the way down to the middle of her back. One section of hair was purple, one was black and the last color was a very bright green. Her nightgown, rather skimpy and revealing; was thin and light purple. Kushina sighed yet again and walked over to her bed. Plopping herself down on the foot of her bed, causing the bed to jump and shake; stirring the girl slightly.

Rubbing her eyes, the girl looked at her Mother; her blue eyes barely open and opened her mouth. "Kaa-San?"

"Hmm?" Kushina acknowledged her daughter.

"What happened?" the tri-colored girl asked.

"What makes you think something happened?" Kushina asked her daughter, who promptly scoffed.

"Please." She began, sitting up on her Mother's bed. "You're almost never out late unless something happens." She stretched her arms over her head and yawned loudly before continuing. "Plus, you have blood on your shirt." She pointed at the right side of her Mother's shirt. "So…Who died?"

"No one." The redhead replied. "At least not yet." Her mother picked up the hem of her shirt and began to pull it up and over her head. "We did, however; catch a traitor in the middle of stealing a very important and dangerous village artifact. He also attempted to set a girl in your graduating class up to be framed."

"Who?" the girl asked now fully awake. Her Mother turned her head, in the middle of removing her bra from her chest; and glared lightly at her.

"The girl you test your traps out on. Ami." The tri-colored haired girl's eyes grew wide.

"She's not hurt, is she?" she asked, a concerned tone in her voice. "And, how do you know I use her to test out my traps?"

"To answer your questions in order, Ayako: No, she's not hurt and I know you use her to test your traps out on because she told me." The redhead stood up and faced her daughter, her chest bare of any clothing; "Honestly, setting up traps in the locker room at the academy? Just to test out a new trap?"

"Well, I needed a target as tomboyish as Anko-Sama, and Ami is one of the most tomboyish girls in my class!" Kushina palmed her face.

"And yet she still likes boys…" she whispered to herself. Removing her hand from her face, the woman glared at her daughter again. "No more. Her Mother thinks that she's a lesbian now thanks to your traps and your kissing her on the lips…And why, perverted daughter of mine; do you have to kiss her?" the girl's eyes light up and a small perverted grin made its way on to her tanned face.

"Hehe!" she chuckled. "I have to make sure that I can kiss Anko-Sama or Kurenai-Hime or any other woman I trap within seconds after they spring them!" her Mother didn't look pleased. "And what's so wrong with being a lesbian?"

"When your classmate is molesting you and kissing you and you _don't_ want her to; having a Mother who frowns upon you because of your classmate's actions and your Father whooping for joy, muttering things about getting to know your girlfriend…Everything." Ayako's smile faltered a bit.

"Quit it." The girl nodded obediently. "Now, as for why it took me so long to come home, was because on our way back to the village, Ami and I ran into a…very strange, very strong naked teen with a monkey tail…He caused quite a disturbance."

"Wait, a guy with a monkey tail?" Ayako asked, ignoring the fact that the teen was naked. Kushina nodded. "Fake or real?"

"Real." Kushina answered.

"Get out! You're kidding, right?" Kushina shook her head. "No way…NO WAY!" the girl jumped up to her feet, causing the bed to shake and groan a metallic groan as she bounced about. "An alien! A real alien!"

"He's not an alien." Her Mother chided. "There are no such thing as aliens…Just an Oni."

"O-Oni?" the tri-colored girl asked, no longer jumping up and down on her Mother's bed. She hated Oni…Just like everyone else in the village. "Really?" her Mother's mouth twitched slightly before nodding.

"He insists that he's not an Oni, but after seeing a kunai phase through him; I'm not so sure." Ayako's eyes bugged out once more.

"A kunai _phased through_ him?" her Mother nodded. The girl dropped to the bed, bouncing slightly and silently gushed over the fact. Oni or not, that was a pretty cool ability to posses.

"Anyway, he's now in the Hokage's custody; and I need to take a shower to remove your former sensei's blood from my body along with several hours worth of sweat." Her daughter nodded. "And you need to get back into your room and go to sleep. Just because you don't have class tomorrow, doesn't mean that you're getting out of training." The girl frowned slightly but nodded anyway.

"Yes, Kaa-San." The redhead ruffled her daughter's hair before turning around, opening her middle dresser drawer and removed a red nightgown.

00oo00

Naruto groaned weakly as he opened his purple eyes, only to shut them when the fake yellow light entered his pupils. "Gah!"

"Too bright?" an unfamiliar person asked. The man's deep baritone voice had a dark humorous tone to it. He didn't wait for Naruto to answer before continuing. "Good." The man took several steps away from the blonde before continuing. "You know, I've never had the pleasure of interrogating an Oni before…Of course, before you; the only Oni I've ever seen was twenty stories tall or more in height and had nine extremely strong tails that could smash mountains in the blink of an eye." Naruto frowned at the information. He squeezed his eyes shut before opening them fully, barely flinching at the small lamps bulb and the light it emitted. A tall, scarred man wearing a bandana on his head soon entered his field of vision; in his right hand was a large rope with a large knot tied at one end of it. Naruto looked down and noticed that he was tied down to a chair; his legs spread wide open, tied so that he couldn't move them.

"You know…I could just phase out of here." The blonde stated. "You'd be powerless to stop me." The man just smirked.

"You could try it…But seeing as you appear to be weak when it comes to electricity…" the man snapped his fingers and a small piece of paper was suddenly slapped onto his right shoulder. "That is a tag, that when on command; will electrocute you into submission." Naruto cursed mentally.

"So…what do you want?" Naruto asked, moving onto a new subject.

"Just some information…Like how many of you are there and where you're based." The man answered.

"I don't know how many people like me there are…As far as I know there are two; myself and a woman named Ryoko. As for where she is…No one's seen her in seven centuries." The man's eyes widened slightly.

'_Oni are long lived…No surprise that they've been around for more than seven hundred years.'_ The man told himself. "And your base, your den?" the blonde snorted.

"You speak as if I'm some sort of monster who lives in the core of this planet…" the blonde said with a partially amused chuckle. "…But, if you _must_ know; I don't have a home. I'm a wanderer." The man frowned. "Didn't get what you were hoping for, did you?" his answer came in the form of a well placed smack from the rope in the man's hands; the large knot impacting against his crotch; forcing a painful scream out of the alien.

"Not exactly, no." the grizzled man answered, a smile on his face as he stared at the teen. "But, then again; we have all the time in the world; hehehe…"

00oo00  
The Next Morning  
00oo00

"Good morning, Ibiki-San." Hiruzen greeted his lead interrogator as he trudged tiredly into his office, a thin file in his hands. "How much did you find out?" the man shook his head.

"There weren't a lot of areas where I could hit him that actually made him feel pain. The genitals were about the only area where I could make him feel pain. However, after a few smacks with the rope to his crotch, he phased his legs through the restraints and blocked any more attacks upon his genitals. Everything else I tried made him…Excited."

"How so?" Hiruzen asked. Ibiki blushed.

"He…He uh…He pitched a tent at one point after Anko took over and started pushing pins underneath his fingernails. It appears that he's a masochist." The Hokage frowned.

"So, you didn't get much on him." The man shook his head.

"I'm sorry, Hokage-Sama…He's…He's not like most of the people we've dealt with." Hiruzen nodded in understanding. "But, here's some information we were able to glean from him before his body made his disorder known to us." The file was passed from the tall, younger man's hands to the elderly man's gnarled fingers. Opening it, the Hokage frowned at what was in it.

"He has a sister, but hasn't seen her in over seven hundred years; doesn't know if there are more beings like himself and his sister and doesn't like hurting people unless they piss him off. Hmm…Doesn't sound like any Oni I've ever heard of." Ibiki shook his head. Closing the file and placing it on his desk, Hiruzen made a face. "Is he still in interrogation?" Ibiki nodded. "Good. I'd like to have a chat with him." The younger man nodded.

00oo00

Naruto glared at the elderly man who stood less than ten feet away from him in the interrogation room he had woken up in last night. "What do you want?" the man shrugged. "I answered the questions your interrogators asked me."

"Not all of them." The man replied. The blonde scoffed.

"Some of the questions they asked were retarded. I mean really, how do you reproduce? Why the hell do you want to know that for?" the older man frowned. "Oh…I get it…You're gay aren't you?" the man's face turned red from a mixture of anger and embarrassment.

"I am not gay." The elderly man ground out. "I wanted to know just in case we came in here this morning and found two or three more of you running around, threatening to kill us all."

"Ah…Asexual reproduction…The most boring way to reproduce." The blonde stated, nodding his head sagely as he spoke. "Sorry," he said, suddenly shaking his head; "to have to disappoint you; but I need to stick my proboscis in a girl's flower in order to make babies." The man nodded again. "Anything else you want to know?"

"Yes…you said that you haven't seen your sister in over seven hundred years…If that's true, then why doesn't anyone know about you? I can't imagine that you come up with a new identity ever eighty years or so." The elderly man stated.

"Well…Let's see now…The reason why no one knew about me, was probably because I was sealed within a tree for the last…who knows how many years." The man's eyes narrowed.

"What did you do to warrant being sealed away?" Hiruzen asked. The blonde snorted.

"For the same reason why you're interrogating me; because I exist, that's why." Naruto stated. "You see, my sister of mine pissed off the wrong sort of people, people from far beyond your…village…and they've dedicated their lives to the eradication of our kind…Even though there are only the two of us. I came here, back when there weren't any signs of intelligent life other than animals and insects and whatnot; only to get captured and sealed away within a tree by the same people who were hunting my sister down."

"Does your sister look like you?" Hiruzen nodded. Naruto nodded in return.

"Yeah…Only she's got light cyan hair and a darker colored tail than myself. Oh! And she's got a wicked hairdo, too! Really long and spiky!" Hiruzen's frown deepened. "Anyway…Now that I've answered your questions, can you let me go?"

"Why?" Hiruzen asked. "Why would I let someone or some_thing_ like you; out and about?"

"Why shouldn't you? I've done nothing more than defend myself and threaten to kill a couple of Nimrods who don't listen." Naruto asked.

"You are an Oni, and I can't have you walking around in broad daylight." The blonde frowned.

"What's so bad about Oni?" The elderly man's face steeled as his jaws tightened.

"Twelve years ago, a great Oni known as the Kyuubi no Kistune attack our village. No one within the village would be able to deal with the fact that you are allowed to walk out and about." The blonde snorted.

"I could handle myself." The man pointed at the paper seal on his right shoulder. "Yeah, well…" the blonde shrugged. "Besides, I'd only be in the village for like a day, two tops; then, I'd be out of your hair forever."

"Why stay in our village at all?" the man asked.

"Because, I sensed something of mine near here…And I want it back." The blonde stated, narrowing his eyes.

"What?" Hiruzen asked.

"A gem of mine, which grants me power. Unfortunately, the people who sealed me away took it from me. I want it-no, I _need_ it back if I'm to truly leave." Naruto explained.

"What does this gem look like?" Hiruzen asked. The blonde phased his right arm through the restraint, startling the elderly Hokage and his guards; and showed him his wrist. There, in the center of his wrist; was a rectangular indent.

"It's rectangular and green." Hiruzen felt his eyes widen. "You've seen it?" the man nodded weakly. "Where?"

"I've seen It…It's with an old student of mine, given to her by her Grandfather as a small girl." Naruto narrowed his eyes.

"Well, that sucks." Naruto grunted.

00oo00

"…He says that he needs itto truly leave, but he also stated that the gem gives him more power than he already has…Can we really trust an Oni like himself to get that gem and then turn around and leave without further incident?" Ibiki asked the Sandaime. The elderly frowned. He looked back through the two-way mirror that separated the blonde Oni from Anko, Ibiki, Shikaku, Inoichi and himself.

"He has a point, Hokage-Sama." Shikaku started. He hadn't been there when the interrogation had begun, but after the blonde had mentioned the true power of the gemstone, he and his teammate were brought in.

"Is there any way that we can hold him within the village other than placing a shock tag on him and having someone follow him around prepared to deal with him in case he does something while he looks for that gem of his?" Inoichi asked. Hiruzen's frown deepened.

"Yuago did a pretty good job of zapping his ass the first time…Why not move her to watch over him?" Anko asked. Shikaku shook his head.

"She's requested some time off to help Hayate." The purple haired woman frowned. "His health took a rather serious turn for the worst last month and only just escaped the grasp of death. He's doing a bit better, but still; she's extremely worried about him."

"Maybe…Maybe there's a way we can trick him into staying within the village." Ibiki began slowly, earning the interest of everyone present. "I don't know how just yet, but if we could trick him into staying within the village after he finds Tsunade and gets that gem of his from her, then the village would be safe from attacks. Of course, we'd still need someone to watch over him and make sure that he doesn't try to skip town."

"You forget, Ibiki-Chan;" Anko began in a teasing tone; "that he can just phase through objects. Shock tags won't be nearly as effective out in public." The scarred man nodded.

"That's why we wouldn't use a shock tag, Anko-Kun." The man smirked at the purple haired woman to his left. "We'd place a seal on him, something that he couldn't remove even if he wanted to." The rest of the ninja gathered thought the idea over for a few minutes before nodding or voicing their opinion.

"Personally, I think that even if he had that seal on him; he could still cause a massive amount of damage before being taken out of the picture if he really wanted to." The Shikaku stated. "Plus, the gem." Hiruzen nodded.

"I'll figure out a way to worm it away from him after he's obtained it." He stated. Surely that indent in the blonde Oni's wrist was simple for show. There was no way that the gemstone had actually been placed _within_ his body…Right? Shaking his head slightly, Hiruzen turned around and walked away from the two-way mirror. "Now…We just need someone to watch over him…Control him."

"Hokage-Sama." Hiruzen turned around and looked at Inoichi. "May I suggest Tenzo? He has the Shodaime's abilities to suppress demonic energy after all." Hiruzen shook his head.

"While that's a great suggestion, one that I would agree to if Tenzo wasn't already on a mission. However, he is just that." The blonde haired man frowned slightly but nodded. The room fell silent for a couple moments as the ninja within thought about someone who could watch the Oni. Remarkably, the next suggestion came from Anko.

Snapping her fingers, the purple haired woman caught the attention of her peers and her superior. "Kushina can do it!" the Sandaime shook his head. "Come on! Why not?"

"Due to her relationship with the Yondaime and what happened twelve years ago, I doubt that she'd be up to watching over the Oni, and neither would her daughter." Anko scoffed, waving the elderly man's explanation off.

"But she's also the best person in the village to apply and monitor the seal, Hokage-Sama. Not to mention, if she really needed to; she could probably fry that beast in an instant! She's the best person for the job!" Anko retorted.

"She does have a point, Hokage-Sama." Ibiki mentioned from beside the ancient protector of Konohagakure. "And with that daughter of hers, nothing that the Oni does would slip by her."

Hiruzen frowned. Ibiki was right of course, Ayako was a slippery little eel; able to squirm her way into most anything without getting caught. Spying came natural to her, and given her hatred towards Oni; she wouldn't leave the blonde Oni alone. The real problem, however; was her Mother, Kushina. Sighing to himself, he turned to the door that lead into the interrogation room and opened it.

"Oni, what would happen if we were to cut off your tail?" he asked, the door to the interrogation room open and the other members of the group peering through the door.

"I thought we went over this, Stinky;" the blonde grumbled, "my name isn't 'Oni'; it's Naruto."

"Alright then, Naruto; answer my question. What would happen if I were to cut off your tail?" Hiruzen asked again, this time using the blonde's name. The blonde scowled at him.

"If you were to cut off my tail…I don't really know." The blonde admitted. "But, I do remember asking my older sister about that a long time ago, back when I last saw her; and she said something about if our tails were cut off, then everything within two hundred miles would be completely obliterated, destroyed…Except for us of course." The man paled. Naruto smirked inwardly. The man had bought the bluff. To be completely honest, he didn't know what would happen if someone cut off his beautiful tail…And…He didn't really want to find out what happened if they did. It was far too beautiful for such a gruesome end. The elderly man turned around and walked back towards the room on the other side of the mirror and shut the door behind him.

"What do you think?" he asked the group of ninja. "Was he lying?" Inoichi frowned.

"He might have been." The blonde admitted. "The only problem is, if he doesn't know what would happen. What he said might actually happen, and I don't know about you; but I'm not willing to try it and find out." The others shook their heads in agreement. Hiruzen sighed. He turned back towards the room, he opened the door and walk back in until he was standing in front of Naruto.

"I've decided to let you go." The look on the blonde's face was priceless.

"You mean it?" the elderly man nodded. The blonde phased out of the restraints and whooped for joy. "However," the blonde stilled in an instant; turning his head to look at the elderly man; "you need to be supervised." The blonde nodded slowly.

"If it gets me out of here and get's this piece of paper off of me, then I don't really care." The man smirked slightly.

"Good…Come with me." The blonde nodded. "We'll get you some clothes, try to find something to hide your tail so that it doesn't spook the rest of the village into a panic; and then you'll be transferred to your new place of residence." The blonde perked up at that.

"Hey, hey!" Hiruzen turned his head to look at the blonde. "Can I stay with that purple haired chick?"

"Anko?" Hiruzen asked. The blonde shook his head.

"Not that one, the other one; the one who knocked my ass out last night!" the elderly man shook his head. "Aw…Why not?"

"Because, she's taking care of someone close to her who is extremely ill. I don't think she'd want to have to watch the both of you." Hiruzen replied. "If you want to stay with Anko…I'm sure she wouldn't mind." There was a rush of footsteps and the woman in question appeared in the doorway pointing at Hiruzen with a dangerous look in her eyes.

"There is _no_ way in _hell_ that I'm watching that thing! Uh-uh!" the purple haired woman shook her head furiously.

"Why not?" Naruto whined. The woman scowled at him, earning a smile from the blonde.

"Because! If I have to watch you all day, then I'd never get any work around here done!" Hiruzen gave her a blank look. "And furthermore! You know as well as I do, Hokage-Sama; that as soon as Ayako finds out about him staying with me, and you know as much as I do that she will; she'll be over at my place every day of the week trying to either kill him or make out with me! Do you really think that Kushina will be pleased?" Naruto looked at the short man and watched as a red blush overtook his normally calm face as he thought of dirty thoughts.

"Stinky's thinking of perverted thoughts…Young girls and older women, perhaps?" the blonde stated, a singsong like tone in his voice. The elderly man choked on his own saliva and turned to glare at the blonde. "What? That's kind of hot…" he looked at Anko. "How old is this Ayako?"

"Twelve." The blonde's eyes shot up into his hairline before whistling loudly.

"Damn…I guess you really are dirty, Stinky. I thought that she was around sixteen or seventeen, but twelve? Sounds kind of pedophile-ish to me." The elderly man rammed an elbow into the blonde's stomach, causing the blonde to crumpled over, holding his gut painfully.

"Take him to go get some clothes and then bring him to Kushina's." he ordered the purple haired woman in front of him. "And tell her that is she has a problem with my decision, then she can come see me about it. Got it?" the woman nodded. "Good." The man walked out of the interrogation room and swiftly created a few hand seals before disappearing in a cloud of white smoke.

"And you call me an Oni." The blonde stated, shaking his head slowly. The purple haired woman glared at him before reaching out and grabbing a hold of his right arm and yanking him out of the room. "Ooh…I like where this is going." The purple haired woman made a hand seal and the tag on the blonde's shoulder sparked to life momentarily, causing the blonde a great deal of pain.

"Keep talking like that and you'll find another tag on your sack, Oni!" the woman bit out, glaring at the blonde. Naruto sighed painfully.

00oo00  
Uzumaki Residence  
00oo00

Kushina sighed to herself as she watched her daughter try and hone her chakra control exercises. Her daughter had been blessed with unusually large amounts of chakra and was now dealing with the consequence of having so much. Seeing her daughter becoming frustrated, the redhead opened her mouth. "If you can do that three more times, Ayako; then I'll take you to Ichiraku's for lunch." The girl instantly brightened.

"Hai!" she chirped as she went back to trying to balance a leaf several inches off of her forehead. A knocking sound at the front door could be heard, and Kushina stood up.

"I'll get it…You stay here and continue. Remember, you have to balance the leaf for ten minutes each time." The girl made a grunting noise from her place on the floor. Leaving her child, Kushina walked to the front door. Sighing tiredly, she looked through the peephole and found a familiar purple haired woman wearing a very revealing fishnet outfit and a brown trench coat standing at her front door. "Now what did that daughter of mine do?" She grabbed onto the handle and turned it. As she opened it and stepped around the door to greet the purple haired woman, she found that one the objects of her daughter's affection wasn't alone. Behind her and off to the woman's right, was the blonde Oni from last night. She instantly scowled. "Anko…"

"Hi-ya, Kushina-Momma-Sama!" the purple haired kunoichi greeted brightly; "how are you this lovely afternoon?"

"I was good…Until you showed up." The younger woman frowned.

"You used to be so happy whenever I came over, Kushina-Momma-Sama…" the younger woman stated quietly. "What happened?" the sound of rushing footsteps from within the apartment signaled that Ayako had heard the younger woman's voice and had stopped her training to attempt kissing the older woman.

"Anko-Sama!" the girl with tri-colored hair shouted loudly as she launched herself at the purple haired woman, her arms stretched out wide in attempt to wrap her arms around the older woman's waist. There was a poof of smoke and a masculine yelp of shock. As the smoke cleared, Ayako was rubbing her face against a very smooth chest with her eyes closed. "Anko-Sama…Your boobs feel kind of hard…" she admitted, causing her Mother to turn red before yanking her daughter off of the blonde male her daughter was confusing for Anko. "Gah! Kaa-San!" the girl whined, kicking her feet as her Mother pulled her away.

"That's not how we greet people, Ayako." Her Mother scolded her. "And that wasn't Anko." The girl stopped struggling and opened her blue eyes. Looking up at the tall blonde, she glared at him.

"What did you do to my Anko-Sama?!" she demanded, pointing at him angrily. The blonde's response was a raised eyebrow. He turned back to the purple haired woman who had somehow changed places with him as the girl jumped at her moments earlier and addressed her.

"You interrogate people for a living, and you're afraid of a flat chested girl like her?" he asked in confusion. He missed the purple haired woman's eyes growing wider, but he did feel the kick to his crotch, which made him crumple over on to the floor, writing in pain. "Why?!" he whimpered in a high pitched voice.

"That's for calling me a flat chested, girl with microscopic, impossibly small breasts!" Ayako growled, her tri-colored hair floating in the air behind her violently.

"I didn't say that!" the blonde groaned from his place on the floor. "I said flat chest, nothing mor-" the blonde's words were cut off and replaced with a yelp of pain when Ayako kicked his head painfully.

"Oh…Yeah…" Anko spoke up from behind the blonde, smiling down at him. "I forgot to mention a few things about her…She has issues with her bust size. Make fun of them and she'll probably try to kill you."

"Anko…Why are you telling this…_Man_ things about my daughter?" Kushina demanded.

"Yeah, Anko-Sama! Why are you telling him my secrets?" Ayako asked, looking positively betrayed by her romantic interest. Anko gulped and chuckled innocently, rubbing the back of her head before opening her mouth again.

"Well, you see…The Hokage wants you to place a seal on this Stooge and keep an eye on him, Kushina-Momma-Sama." the younger woman began. "He also wants you to house him so that you can keep an eye on him, seeing as…well…you know." She pointed at the blonde's clothed butt. Ayako blinked in confusion before walking over to the down blonde and grabbing hold of his pants and pulling them down slightly.

"Ayako!" her Mother shouted at her, her shout; however, fell on deaf ears as a long, light brown monkey tail popped out of the blonde's pants, flicking from side to side in a cat like manner before curling up slightly at the tip. She instantly backed away from the blonde.

"You're the Oni, Kaa-San saw last night…" the girl began, her voice cold and dangerous. Anko nodded.

"Yeah…For some reason, Hokage-Sama wanted me to bring him to you; says that he's going to let this beast here find a few of his things and then letting him leave for good. He wants you to keep an eye on him until then, seeing as your Fuinjutsu is the better than anyone else's in the village." Kushina narrowed her violet eyes at the younger woman.

"Can I speak with you? In private?" the purple haired woman nodded. "First of all, is there any way to subdue the Oni?" Anko nodded; a look of pleasure on her face. She held up to fingers and willed some chakra into them. There was a small spark on the Oni's right shoulder and the blonde Oni screamed in pain before slumping fully to the floor. "…That's all it takes? A shock tag?" Anko nodded.

"Yeah…We tried beating him earlier, but it only turned him on. Only shots to the crotch and electricity will do the job." Kushina scowled. She turned to her daughter.

"Ayako…Go upstairs…Now." The girl sneered at the semi-unconscious blonde before turning around and stomping towards the stairs. As soon as she slammed her door, Kushina dragged the blonde Oni into her living room and then created a long series of hand seals before slamming her hands to the floor. A dome of white energy shot up and around the blonde, cutting him off from the rest of the world. Turning back to Anko, Kushina narrowed her eyes. "Explain. Now."

"Well…" the younger woman began, rubbing the back of her neck sheepishly.

00oo00  
Half an Hour Later  
00oo00

"So, that old Monkey wants to try and control this Oni? Try and make it fight for us and defend us from other villages?" Kushina summed the purple haired woman's explanation in a few seconds. Anko nodded.

"That, and his older sister; who he says has done things much more horrible things than the Kyuubi did." Kushina's eyes widened drastically. "Yeah, apparently she pissed off a group of people from another land well over seven hundred years ago and they began to hunt her down, along with anything thing else that looked like her. That's how he got sealed up near here…Or so he says." Kushina cast another glance at the blonde haired oni, who had; at some point during the purple haired woman's story, decided that chasing his tail was a great thing to keep himself entertained and had started stumbling over himself as he squirmed on the floor, flopping around like a fish trying to grab his tail.

"His sister…Can he beat her?" Anko shrugged.

"He doesn't know." The purple haired woman admitted. "But, if he can; and she comes here looking for him or anything else, like revenge; something he says she's prone to doing, he'd be our best bet at survival."

"So…He thinks he's a good Oni then?" Anko nodded. "Well, he can tell his tale somewhere else, because I don't want him under my roof with Ayako and myself." Anko's face turned steely. "What?"

"The Hokage basically told me to tell you that you have no choice in the matter, Kushina." She left her affectionate nickname for the older woman drop. "He wants this Oni as a secret weapon and secret protector."

"But that gem of power he told you about? What will happen when he gets a hold of it?" Kushina asked, her eyes narrowing to slits.

"He says that he'll leave…The Hokage says that he'll take it from him before he leaves, while he's…preoccupied…and keep him here." Anko admitted. She sighed. "Look, it was between you and Tenzo; and we both know that Tenzo is a machine when it comes to serving the Hokage. He'd turn that Oni into a mindless machine of slaughter and mayhem. You, on the other hand; would make sure that while he was free to make some of his own choices _and_ make sure that he listened…Just not to the point where anyone in a position of power could come along and order him to kill half of the village or something like that!"

"You signed me up for this?" Kushina asked. Anko nodded slowly. Kushina let out an angry sigh. She turned to the dome and deactivated it. The blonde didn't stop chasing his tail.

"I will get you today, Tail!" he growled at his long prehensile appendage as he spun around in a circle. "Today I will win; and you will lose!" the blonde started spinning so fast, that he actually left the floor and started hovering several inches off of the carpet. A cloud of smoke suddenly appeared and loud, animalistic grunts could be heard throughout the apartment, summoning Ayako downstairs; before the spinning stopped and Naruto landed on the floor with a loud bang, his hands void of his tail. "Damn it! I lost again!" his tail twisted around and appeared in front of his face and silently made fun of him by moving side to side. "You shut up!"

For a while, no one said anything…But after a few moments of relative silence, a young, melodic laughter could be heard from behind Kushina and Anko. Turning around, the two adult women and Naruto; found Ayako laughing at the blonde.

"Hahahahaha! HAHAhahaha!_-snort-_Hahahaha!" Naruto scowled at her. Jumping to his feet, he stomped over to her and bent over just enough so that he could glare into her blue eyes.

"SHUT UP!" he yelled. "IT WASN'T THAT FUNNY! ALL YOU'RE DOING IS REINFORCING HIS BAD BEHAVIOR!" the girl shut her mouth, but continued laughing under her breath. Finally, after ten seconds; the girl's mouth split apart and more laughter erupted from her body. The blonde turned to glare at his tail, "This is all your fault, you know that right?" his tail didn't respond. "Oh sure, now you go to sleep…Stupid tail." Kushina almost cracked a smile. She caught herself before it appeared. Clearing her throat, the redhead caught the blonde's attention.

"Listen here, Oni;" she began strongly, "I don't trust you and I have no idea what the Hokage's thinking or planning by placing you here under my _care."_ The way that she said 'care', made Naruto aware that she didn't like him. "And for some stupid reason, I can't disobey him. So, it seems like you'll be staying here with Ayako and myself." The blonde looked at the girl, who had stopped laughing and was now glaring at him. Her eyes promised pain. The blonde actually gulped. "And while you stay here with me, you will obey my rules…Understand?" the blonde looked back at her and nodded slowly. "Good."

00oo00  
One Week Later  
00oo00

Living with the redhead woman and her seemingly short tempered tri-colored haired daughter wasn't so bad, Naruto came to a conclusion. All he really had to do was stay out of their way when they were home and listen to the redhead when they went out. However, this morning seemed rather special to the both of the females of the house he had been assigned to live at.

"Kaa-San!" Ayako shouted from the bathroom. "Are you going to be my sensei?"

"No, Hun." Kushina shouted her reply from her room. "Unless you and I were part of a big clan with a special Dojutsu like the Uchiha or the Hyuuga; they tend to keep parents and children separate so that no one can blame the sensei for favoritism." Walking out of her bedroom, Kushina found that the blonde Oni that the Hokage had forced her to house and watch over waiting at the top of the stairs, sitting at the very top. "You'd better not make a scene today, Oni. This is a very important day for me." The blonde just turned his head to her and frowned.

"Well, with that fancy bug zapper on my back, I can't do much to disobey you now can I?" Kushina smirked slightly and shook her head. "Hmph!" the blonde huffed, crossing his arms over his chest. Suddenly, his tail popped out from the pair of pants he wore, Kushina grabbed it; causing the blonde to shiver. "Don't touch my tail, woman!" the blonde growled angrily, only to receive a pre-teen sized foot slam into his face, sending him sprawling down the stairs. "…Ouch…"

"Don't talk back to Kaa-San, Oni!" Ayako growled at Naruto from atop the stairs. Naruto looked up at her painfully and the quickly adverted his gaze. It appeared that in her rush to teach him a lesson, Ayako had forgotten to button her shorts; and thanks to the flying high kick, her shorts had slipped down to just under her buttocks; flashing her panties off to the world. Noticing Naruto's action, Kushina looked down at her daughter and cuffed the back of her head. "Ow!" the tri-colored haired girl barked. Looking up at her Mother, silently asking her why she had hit her.

"Because, Hun; your shorts fell down." Blinking in confusion, the girl looked down at herself before her eyes bugged out. She quickly stepped backwards and hid behind her Mother as she pulled her shorts up and buttoned them.

"You had better not have peeked, Oni!" she snapped from her position behind her Mother. "Because I'll kill you if you did!" Naruto snorted.

"First of all, Pea-Brain; you're shorts were down when you were standing on the step looking down at me; so when I glared at you, I did see them…Second of all, nice choice in color by the way; purple is an awesome color." The blonde began, ignoring the glare Kushina gave him. Ayako peeked from behind her Mother, her face still red as she looked down at the Oni.

"Really? You like purple?" Naruto nodded.

"Actually, I like dark purple; but light purple isn't so bad…Nowhere near as bad as pink." Ayako nodded.

"Don't get me started on pink." Ayako grumbled. Pink was the color she despised the most; mainly due to one of her now former classmates.

"Would you two stop talking about underwear and colors, please?" Kushina asked. "We've got to get going, so Ayako; go and grab your gear and we'll be on our way." The girl nodded and ran back to her room. Looking down at the blonde, Kushina frowned. "And you…Here." She tossed a scroll at the blonde, who caught it. "Give it back to me when I tell you to. Understand?" the blonde rolled his eyes but nodded anyway. "Good."

"Alright, ready!" Ayako chirped as she flipped the light switch in her room and racing out to the top of the stairs.

"Alright then…Let's go." They began walking down the stairs, while Naruto phased through them and waited for them on the first floor. Once the two females reached the bottom of the stairs, Kushina cuffed the blonde male. "No phasing through objects. Do that and you'll cause a panic, got that?" the blonde frowned but nodded. "Good."

00oo00  
Academy  
00oo00

"Uzumaki-Sama." a man with short black hair greeted the redhead as she and Naruto entered the academy with Ayako. The girl sped off towards her classroom, leaving her Mother and the blonde hanging. "I see Ayako-Chan is happy as usual." Kushina nodded back. The black haired man looked at the blonde next to her and narrowed his gaze at him. "So…he's the one Pops was talking about, huh?" Kushina nodded.

"Yes…And unfortunately he's staying with me for the remainder of his time in Konohagakure." The man nodded slowly. "Thankfully, he's not much of a problem. No killing people left and right as of yet."

"Well, that's good." The man chuckled. "Now…If I may, Uzumaki-Sama…Why are you and Kurenai sharing a team?"

"I need to pass on my skills as a Fuinjutsu Master, and while Ayako is the obvious choice; her chakra control is lacking…severely. I figured that I could show her the family Fuinjutsu when she's older." The man nodded. "As for Yuuhi-San, well; she's a green Jounin and has a lot of skills to pass on when it comes to Genjutsu. However, Taijutsu isn't her strongest point, neither are her weapon skills. Basically, your Father wanted to give us both something to do. And, besides; with that Thing following me everywhere, it'll make taking missions of higher caliber much harder."

"I can hear you, you know." The blonde gripped.

"I know." Kushina replied, ticking the blonde off.

"Is that a safe thing to do, making him angry?" The black haired man asked Kushina quietly. The woman just stared at him. "Right…I'll…I'll just be over here."

"Sounds like a plan, Asuma-Chan." The man flushed, embarrassed by the suffix the woman had used for him. Turning back to the blonde, Kushina addressed him. "You, be quiet." The blonde grumbled but listened nonetheless.

00oo00  
Iruka's Classroom  
00oo00

Most of the student had been taken by Jounin, leaving only teams 7, 8 and 10 behind in the nearly empty classroom. No one spoke as they waited, each team sitting and waiting for their Jounin instructors to come and pick them up. The sound of the door to the classroom sliding open caught their attention. A man with short black hair and an unlit cigarette stuck in his mouth walked in and looked at them. "Team 10." He called out. A group of pre-teens, one girl with long platinum blonde hair; a boy with a short black spiky pineapple like hairdo and a husky boy stood up and walked towards him.

Once they left the classroom, a woman with long crimson hair and a woman with long curly black hair and blood red eyes walked in to the room.

"Hi Kaa-San! Hi Kurenai-Hime-Sama!" Ayako greeted her Mother and crush. Both women just nodded at her. Kushina looked around the room and pointed to a girl with short blue hair wearing a heavy cream colored hoodie, a boy with a puppy sitting on top of his head and a boy wearing a trench coat, sunglasses and his hair done up in a afro.

"You three are with us. Come." The tone of her voice left no room for argument or questions. The three pre-teens stood up and followed the two women to the door. Stopping at the door, Kushina turned around and addressed Team 7. "Your Sensei has a habit of showing up late. If you want him to stop showing up late, threaten him. Ayako, you know what to say." With that said, the woman left the room.

Turning to look at their homosexual teammate, both Sakura and Sasuke waited for her to say something. _"Haa~…_ Isn't Kurenai-Sama gorgeous? The way she walks; the way she conducts herself, her icy exterior that slowly melts away to show her inner warmth?" Sakura and Sasuke blinked, both slightly confused and scared of their teammate. "I just want to eat her up!"

00oo00  
With Team 8  
00oo00

After leading them far away from the academy, Kushina and Kurenai stopped at an empty training field before stopping and sitting down. The group of Genin had asked about the blonde teen following Kushina, but had been told not to speak until they were asked to. "Greetings, Genin." Kushina began after she sat down on the grass. She padded the ground with an open palm signaling the pre-teens to do the same. "What we're going to do, is introduce ourselves. Tell us your name, age, favorite and least favorite things; stuff like that."

"A-Ano…" Hyuuga Hinata stuttered. "C-Could you go-go first, Sensei?" Kushina looked at Kurenai for a second. The younger woman nodded and Kushina turned back to face the girl.

"Very well. But first…" she turned to face Naruto. "Give me the scroll I gave you to hold on to, Naruto." The blonde did as he was told, though he didn't seem too pleased to do so. Turning back to her students, Kushina began her introduction.

"My name is Uzumaki Kushina, I'm not going to tell you how old I am; because one, you won't believe me, and two; you should know that I'm old enough to be your Mother. You all know my daughter, Ayako." The three Genin nodded. "My favorite things include my daughter, the village and salt ramen. My least favorite things are babysitting and doing nothing at all. Now, I'm willing to bet that you're all wondering why you have two sensei, while everyone else has one. Well, that's because Kurenai is a freshly promoted Jounin and while she has a lot of experience under belt; she lacks in certain areas of instruction, such as Taijutsu and weapon skills. Also, I'll be teaching you Fuinjutsu, while Kurenai teaches you all the fundamentals about Genjutsu and deception." The raven haired woman nodded. She opened the scroll and ran through a bunch of seals before biting the tip of her right thumb; drawing blood, and wiping it on the scroll. The scroll instantly began to bellow smoke. Once the smoke was clear, a small pile of wooden blocks, all of which had different colors and with different characters on each side, resting on the ground. Kushina pointed to Naruto behind her.

"This is Naruto. He's my retarded half-cousin." The blonde glared at her. "He doesn't think he's retarded, but in reality; he is." The blonde scowled at her, causing the boy with the puppy on his head to laugh. Naruto took a step towards him, narrowing his purple eyes at him dangerously, only to have Kushina to place a hand on his shoulder and sit him down before sliding the pile of blocks toward him. She gave him a carefully guarded look that ordered him to play with them. Sighing, he did. Then she looked at Kiba. "However, I wouldn't make fun of him if I were you. He's exceedingly strong…Just retarded. I have to watch him because he has a really short temper, so he'll be joining us nearly every day." She motioned for Kurenai to begin.

"My name is Yuuhi Kurenai, and I am your one of your Jounin instructors. Like Kushina-Sama, I will not be giving you my age." The three pre-teens nodded. "I like to read, come up with new Genjutsu and relax while eating ice cream after a hard day's work." Kushina smiled softly and nodded. "I dislike perverts and chauvinistic pigs. I also detest people who smoke." She motioned for Hinata to begin.

"M-My name is Hyuuga H-Hinata. I like practicing m-medicine and he-helping pe-pe-people. I dis-dislike my clan. I-I am twelve years o-o-old." Kurenai nodded and motioned for the boy with the afro to go next.

"My name is Aburame Shino. I like insects. I dislike anyone who harms my insects. I am twelve years old." Kurenai nodded once again, as did Kushina before the redhead pointed at the boy with the puppy.

"Alright!" he began, smiling at the two female Jounin. "My name is Inuzuka Kiba, and this is my partner; Akamaru!" Naruto let out a loud snort, earning him a heated glare from the boy and his puppy, as well as a bop on the head from Kushina.

"Ouch!" he snapped, glaring at her. "What was that for?!"

"For being gross, Naruto-Chan." The woman replied in a sickly sweet tone, smirking inwardly. The blonde's eyes grew wide for a fraction of a second before the narrowed. "Now be a good boy and let Kiba finish." She picked up one of the blocks she had packed for the blonde Oni and placed it on top of another. Naruto knocked it over with a finger, causing the redhead to sigh dramatically and shake her head. Turning back to Kiba, Kushina motioned for him to continue.

"…I like steak and other red meats, I like training and playing with Akamaru. I dislike asshats like Sasuke and I hate blonde haired, violet eyed retards." He stated, glaring at Naruto; who had decided to play with the toddler toys that Kushina had brought for him to 'play' with. He was currently in the middle of making a castle…one block wide and several blocks tall. Kiba's insult didn't seem to affect him as he continued to place block after block on his growing castle. Kiba growled and plucked a pebble from the earth and hurled it at the blonde's castle…It hit somewhere in the middle, and thanks to the rough ground underneath the tower's base, the blocks slowly began to fall over. The group watched, two gleefully, though one was carefully hidden; two unsure how they should react, and one completely appalled by the feral boy's action. "Take that, ya' Moron!" Kiba shouted at the blonde as the blocks fell. Naruto just looked at him blankly. His large purple eyes boring into the feral pre-teen's, causing Kiba to squirm slightly before picking up a block in his right hand and crushing it in front of the parka wearing boy. Kiba gulped loudly.

"Alright…" Kurenai began, hoping to defuse the situation before it turned violent; "now, we're supposed to test you one last time before we take you on as our students. However, we've decided that you really don't need another test." The three Genin smiled. "We will begin our training tomorrow. Please meet us back here at 5:55am." With that said, the raven haired woman stood up. "Dismissed." The three Genin stood up. Turning to Kushina, Kurenai nodded at her; the redhead returned her silent farewell before turning to Naruto.

"Pick up your toys, Naruto-Chan." The blonde grumbled lowly but began to pick up the blocks. Hearing a snicker, the blonde looked up and found Kiba standing less than five feet away from him, smirking at him.

"Retard."

"K-Kiba-Kun!" Hinata stammered, earning both the feral pre-teen's attention and the blondes. "B-Be nice!"

"Aw, come on; Hinata-Chan!" the girl blushed slightly at the suffix the feral added to her name. "He's too stupid to do anything about it!" Naruto dropped the blocks and stood to his full height, which was only about 5'4", barely taller than the feral boy; and grabbed the boy by the front of his parka and hoisted him up in the air violently. "A-AH!"

"Stupid, huh?" Naruto began. Kushina turned to look at the blonde and scowled. "Look, Red may have told you that I'm a retard; but she's wrong…If you want to keep your ass connected to your body, Brat; then I suggest that you shut your damned mouth!" Kiba wanted to say something, but the look in the blonde's purple eyes kept him quiet.

"Naruto." Kushina growled. The blonde cast a sideways glance at the redhead and noticed the look in her eye. It was a look that told him that she would, if she found it necessary; she would activate the seal on his back and zap him into submission. He let go of Kiba's parka, dropping the feral boy on his ass before turning around, ignoring the blocks on the ground and stalking over to the redhead. Stopping next to the woman, the blonde whispered harshly into her ear.

"_Keep making fun of me, Woman; and you'll find out how demonic I can really be!"_ the redhead wanted to scoff and blow his warning off, but there was something deep down within her stomach that told her not to. The blonde then proceeded to walk away from her and her Genin squad.

00oo00  
Five Days Later  
00oo00

…

…

…

And that's where I left off nearly three years ago(with today being September 5, 2014). Honestly, I don't know what was supposed to come next, mainly because I kind of wiped it from my mind after talking with Kyugan(whom you can find via my Favorite Author's list, by the by.) and his information as well as help with what was supposed to be an adventure forth into the Naruto/Tenchi Muyo! crossover idea that I've held on to for so long now.

I debated whether or not to leave the information at the top that I originally had, but I decided to move it to the bottom(past this note) because after I looked at it, it made less sense than it does currently(with minor editing). I'll explain after cutting that section and pasting it after this paragraph.(Explanations in both Italic and within parenthesis).

Washu? Naruto? What's their relationship? What's Naruto's relationship to Ryoko? Well…They're all family! That's right folks, Naruto is a Hakubi through and through. So, what does this mean for the Naruto Universe? Simple. Chaos. Plain and simple.

Washu began to work on Naruto a couple hundred years after Ryoko was released into the universe, and planned to unveil(unleash)him upon trillions of unsuspecting people for the sheer heck of it; but Kagato's interference derailed that plan. Ignoring the 'unborn' specimen, Kagato only took what he needed, Washu and left. Fast forward a couple thousand years and Naruto's stasis tube malfunctions and awakens Naruto. After being unleashed inside Washu's laboratory, Naruto quickly finds an exit…Blowing a hole in the front door and flying off into space butt naked. _(At this point in time, I wasn't sure of when Kagato turned on/captured Washu and played around with Ryoko's person. Also, I didn't know how old Ryoko was either. I'll admit, I didn't do much research, but; then again, I was going almost completely off of memory too, and didn't have full access to the net like I do now.)_

Two thousand or so years after Naruto's 'birth', finds him on Ibonihs(made up word for the Naruto's Universe home planet used by a bunch of different people. Kudos to whoever thought of it first)sealed within a large oak tree outside Konohagakure. No one knows about him, having been sealed for roughly four hundred years within the tree; so, when the Kyuubi no Kitsune comes out to play(Madara can suck duck butt in this story; he didn't make the Kyuubi do anything) its power manages to crack the large tree slightly. After disaster is averted and the Kyuubi is sealed within three mystical gem stones, the crack in the oak tree that holds Naruto at bay doesn't heal; but instead, starts to grow.

_(An idea that I had was that Naruto was already on the same planet as the Ninja, but instead of being found as an infant within a spaceship, he was found by Juraians and sealed within a tree. Later, after several centuries, the Kyuubi's fight against the Yondaime and its failure to destroy Konohagakure, left some of the seals suppressing Naruto and his powers damaged and over time, freed him. Also, at this point in time, Naruto had three gemstones, like Ryoko. However, after Kyugan pointed out that Washu only has one set and making a second one would be both nigh impossible and insanely difficult to do; I have intended on reformatting that idea when I hope to have enough time and ability to write the kind of story I wish to. Also, I reformatted this version of the story to only have one gemstone and ironically, the Kyuubi never really entered the story. In mentioning, yes, but nothing concrete. Also, the Kyuubi wasn't sealed by Minato. He died defending his village from the beast, but he did not seal him. Think of it was a re-seal or something. Like I said, I wasn't going for realism this go around.)_

Twelve years after the attack and the oak tree that seals him is as good as dead(tree viruses) and in a wind storm, the top of the dead tree cracks and breaks; revealing a mummy in the middle of the stump. Two days later, while Mizuki is busy tricking a young girl into stealing the Scroll of Seals, Naruto comes out to play…_(As stated in the paragraph above, rather than bugs, tree viruses and whatnot, though sure, they could have attributed in some way, shape or form; the original downfall of the seals and the tree was because of the Kyuubi.)_

Some things are definitely different from the Canon!, like how the Kyuubi is sealed within three gem stones instead of a baby. Why? Because I felt like it…And, I can't write an OC character being the Kyuubi's host. I've tried it before…several times. Anyway…Kushina is alive…And kind of bitter and angry. She's lost her husband of only a couple years(if that), her 'son' turned out to be a daughter who likes older women and will do just about anything to be in a relationship with one(following Anko around wearing a dango outfit all day, and using her stealth skills to follow Kurenai and others) and has suitors from the village and other villages(Kumogakure) trying to win her heart all the while trying to train and instruct a small gaggle of Genin(daughter not included). She also has to dodge the Council's attempts to use her as a breeding pit for super babies.

_(Yeah, so…I was what…Twenty-one/twenty-two when I first came up the idea for this go around and the first thing that came to my mind when writing an OC Uzumaki was…Lets make it a 'she' and lets make her a lesbian…Why? Because I was younger, stupider and sexist. However, after reading Bleach and other manga where they have lesbian characters, I realized that Ayako was kind of on par with those types of Japanese styled lesbians. As for Kushina turning down men from the village and others, well; it goes like this: She just doesn't want to date anyone. At least not yet. I don't know if I had picked someone out for her, but since she's older than most of the men in the village who we meet who aren't ancient; it was kind of hard. Never mind the fact that this story came to mind right after the world had first learned of her name and what she looked like over all; and you get half assed pieces of plot that probably wouldn't have worked anyway…But still kind of fun to write. Also, the Council turning some young woman or widow who's still young enough to become pregnant and give birth to healthy babies plot device wasn't as beaten as it is today, so I added it in there mostly as an afterthought.)_

Naruto won't be a happy-go-lucky idiot, at least not the same way he was/is in Canon! He's an amazingly strong alien from outer space and he's _not_ afraid to kill people to get what he wants. He's also a purple blooded male being. Guess what that means. Come on, I dare you.

_(Yeah…I was pissed at seeing a lot of Yaoi stories pop up without good damned reasons for making the characters they made gay, gay. I personally have never believed in the cliché "Well, I kissed her and it was really…odd. I didn't think that people slobbered on each other while kissing. Either way, I'm not going to try again, because clearly that soggy kiss is the only kind I'll ever get from being with a female so I guess the only other choice for me is to suddenly become gay…Because, you know…pandering…". Also, there was a lot of 'Mega-Super-God-Powered Evil!Naruto' stories up and about at that time(and there still is a lot of those) where Naruto was a murdering son of a bitch who didn't care who he killed just so long as he killed people. Then, out of nowhere, after killing millions of weak people-because they were just that, weak-he sees (pre-Chuunin Exams)Hinata and then BAM! Like a bat to the nuts, he suddenly wants to bone her and keep her safe…While at the same time, killing everyone else who he deemed as weak. I don't believe in those kind of stories either. They make no sense. Anyway, the long explanation to this old bullet point was that Naruto was going to be an asshole, powerful and not afraid to show it; more than likely kill people who either deserved to be killed or because he felt like it; and later on, get jiggy wit' it with at least one, if not two women(though not at the same time.)_

_(OH! There was also, a long time; a URL link on my profile linking to an image of a Non-Canon!Kushina with a pair of studded tonfa. After playing some Dynasty Warriors 4-5, I changed it to bladed tonfa because I felt like it. Unfortunately, I don't have the link anymore...But yeah, that's what gave the idea for tonfa for Kushina.)_


	9. Space Adventures

Space Adventures

* * *

Staring out at the Shinobi Academy from his current location, behind the small counter of a small wares stall on the edge of the street; Uzumaki Naruto sighed longingly. His dream of yesteryear long gone; three years now, all on the account that besides creating his one, single, solitary jutsu; the Orioke no Jutsu, which had turned out to be a colossal failure in ways that he had no clue could happen to him; he had only one other skill: Crafting Fuuinjutsu; and only small, tiny next to worthless ones at that. He had no serious strength; having been bested by a six year old when he was nine in hand-to-hand combat, and he wasn't the best with throwing weapons; severing the tail off of the Daimyo's wife's cat had seen to his expulsion from the Academy. In fact, the only skill that he seemed to have that anyone actually needed; was the fact that he was sneaky-stealthy. But, then again; it apparently wasn't enough to keep him from being expelled.

His dream of becoming Hokage had ended more than three years prior and he had yet to find anything to replace it. Of course, being an orphan and being ignored by the majority of the villagers that lived around him didn't help his futuristic cause any. For instance, after being expelled; he had gone to the local samurai garrison. One of the oddest buildings in the village; built by a troupe of Ruroni several decades ago, the garrison had a habit of taking in almost anyone who wanted to try their hand at becoming a samurai; especially those who had failed in becoming a ninja or kunoichi. However; upon his arrival, several boys and a couple of the girls in training had pushed him back out of the dojo and off their property. Their reasons? Well, according to them and the elders at the dojo; he was both bad luck as well as inhabited by an evil spirit.

Thinking back on it now though, he wasn't sure he would have been able to keep up with the boys and girls at the dojo. He probably would have ended up as maintenance and left with clearing the grounds, cleaning the floors and cleaning the restrooms.

A hand reaching up for one of his wares caught his attention, though he kept his head facing the academy. He had learned during his first year; after receiving a tip from a foreign merchant in the village for business; that to catch a thief at market, a merchant had to keep his head facing one direction while keeping his eyes on everything they owned. It worked too. However, as he took the person in, a Genin by the looks of her; if her headband was anything to go by, she seemed much interested in the ware than lifting it. He kept his mouth shut as he continued to watch the girl. She had mousy brown hair, done up in two buns; one on either side of her head; and wore a pink Chinese styled shirt and a pair of dark green pants; similarly fashion as her shirt.

"Tenten!" A loud voice broke through the normal volume level that normally filled the street, breaking the girl's attention away from the ware and causing Naruto to flick an eye in the direction of the voice's owner. Charging down the street; less than twenty feet away, was a tall, lean boy wearing an all green outfit. His hair, short and oddly shiny in some regions; was kept in a bowl styled manner. He had two large, bushy eyebrows and wore two orange warmers; one on each ankle. "What'cha doing, oh wonderful teammate of mine?" Naruto's gaze flickered down to the metal headband he wore that had been set around his waist line.

"…Just looking for some seals that I can integrate onto my weapons." The girl said slowly, her tone low and disheartened. "Unfortunately, there are only two stands with seals; this one and another guy's on the other end of the street. That guy has better seals, but he's charging an arm and a leg for them. These ones are cheap but they aren't all that good." Ignoring the dig the best he could, Naruto removed his gaze from the two Genin and went back to looking at the Academy in the distance.

"Oh…" The green clad boy moaned as he took in the information. "I see…What kind is that in your hand?"

"A seal that wards fluids off of it, apparently." The girl spoke, again disheartened. "Not too useful if used on the blade, but if you placed it on the handle; any water or blood would run off quicker than it would it they weren't warded."

"My wards are instantaneous and powerful." Naruto butted into the conversation, startling both Genin apparently. Keeping his eyes on the Academy, Naruto ventured further with the specs of his craft. "All of my wards, unless stated by the info card that accompanies them; are instant. If you were to put that ward on the handle of a kunai and then drop it into a bucket of water, it would keep the water off of the handle of the kunai. Same goes for blood. The only thing it doesn't ward against would be acidic liquids."

"…Excuse me?" The girl began, "Did you say _your_ wards?"

"I did…Why? Is that so hard to believe?" Naruto asked, finally turning his head to look at the two Genin.

"Well…Yeah, actually; it is." The girl replied haltingly. "I mean, it takes years to develop seals; usually taking half a lifetime to become even remotely _good_ at the art…What you're talking about is beyond 'Good'…You're talking as if you're some sort of Fuuinjutsu Master or something."

"I'm not a master of anything." Naruto insisted. "However, I've always had an affinity for Fuuinjutsu. If I was a master, I don't think I'd be selling stuff like this on the streets." Both of the Genin looked at him oddly. "Anyway…If you're interested in it, it's fifteen Ryo."

"But the tag says twenty…" The green clad boy pointed out. Naruto glanced at the tag and shrugged it off.

"What's five Ryo?"

"The difference between food and no food?" The older boy retorted, his argument coming out slightly more rude than he obviously had intended it being from the blush that quickly rose upon his cheeks after his comment left his mouth. His female teammate apparently hadn't heard him speak like that either from the blush on her cheeks. Again, Naruto shrugged.

"Fifteen and it's yours." Naruto repeated. Tenten shook her head somewhat hesitantly.

"…I-I'll pay the price marked on the tag, if it's all the same to you…"

Sighing a somewhat frustrated sigh, Naruto opened up a small drawer that rested at stomach level and pulled out a series of red stickers. Plucking one off of the roll, the blonde grabbed a pen and marked it before shutting the drawer and reaching over the stand and slapping the new sticker on the ward. Ignoring the bright red blush adorning the girl's cheeks, and the green clad boy's wide eyes; Naruto settled back into his previous position and looked the girl right in the eyes; a small smile pulling at the corners of his mouth.

"B-but…"

"You are probably the only person who has any knowledge of seals and wards who hasn't called me either a second rate moron, a dumbass or a thief peddling stolen goods. You also gave me a fair comparison against the other merchant, and took a chance at picking price over quality. You have guts-though being a kunoichi, I guess that's something you have in spades-but either way, I like that in a customer."

"…I-I don't get it…" The boy in green stuttered. "She basically insulted your wares and you're giving her a discount…Shouldn't you be angry with her?"

Leveling the other boy a glare, Naruto opened his mouth to explain; "The merchant you were talking about earlier is something of a rival of mine. He set up shop about a year ago after seeing me selling a few of my wares and decided to take a piece of my profit margin. At first, he'd set up shop for a few days and then leave when he was out of goods to resupply and create more wares. However, earlier this year he decided to move to the village with his wife and sons. They've somehow managed to make more wares than I do and sell them for more than a pretty penny. Believe it or not, I did; at one time, charge about the same amount as he's charging for his now. Unfortunately, I'm not really well liked here; so his stand has been making more and more money. That's why my wares are so inexpensive."

"But if you aren't selling as much as you were before; don't you think the extra five Ryo loss will be needed in the future?" Tenten asked, suddenly wary for the blonde's personal health as well as his financial health. Naruto shook his head.

"Remember, I said I _used_ to sell wares for about the same price as he is now. Before he came, I sold more than enough to set myself up for a few years of low profit margins. Plus, it also helps that since I'm both a minor as well as an orphan; I don't have to pay a yearly tax on my earnings-not until I'm sixteen anyway; and by then, I hope to be out of here and in a different village." He looked at the seal in the girl's hand and continued; "Did you know, that it doesn't matter about the quality of the paper that the seal or ware is inscribed upon? That the only thing that matters is the solution that is applied to it after the seal's been applied, to allow for transfer of the seal from paper to object?" The two Genin shook their heads in unison, puzzled by the trade secret.

"Now before you stop me;" Naruto continued, holding up a hand to silent the two Genin; "anyone who knows anything about Fuuinjutsu knows that you don't have to use a special kind of paper. Most of us, myself included; use simple notebook paper without lines. We cut the paper and then doodle our craft upon the pieces. Then we coat them in a special lacquer and then place them inside a clear pouch or tie them up with string or wire to hang off of our stands. So, and remember this next time you purchase a ware from anyone's stand, mine included; that you're not paying for the seal as much as you think, that's not what we make money off of. It's the paper that makes us the money. It costs ten Ryo for a stack of blank paper; two-hundred count; and we turn around and sell the seals when everything is all said and done; anywhere ranging from twelve-hundred Ryo to two-thousand Ryo for the simplest seals. The lacquer costs two-hundred Ryo for a gallon; and from each gallon, depending on the size of the seal; I can make anywhere from two-hundred seals to four-hundred. Money is of no consequence to me at this point in time." The two Genin stood in front of him, shocked by the secrets shared with them.

"So, you want it?" Naruto asked the girl, this time completely ignoring her friend and teammate. The girl mulled it over, her eyebrows furrowing in thought as she warred with herself internally. In the end, she dug out her wallet-an interesting item for a girl to own; though maybe it was because she was a kunoichi rather than a simple civilian that she owned one-and pulled out the fifteen Ryo. Putting her wallet back in her pants pocket, the brown haired girl looked back at him, her chocolate colored eyes locking on to his one blue eye and his one violet eye. She ignored the fact that he had a heterochromia, as she had been doing throughout their conversation; something of which Naruto was happy about, though kept it hidden; and handed him the bills. Taking the bills from her, Naruto flipped them over in his hands, counting them quickly. Looking back up at the girl he smiled brightly, "Thank you for your patronage, Miss." He didn't bow, thought about it; but didn't. If he had, he would have missed the older girl blushing.

"…Oh! Shoot!" Naruto turned his head to look at the other boy, while the girl, Tenten; shook her head slightly before turning to face her teammate. "I became so enamored by what was going on here, listening to Vendor-San's tale of over pricing and common misleading of prices within the market place; that I forgot! Gai-Sensei sent me to find you, Tenten-San! We have a mission!" Naruto watched as the girl's face fell somewhat and he wondered internally if this 'Gai-Sensei' was a strict Jounin Sensei. From the way that the green clad boy was acting, he was probably correct in thinking as such.

"Sorry!" Tenten apologized as she turned back to look at him, earning an odd look from him as she bowed to him. "I wanted to ask you a few more things about seals and wards; but it seems as if Gai-Sensei grabbed our team another mission!"

Waving her apology off, Naruto informed her that while his shop usually closed at five in the afternoon; he usually opened around nine in the morning. If she had any more questions about his craft that she could meet up with him around one of those times. "Thank you again, er…"

"Uzumaki Naruto." The blonde stated. He waited for the usually looks of realization to appear on his customer's face, as well as her teammate; for them to become disgusted and for Tenten to ask for her money back…But it didn't happen. _'Peculiar…'_

-o-

Watching the two Genin race off to wherever they needed to be, Naruto idly wondered if he had passed-if he had any real talent-if he would have –or could have-ended up on their team. He didn't wonder about it for too long, as the sound of a shrill beeping made its self known. Glancing down as the counter that jutted out of his stand; a small electric clock flashed its red numerals at him. "Noon already, huh?"

-o-

Having closed up shop and securing everything, Naruto made his way towards the restaurants. Planning on avoiding the Ichiraku's having had a falling out with them when he was first expelled from the Academy; Naruto slowly sauntered down the street, his stomach rumbling with every other step.

Unfortunately, finding a place to eat at was almost as hard as finding a job. He had been able to eat at a few places; a dango shop, a sushi shop and a BBQ pit. Sure, he had to grease the owner's wheels with a large sum of cash after his seals started selling before he lowered his prices so drastically; but they let him in to eat. As he walked through the village, a familiar sight; entering an all too familiar stand, were the girl and the boy from about a half an hour before. Mulling it over in his mind, Naruto wondered if it was worth dealing with the Ichirakus' just to initiate the girl in conversation again. _'I'll be forced to order if I stay though…'_ But the prospect of talking to someone who had at least a _tiny_ amount of knowledge when it came to seals was extremely tempting. _'Eat alone and be stared at for an hour or so by people who dislike me for unknown reasons; or eat with someone who may wish to talk with me about a common subject…'_

Deciding to go to the stand, Naruto ventured forth; mentally preparing himself for whatever happened after he entered the stand. "-miso ramen, your chicken ramen, and here's your beef ramen with extra meat." Ducking under the flaps that separated one world from the other, Naruto stepped inside. "…N-Naruto?"

Ignoring Ayame, Naruto preformed a quick sweep of the counter. Sitting at the counter were one man, two boys and two girls. Of the group, the man wore the exact same get up as the boy who had been to his shop earlier, save for the fact that he was wearing a green flak vest. He was more than likely the group's Jounin sensei. To his left, was the boy from before; smiling up at the man, ignoring him in favor of talking to the Jounin.

On the man's right sat the girl, Tenten; who had turned her head in favor of looking to wherever and more importantly, whomever; Ayame was-at him. To her right sat a boy…Or was it a girl? No matter if it was he or a she; or even a he-she; it was a Hyuuga, and he stopped fiddling with his chop sticks in favor of glaring at him. Not bothering to stoop to the Hyuuga's level, Naruto turned his gaze to the last person sitting at the counter. At the end, leaving two seats between herself and the Hyuuga; sat a girl with long pink hair. Vaguely remembering a girl with long pink hair while he was at the Academy; he wondered if it was the same girl. However; after taking in the girl's appearance-her black and red gothic-lolita styled dress-he decided that no, it was not the same girl. Unlike the Hyuuga, she did not rise to challenge him. In fact, she ignored him completely; keeping her purple eyes on the bowl of ramen in front of her, seemingly lost deep in thought.

"Naruto?" Tearing his gaze from the pinkette, the blonde turned to Ayame and nodded at her somewhat stiffly.

"Ayame." The older girl, who had both grown up and out since he last saw her; seemed to smile a bit.

"…Y-You haven't been here in a while…" Ayame said, pausing slightly. "Would you like something to eat?" She asked, gesturing to an empty stool near the Hyuuga.

"…I guess I'll get something..."He pointed his gaze toward the board behind the girl and re-read the list. _'The last time I was here I'd just order half the damn menu…'_ He had, however since then; stopped eating as much. "I guess I'll have a bowl of salt ramen." Blinking at the order; Ayame haltingly wrote the order down on a pad of paper. "And a cup of tea as well; please." Not bothering to wait for the older girl to confirm his order; Naruto moved to sit next to the pinkette, who turned her head slightly in his direction; taking note of how close he was sitting next to her before turning her head back to her bowl of food.

"Oh!" The other boy, the one who had come to collect the brown haired girl from his stand earlier; was now pointing at him, somewhat rudely over the counter and patting the man in an attention grabbing manner-something that got the boy a disapproving look for from the man. "That's the boy, Sensei! He's the one who told the secrets of peddling seals and wards to Tenten-San and myself earlier!"

"Did he now?" The man said, turning his head to look at Naruto. Naruto turned to look at him and noticed that the man's eyes had narrowed slightly as he took in his appearance.

"I'm not leaving on your account," Naruto informed the man; unsure of whether or not the man would object to his presence like many others. "So if I bother in any way, shape or form; you can either deal with it, or leave." Instantly the man turned away; if ever so slightly, and a light blush adorned his cheeks. Coughing lightly, the man pasted a large, goofy grin on his face.

"N-No, it's nothing like that, Uzumaki-San…I was just amazed to see you dressed up like that." The man stated, earning the interest of the two remaining parties of his team. "Last time I saw you, you were dressed in an orange jumpsuit; trying to outrun the Chuunin after you accidentally injured poor Tora-Chan."

"Ah, yes…The act that got me expelled under threat of the Daimyo." Naruto stated blandly. His comment made some waves. From the miniature version of the man and Tenten, he earned looks of confusion and disgust; however mild it was, and from the Hyuuga, a small sardonic grin and a snort. "Funny how people remember the grim or stunning sides of situations over the reality of situations." He turned to the Hyuuga and knowingly pressed his luck, "Like how the Hyuuga use their own clan members as slaves." The boy's grin faded instantly; replaced by a red hot look of pure rage and anger. "But the people only see how fantastic the clan is, mostly because they have money and power. Most people would never dream of openly accusing them of using slave labor."

"I-Ignoring that comment, Uzumaki-San;" The Jounin stated, reaching around Tenten and placing a hand on the Hyuuga's shoulder in a restraining manner. "I was merely surprised to see you wearing something other than your jumpsuit."

Naruto looked down at his suit. It was a simple get up, long orange dress pants and a black belt tied around his waist; holding his orange dress shirt under her pant line. "I say that he looks rather handsome, myself." Naruto looked up at Ayame, a faint blush worming its way onto his face. Animosity or not, the older girl's words and small smile made him blush. He quickly put a lid on it and controlled it with a deep breath of air.

"Well, if you must know; since I was kicked out of the Academy, I decided to change my outfit as soon as I made enough money. It took me a while, but I succeeded." Naruto suddenly looked toward the back of the stand. Not seeing; or hearing, the elder Ichiraku; he pondered about hazarding a question about his lack of presence. Oddly enough, he didn't have to. Apparently, Ayame had seen his action and decided to answer his unspoken question.

"Dad's not here, Naruto." She began. "He's meeting with a contractor today."

"Really?" Naruto asked.

Ayame nodded, "He's been wanting to expand for a while now, but since our current location is too small to expand outward, he's decided to look for a new plot; a bigger lot so he can have a new restaurant built."

"That's…Great."

"…" Ayame frowned slightly but let the conversation she had tried to start up between the two of them fall. With a sigh, the older girl turned toward the back of the restaurant.

"Well, that's one way to rain on someone's parade." Tenten commented dryly, glaring at the blonde slightly. Naruto turned his head in her direction and shrugged.

"My history with her and her Father has nothing to do with you, Tenten-San." He quipped. "It's personal and that's the way it will stay." He took a sip of his tea that Ayame had set down in front of him while the Jounin had commented on his new attire.

"Then why bring it up in front of others if you wish for it to remain personal?" The Hyuuga asked, a snide look adorning his face.

"I didn't bring it up. If anyone brought it up it would be your Jounin sensei for asking about my outfit, seeing as that's where it all started from." The blonde retorted. "Note how I didn't ask where her Father was; nor did I want to know."

"I'm sure." The raven haired teen replied shortly. "Then why, pray tell; if you have some sort of personal vendetta against this establishment and its owners; then why come here at all?"

"Actually, my plan was to stay away from this location." Naruto began, pausing to take a sip of tea before placing the cup down on the counter. "The only reason why I came here was because I saw Tenten-San walking into the establishment. Seeing as she's the only person around my age that has an interest in the sealing arts; I sought to speak with her about it. Apparently that was asking for too much." He gave a flat look to the Jounin and then back to the Hyuuga. "Bad memories were unearthed by someone who has had no interaction with me previously-very rude, by the way-" Gai blushed, embarrassed by his own actions and careless thinking. His miniature clone frowned and glared at the blonde somewhat but stayed silent. Tenten scowled and the Hyuuga remained smirking. "and a long haired bitch of a boy has been treating me like shit ever since I sat down." Sliding off of the stool, Naruto dug his hand down into his pocket and dug out his wallet. Opening it, he grabbed several billfolds and placed them on the counter. Placing his wallet back in his pocket, Naruto turned around and left the stand; leaving the Genin team, their embarrassed Jounin and the silent pinkette at the counter.

"How rude!" The younger version of the Jounin sensei spat, glaring at the flaps that the blonde had flung out of his way when he left. "Don't you think so, Gai-Sensei?"

"Lee; I brought up painful memories…" The man said softly. He wore no smile as he spoke. "Even though I didn't mean to; he had every right to view it as an insult."

"He was much nicer earlier, though." Tenten stated softly.

"Tch." The team turned to the Hyuuga, a small; victorious grin lighting his face as he pulled a pinch of noodles from the broth filled bowl that sat in front of him. "If he wants to sulk and show his true colors, let him. It's none of our concern, Tenten." He lifted the pinch to his mouth; ready to ingest them when he stopped. Turning his head to his female teammate, he narrowed his eyes slightly; "You said he made and sold seals and wards; correct?" Tenten nodded. "You should probably demand a refund. Someone his age, making seals and wards? Impossible." He finally loaded the pinch of noodles into his mouth; ending his part of the conversation instantly.

"Alright, Naruto! Here's your b…owl…" The Genin team and their sensei, minus the Hyuuga; looked up to find Ayame, holding a fresh bowl of ramen in her hands; steam rolling out of the bowl as it sought higher altitudes. "…He left?"

"After insulting your family," The Hyuuga intoned, "but yes; he did." He nodded to the pile of bills on the counter. "At least he paid before he left."

"Urr!" Ayame, Tenten and the Jounin turned to the miniature version of the Jounin, eyes narrowed; eyebrows looking like angry, jittering caterpillars; holding a pair painfully clenched fists as he looked down at the counter. "Gai-Sensei insulted him…I understand that now…But insulting Ayame-San and Teuchi-San?! Who does he think he is?!"

The sound of the bowl of salt ramen being placed on the counter caught the attention of the Genin team and their sensei. "Well, that was actually a lot better than I thought it was going to be, to be honest." She said softly, seemingly addressing herself more so than her patrons.

"That was _better_ than you thought?" Lee asked, appalled by her words. "What, did you think he was going to hurt you or something, Ayame-San?" When the waitress-slash-cook didn't answer, Lee's rage doubled. "Why tha-"

"You don't know what he was like the first time he came here, Lee-San…" Ayame started. "Back then, while he had been coming here for nearly two years already; he was still somewhat of an angry boy. In fact, the first time I saw him was back when I was nine years old. I had just started helping Father here at the stand when he showed up; the Hokage dragging him through the door. He was small, thin and covered in dirt and scratches. He had, not even an hour earlier; caught trying to stab another boy because of what he and his friends had done to him earlier in the week."

"And the Hokage treated him to lunch?" The Hyuuga asked, wondering why on earth the Hokage would endorse such behavior.

"He didn't treat him to lunch as you might think, Neji-San." Ayame replied, shaking her head. "He got lunch, sure; but he didn't get off Scott-free either. I don't know what the punishment was, Naruto never talked about it; but when he came back, he came on his own; and paid for his own meal. The money was loaned to him from the Hokage, but he was paying for it on his own. He didn't glare at us, instead; he was very happy that we didn't kick him out like so many other places had done before."

"If you were so nice to him, why does he treat you like crap now?" Lee asked, still seething.

"…That would be my Father's fault." The older girl admitted. "You see, when Naruto was expelled from the academy; he was taken off of the Orphan's Aide program. You only get to be on said program-"

"If you're attending the Academy." Tenten finished. "Both Lee as well as myself are orphans." The waitress-slash-cook blushed slightly but nodded.

"R-Right…Sorry…" Shaking her head, trying to get her thoughts collected; Ayame took a deep breath before continuing. "…Since he got expelled, his assisted living benefits stopped coming in almost immediately. Realizing he was in a pickle, he started running around the village; asking everyone if they needed hired help. No one wanted to hire him. Finally, with the last of his money; he came here and ordered a single bowl of ramen-back then, he usually ate four or five-" Everyone save for Gai's face greened slightly at the mention of the amount of ramen the blonde used to eat. "After ordering his meal and after Father had placed it in front of him; Naruto asked Father if he needed any extra help around the shop. My Father said that while he was in fact looking for help; he couldn't hire Naruto. When Naruto asked why, my Father said something stupid."

"He said, _"Naruto, I can't hire you. I know you love ramen …But for the sake of my business, I can't hire you. Not only would you eat our entire stock of ramen; you'd end up driving away business without trying."_" Ayame paused and looked downward. "Father didn't mean it the way it came out, but it was the truth. You see, in the two years that Naruto had started coming here to eat; he had changed from a dirty, unfed orphan who liked to hurt people in retaliation; to a little boy who just wanted attention. He started pranking people left and right, and in turn; making of lot of people angry with him. If Father had hired him, we would have lost so much money that we would have been forced to close down. Father was just thinking about our future…_My_ future." Ayame trailed off for several moments, once again collecting her thoughts. "Naruto hurled the bowl of ramen at Father and ran off. We didn't see him for over three weeks."

"Within that time frame, Father had been thinking about what he said and how he said it and told me that he wanted to apologize for the way he had told Naruto that he wasn't going to hire him…And even…Even to go as far as allow him to stay with us until he could find a job. But, as you saw; he never got a chance." Ayame turned to Lee and stared at him for several seconds, her eyes narrowed a bit; "So, yes; when I say that this went a lot better than I had thought it would have gone; I meant it. You don't want to piss Naruto off. If he's anything, he's vindictive-almost by nature."

'_If he's so vindictive, then why was he so nice to me and Lee earlier? Just trying to make a sale?'_ Tenten wondered. "You said that you saw him afterward…What'd he do when he saw you? Run?"

"…No…He ignored us, really. Occasionally we'd find a bag of burning dog crap in front of our stand for the first several months after he and Father had their falling out. He never gave us chance to apologize." Ayame stated glumly. As Team Gai either frown, wondering about the boy and his problems with the ramen stand; or continued to ignore most of the conversation in favor of hiding snide looks and comments; the pinkette at the end of the counter quietly pushed herself away from the counter; pushing herself off of the stool. Stand erect, the girl grabbed at her dress and pulled out an odd shaped wallet; opened it up and pulled several bill folds out. Placing them on the counter, she turned around and left silently. "A-Ah!" Ayame tried to call out for her, to ask her how her meal was; but the girl ignored her. Shoulders slumping greatly, she sighed; "I'm not having a very good day today…"

'…_I'll teach that guy the errors of his way some day, Ayame-Chan…And I'll force him to apologize to you and Teuchi-San!'_ Lee told himself as he watched the older girl sulk; his knuckles whitening from the pressure he was putting on them as he clenched his hands into fists. _'Just you wait!'_

-o-

Deciding to head right out of the ramen stall, Naruto maneuvered down the street toward one of the small grocery stores. With the argument and insults both dealt and dished, he really didn't feel like eating a whole lot anymore; so rather than going to a restaurant and ordering a meal that he probably wouldn't finish; going to the grocery store and grabbing a few snacks and a canned drink would suffice.

'_One again, my plan went down in a fiery blaze of idiocy.'_ He told himself as he walked. _'I can walk the walk of someone who doesn't care anymore…But I can't talk the talk.'_ Then again, the Genin team had no right to butt in about his personal life; especially not Tenten or her teammates. On the other hand though…he had been a complete dick to all of them. _'Why the hell do I care about them anyway? No one, save for the Hokage-and he only cared about me for a couple of years-has openly cared about me.'_ He was alone. The lone fish in a gigantic ocean full of other fish. And because it seemed as if he was the single, solitary lone fish in said ocean, he needed to use everything he had to survive and then; hopefully later one, migrate to a different part of the ocean. Even if using everything he had meant being a rude dick to people, then so be it. He had already been doing so for several years; being a dick a little longer wouldn't hurt anything.

Turning toward the grocery store he frequented, Naruto saw a flash of pink, black and red out of the corner of his eyes. Turning his head in that direction, Naruto found that the silent pinkette from the ramen stand was walking past him on her way to get to her next destination. He stopped and looked at her for a bit, taking in her odd choice in clothing. No one within the village wore clothes like that. No one. It was as if she was asking to be different; and from years of personal experience, being different in this village; going against the status quo was a good way to be shunned by the majority of the village.

As she walked away, Naruto noticed that she unconsciously swung her hips as she walked; perhaps suggesting that she was a bit older than he had first thought. Suddenly, the girl stopped and turned her head in his direction and narrowed purple eyes latched on to his blue and instantly; Naruto began to feel insecure, as if the girl was emitting some sort of energy that was just waiting to grab a hold of him and hurl him several blocks away. Thankfully, nothing of the sort happened. Instead, the girl opened her mouth; showing a full set of pearly white teeth and a single, odd fang that protruded a bit further down; but not so far down as to poke through her mouth when it was closed. "Perverted pig."

Blinking in surprise and confusion, Naruto watched the girl as she turned her head back around and began to walk away again; this time a bit faster than before. Flushing, Naruto turned his head away from the girl's retreating backside and stood still for several seconds, collecting himself before turning toward the grocery store once again.

-o-

With a rough grinding noise, the front door to a fairly small, dark two room apartment swung inward. With orange rays of sunlight coming from the hastily retreating sun outside; a single, somewhat short statured figure entered the apartment and closed the door behind them. With the light now gone, the figure slapped the wall to their right and found a small plastic switch. Flipping the switch with a snap, an old light fixture that rested inside the ceiling in the middle of the main room turned on. Throwing his arms up over his head, Naruto stretched with a loud yawn as he kicked off his shoes and made his way toward the small, love seat that rested upon the back wall of the living room-slash-kitchen.

Falling down on to the cushion, Naruto leaned back and stared up at the ceiling in silence. Tired and still angry at how the day had done, how he had been insulted and how he had handled the situation; as well as trying to shake the uneasy feeling that the pinkette had left in the center of his stomach, Naruto could positively say that he was absolutely drained. Staying there, looking up at the ceiling for several moments, Naruto yawned again. Taking half a second to glance at the clock that hung high on the wall opposite the love seat; he took in the time. _'Not even eight and I'm beat.'_ Watching the hands turn slowly over the next several minutes, Naruto decided to go and take a shower before going to bed.

-o-

"…This is the device that Onee-Chan made for me." A purple eyed girl stated as she stared at the small ring shaped device. "I guess that could get me back to a space fairing planet…" The girl told herself as she sat in the bowels of her hidden, though disabled ship in the forests that surrounded the village she had been staying in for the last few days since her crash landing. _'Onee-Chan's inventions always have something wrong with them though…All of them. The Pyon-Pyon Warp-Kun that Onee-Chan first made could only teleport someone short distances…And left them naked…'_ a bright red blush lit upon her face as the thought of her teleporting somewhere without her clothes wracked her mind. Her flushed face quickly turned stark white as the thought of her ending up in some sort of slum or brothel crossed her mind. She placed the ring down and backed away from it slightly. Shaking her head violently, the pinkette clicked her tongue before picking the ring back up. _'There is no other way though…My communications are damaged to the point where the only races of beings I can talk to haven't even made it out of their own solar system…No...I'll mark this planet and then jump…It's the only way.'_

Gripping the handle on a small drawer, the pinkette pulled it out. Looking down at the medley of items within the drawer; two blaster pistols, a memory eraser-something of which she plucked out of the drawer instantly just in case she landed on a planet who had tried to persuade her Father into marrying her Onee-Chan to their prince-an special bottle of water that never ran dry-used to dissuade her twin from molesting her-and finally, a tracking device. Slamming the drawer shut, the pinkette turned the tracking device on; copied down its frequency; and then slapped it under the dash of her small, invisible ship.

Making sure that she had everything she needed, to which the girl opened the drawer again and grabbed her two pistols and then placed them in holsters that rested on her upper thighs, hidden under her dress. Slipping the ring on, the pinkette closed her eyes, wished with all her might; and then activated the ring.

A blinding white light filled the ship and with a whirring noise and then an explosion of smoke; the pinkette vanished from the interior of the ship.

-o-

Lying down in his bed, Naruto stared up through the small window that rested near his bed; much like how he had his bed set up in his first apartment; and watched as the stars twinkled brightly from beyond the planet's atmosphere. _'I wonder what it's like up there…'_ He pondered idly. _'I bet it's better than living here…No idiotic villagers glaring at me for no reason whatsoever…Actually, are there any people out there?'_ No. There couldn't be anyone from beyond the stars…Could there? Surely they would have visited by now, right? Shaking his head, Naruto continued to stare out at the night's sky. A small, slender strand of light racing across the sky caught his attention. _'A shooting star…'_ There was an old wives tale about shooting stars. Not that he believed it…But…Quickly taking a quick glance around his room, Naruto returned his gaze to the sky; to the traces of the shooting star's trail. "I wish that something exciting would happen to me…Possibly even helping me get out of here…"

He waited for several moments, his wish lingering on in his mind as he waited to see whether or not anything would happen. When nothing happened, the blonde shifted his body; and his gaze away from the sky and looked down at his floor. "Of course not…It's just an old wives tale…" He spat. Closing his eyes, Naruto tried to prepare himself to be taken by sleep.

Feeling himself drifting away from his bed, from his body; Naruto allowed his brain to ease its self…That is, until a bright white light broke through his eyelids. His mind suddenly wide awake again; the enticing tendril of sleep that had been playing with him gone; he snapped his eyes open…Only to close them once again.

Bright white light had filled his room, illuminating everything; including an old sock that had been missing for over a year; stuck behind his small bed stand. The light gave off no noise as it shone through the night. Slipping a hand blindly under his pillow; Naruto grabbed a short, but thick stick and readied it; just in case he needed to defend himself from whatever was happening.

Waiting there, in his bed; eyes closed, for the light to subside, Naruto waited; ready to strike if needed. He wasn't sure how long the light had lasted, but it was longer than thirty seconds to be sure; and, it was still shining. Suddenly, the light intensified greatly, forcing Naruto to flip over and face the other way; eyes still clenched shut; to avoid eye damage.

Suddenly, there was a loud thud and, with the thud; the light vanished completely. Cracking his eyes open slightly, Naruto noticed that his bed room seemed darker than usual; though it was probably because of the light that had just subsided. Hearing dull, pain filled groans from the right of his bed; Naruto flipped over quickly, wooden stick in hand; ready to beat down whatever or whoever had appeared in his room. Arm held high in mid swing, Naruto found himself staring at the most bizarre thing he had ever bore witness to…It was also probably the most erotic thing he had ever played witness to as well. There, in front of him; held up in the air, was a perfectly shaped, well toned naked butt. A _female_ butt quivering slightly directly in front of his face; less than a foot away.

Female parts showing for the darkened world around it to see, a few strands of pink hair protruding out over the vaginal region; a natural defense against voyeurs and dirt and grime, Naruto's free, peep show was ended just as suddenly as it had started; when a long, thin, black tail with a heart shaped point poked him in each eye. "YE-EOUCH!"

Forcing himself not to drop his wooden stick, Naruto slammed his hands-and stick-over his eyes; extracting another painful holler from himself. "Gah! What the hell!?"

"P-P-P-PERVERTED PIG!"

-o-

Something was wrong. She knew it from the moment she had been teleported from her ship. She felt lighter, colder. The moment she felt her toes touch solid, wood-cold wood at that-that she was naked. Her dear Onee-Chan's invention had not yet been fixed and had sent her sprawling through time and space butt naked. Instinctively fearing for her purity, she tried to curl her knees to her chest; only to be stopped short as she fell face first, her face slamming against hard wood. A painful moan escaped her lips.

The sound of something bouncing on something soft behind her forced her to open her eyes out of fear. Looking back through the darkness that encased what appeared to be a room; she could see her rear end held high in the air; as if she were some sort of eight legged canine stretching her front end. She also saw something else. From a bed, was a blonde haired human, his left hand held high in the air; though not moving, a stick with a lightly glowing emblem inscribed on it; that had clearly been on its way down to deliver a blunt, painful blow to her. Thankfully, he had stopped…

…A feeling of pure feminine anger and rage washed throughout her body as she noted what the blonde's blue eyes were trained on…Her naked rear; her womanly parts, exposed to a Neanderthal. So mesmerized by her naked form; she willed her tail to steel itself and then commanded it to spear the human pig in each eye. The painful bellow he let out was almost as satisfying as when he slammed his own stick against his face. "Gah! What the hell!?"

"P-P-P-PERVERTED PIG!"

Jumping to her feet, she grabbed for her holsters; only to realize that her holsters; and the blasters they carried, weren't there any longer. Noting that the human male was slowly taking his hands away from his eyes, she shoved her left hand down over her womanly bits and reached out with her right and grabbed the stick away from the boy. Using it to her own advantage; she slammed it against the top of his head. What followed she was not prepared for.

As soon as she slammed the stick against the boy's head, several miniature bolts of lightning arced forth from the engraved handle and shocked the boy violently…A smile appeared upon her face…Until the tiny bolts doubled back and raced up her right arm, shocking her just as violently. Her body shaking violently, she could feel something foreign take her by the loins. She dropped the stick, trying to stop shocking herself; and tried to back away from it. Unfortunately, as she took her first step back; her legs buckled and she fell backwards onto the hard wood floor below. With her body shaking violently, she could barely feel her bladder give way under the voltage.

-o-

Still twitching from the shock, Naruto opened his eyes to see what had happened. The girl, the human looking girl with an animal tail; had grabbed his stick from him, that much he knew. She had smacked him and shocked him; just as the tool was meant to do. However, apparently; the seal he had inscribed on the stick was faulty as he found the stick on the floor; sparking slightly, and the girl-who turned out to be the girl from earlier that day, the one who had called him a 'perverted pig'-was quaking on the floor. Taking in a breath of air through his nose, gaining a zap of residual electricity for his efforts; he thought that he smelt something odd and out of place. Rubbing his nose, Naruto took two short, quick breaths of air through his nose; neither of which earned him a zap. The strange smell suddenly filled his nose. Urine. Someone had inadvertently let their bladder go as a side effect of being electrocuted.

Right hand flashing out painfully to his right; to the small stand by his bed, Naruto reached under the small bed side lamp and turned it on. With its fake light filling the room, Naruto could see the girl on the floor easily, her long pink hair; disheveled, an odd black tail with a heart shaped tip wriggling from underneath the pinkette, a pool of shiny liquid pooling out over his floor that seemed to have started from-a rush of blood filled his head and suddenly, he felt light headed. An odd, unfamiliar feeling began to well up from between his legs. Slapping a hand down over his manhood; Naruto discovered something else that he had missed…The odd, naked girl lying on his bedroom floor wasn't the only one who had pissed themselves while they were being electrocuted.

"Y-Y-YO-OU P-P-P-P-PEP-P-PERV-VERT-TED P-P-PIG!" The girl roared out, her words stammered and her teeth clattering as she hollered. Naruto looked up from his nether regions, to which he looked at after feeling the warm, liquid that had seeped from his loins and stared at her. She was slowly pushing herself up, and her purple eyes were full of brimming anger as she locked on to where his hands were. "D-DISGUST-T-TING P-P-PIG!"

"B-But I-I'm-" A slipper slammed into his mouth, filling the entirety of his mouth as he tried to explain that he was not doing what the girl obviously though he was doing.

Pushing herself up into a sitting position, the girl finally stopped twitching long enough to cover her breasts and look herself over. From the way her body froze suddenly told Naruto that she had discovered that she had pissed herself during the electrocution. Despite his budding hormones telling him that seeing her naked; having peed herself or not, was a good thing; he couldn't help but feel sorry for her. Taking the slipper out of his mouth, Naruto worked his jaw for a few seconds before addressing the pink haired girl. "…T…There's a shower right outside and to the left…" He girl snapped out of her embarrassed trance and glared heatedly at him. "Y-You can use that i-if want!" He turned his head away, trying to advert his eyes from her naked body.

"…" She seethed as she glared at him, covering her nether regions with her left hand. "…Only because I'm in this situation…" she began softly, though her voice was laced with anger. "…But if you spy on me…" She snapped her fingers and an odd spark of red and green energy escaped the girl's hand. The spark floated down beside the girl and landed on the floor. Suddenly, the spark expanded; and with a brilliant flash of light, a large, reptilian like insect sat on the floor.

Naruto stared at it fearfully. It was big, almost as big as an adolescent tiger. It had two long appendages that protruded from its back and bent forth over its large plated head. From the two appendages were two large blades of bone. The blades themselves seemed to part away from the head, where all that the blonde could see were two tiny eyes and a large mouth full of nothing but nasty saliva and large serrated teeth; ready to tear into him at a moment's notice. The beast had four legs and at the bottom of each leg were feet with two large claws. Its tail hung down behind its rear; pointing down at the floor. The sad thing was, Naruto noted as he gulped fearfully; was that the tail was probably the safest part of the monster's body with only a few small pointed barbs that jutted out a few inches away from the tip of its tail.

"I-If you so much as peek on me, this Zergling will rip you to shreds; understand me, Neanderthal?"

Normally, being insulted would have set him off…However, having just inadvertently pissing off a girl with a tail who could summon monsters with a snap of her fingers insult him…He'd let them slide…A Hyuuga bitch of a boy was one thing; but a monster was another. Nodding, fully understand the implications of what would happen if he dared peek on her while she cleaned up; Naruto turned away and stared out his window.

"Come, Zergling…" The girl commanded. The padding of human feet accompanied by reptilian-insect claws against the wooden floor sent shivers up his spine.

Once the two were gone, Naruto turned around and stared at himself for a few seconds before looking at his bed and his floor. He has peed his bed and the girl had inadvertently relieved herself all over his bedroom floor. The smell was becoming noxious now and he needed to clean it up. Pushing himself off of his bed, Naruto walked to the door of his room, checked out side to make sure that the girl had been able to find the bathroom-which, if the Zergling-creature-thing who was standing in front of the door was any indication; she had-and zipped by the small corridor to the kitchen to grab paper towels, bleach and sponges. The monster started clicking at him as he raced by the corridor.

Getting to the kitchen safely and starting to pile up cleaning supplies into his arms, Naruto walked back to his room. The monster was clicking madly at him as he passed and he hoped that it wouldn't charge him. _"What's going on out there, Zergling?"_ The sound of the girl's voice filtering through the bathroom door sent chills up Naruto's spine. He quickly stepped into the archway of his room and placed his hand on the door, ready to close it behind him; cutting himself off from the monster. _"Those must be cleaning supplies…Let him clean his mess."_

'_My mess? If you hadn't hit me with that stick then we wouldn't be in this predicament in the first place!'_ Then again, if he had hit her with the stick; it might have happened anyway. As he slumped to his knees and grabbed the bottle of bleach, he realized that he forgot to get water. Standing up again, he opened the door and slipped out and raced off to the kitchen. Grabbing a bucket from under the sink, he began to fill it up. A shriek of surprise filled the apartment and Naruto quickly shut the tap off and ran to the edge of the corridor. The monster instantly started clicking its jaws and growling at him. "A-Are you okay?" he asked.

"_No!"_ the girl shrieked. _"The water got really cold all of a sudden!"_

'…_Crap…Better not let her find out that that was me.'_ He slipped back around the corner and went back to get the bucket of water. Yanking it out of the sink with little effort; seeing as it was only a quarter of the way full; the blonde boy made his way back to his room, ignoring the monster as it clacked and clicked and growled at him the best he could.

Shutting his door behind him, Naruto let out a sigh before grabbing the bleach and twisting the top off. Pouring some of the powerful cleaning chemical into the bucket of water, Naruto watched as the water took on a bubbly nature and the odor changed from that of a slightly mildew covered bucket to a bucket that smelled like bleach. It burnt his nose and made him nauseas but he knew he'd have to stomach the smell. Grabbing the roll of paper towels Naruto unrolled several sheets and folded them up before laying them to rest on the drying puddle of urine on the bedroom floor. Repeating the action several more times, Naruto realized that he had forgot another important part of his cleaning supplies. A trash bag.

Opening his door and racing out of his room, he made it to the kitchen, grabbed the entire box of trash bags and then ran back toward his room. However, halfway across the corridor that led to his bathroom, a voice stopped him. _"…D…Do you have any spare c-clothing I could borrow?"_

"…Not any for girls, no…" Naruto replied slowly. "B-But…um…I…I think I may have an old outfit you could wear for now…Let me check…I-If not…I'll bring you a pair of shorts and a t-shirt…" He didn't bother waiting for a reply before slipping into his room. Setting the box of trash bags on the floor; away from the puddle of urine, he tip-toed to his closet and opened it. Looking up at the rack, the only clothes he could find were his dress shirts and dress pants. Frowning, Naruto closed his closest door and turned to the small dresser at the foot of his bed. Walking over to it, he yanked the top drawer open. Underwear stared back at him. Not knowing if the weird girl would want a pair; he grabbed a pair from the back of the drawer and set it on top of the dresser.

Opening the next drawer and then the third one down, Naruto could only find socks and undershirts. Realizing that there was only one drawer left; he hoped to Kami that he still had a pair of shorts somewhere. He could lend her one of his dress shirts; but the pants would probably slip right off of her waistline, even with a belt. He really didn't want the monster to eat him. Opening the last drawer, Naruto found; to his relief, that there were several pairs of shorts. No t-shirts, but that was okay. Grabbing a pair of shorts; a pair with an elastic waistline, he gathered up the pair of boxers and went back over to his closet, opened it up and grabbed an orange dress shirt.

With clothes in hand, he made his way to the door of his room, opened it and then stepped in front of the corridor. The monster growled his presence to the girl. _"Leave them in front of the door and then go away!"_

"O-Okay…" Naruto tip-toed toward his bathroom, fearful that the girl might sic the monster at him regardless of what he did; clothes outstretched in front of him. The beast snarled at him as he approached but did little else. Still not at ease, Naruto stopped in front of the beast and placed them on the floor and then stood up and slowly backed away. "I-I left them in front of your Zergling-thing…I-I'm going to go back into my room now…" He backed away slowly but loudly, allowing the girl to hear the footsteps through the door. As soon as Naruto could see the corners of the door that separated his room from the rest of the house; he quickly ducked into it and slammed the door behind him.

Leaning against his door, heart beating loudly in his chest; sweat pouring off of his body, he tried to catch his breath. _'A foot away!'_ he told himself. _'A foot away from death!'_ He shook his head and wiped at his brow.

After catching his breath, Naruto moved to the box of trash bags and grabbed one out of the box. Unfolding it and opening it up, he moved over to the covered puddle of urine; which had been soaked up mostly by either the wood beneath it; or the paper towels laid atop of it; and began to pick the towels up and throw them in the bag.

Once the paper towels were gone, Naruto tied the bag shut and moved to dip his hands in the bucket of water and bleach. After soaking his hands for several seconds; he moved to the sponges and plucked one from the package they came in and dipped it in the bucket. Once soaked, he lifted it from the water and squeezed the excess back into the bucket before placing it down on the floor where the girl had peed on earlier.

It took him several minutes of intense scrubbing-and only for one small portion of where the puddle once covered-for him to be happy with it. Dipping the sponge back into the bucket and again, wringing out the excess water; the blonde began to scrub a different section of the old puddle.

-o-

Staring at the clothes that the boy had brought her, the pinkette was not happy. He had brought her clothes, yes; but they were anything she would have dared to wear. Not ever. Yes, she; like her twin, could deal with wearing the human male version of underwear known as 'Boxers' on most planets; and she could deal with the fancy shirt. She could even deal with the shorts that almost fit snuggly around her waistline-almost being the keyword...But what she couldn't deal with was why all the clothes he had given her; save for the shorts, which were black; were orange. _'Orange is a nice color to look at. Not to wear!'_ The girl told herself as she dried her hair with a towel. Shaking her head with a scoff, she reached for the door handle and twisted it. Pulling the door open, she found the Zergling she had summoned lying on the floor; drooling on the wooden panels. Frowning, she snapped her fingers once again and the monstrous beast vanished in a purple flash.

Wandering out to the end of the corridor, she noted that the door to the boy's room was shut. Placing an ear to the door, she could hear grunting and the sloshing of water. Placing a hand on the handle and twisting it gently, so as not to alert the boy inside; she pushed the door open slightly and peered in.

There, on the floor; where she had inadvertently urinated-thanks to the boy's odd stick; which was still on the floor where it had been since she dropped it-was the blonde haired boy scrubbing the floor with a sponge. She could smell the obnoxious odor that came from the bucket in the middle of the room. _'Bleach…'_ she told herself. Backing away from the door and turning around; heading for what appeared to be a small living room that opened into a kitchen of some sort; she wondered just how many planets had Bleach. So far, she had been to twenty-eight that had the chemical.

Seeing the love seat on the wall, the pinkette decided that it was safe enough for her to sit down on and rest on while the blonde cleaned the mess in his room.

-o-

Arms tired and stinging, hands and fingers that looked like shriveled prunes and three trash bags later; Naruto opened the door to his bedroom and began to drag the bags out of his room. Each bag contained stuff. One was full of soiled paper towels, one was full of bed sheets and used sponges while the last one contained his comforter. Dragging the three bags toward the front door, Naruto looked over at his couch to find the pink haired girl sitting on it, wearing an odd mixture of his clothes, glaring at him. Shying away, he continued pulling the bags through his apartment.

Setting the bags down in front of his front door, Naruto turned back and headed for his room. He felt the girl's glare on his back as he walked through his apartment again and tried to ignore it. Disappearing into his room, he reappeared with the bucket of water, no longer a clear-white bubbly concoction; but a dirty, nasty puddle of sludge. He carried the bottle of bleach in his other hand and walked them over to his kitchen.

Dumping the bucket out into his sink, he ran the tap to try and force the dirty water down the drain quicker while he set the bleach back under the sink. Once done, he turned the tap off and walked slowly back toward his room.

Doing his best to ignore the pink haired trespasser, Naruto disappeared once again into his room to collect some clean clothes before reemerging only to slip down the corridor that led to his bathroom.

-o-

She watched as the blonde walked out of the corridor that led to his bathroom dressed in clean clothes; a plain white shirt and a pair of pants; and walked over to stand in front of her. The look on his face was one full of wonder, confusion and exhaustion. His ocean blue eyes bore into her purple eyes and for an instant, a split second, she felt something else; something far more malevolent peering at her from deep within the boy himself. It made her feel as if she was talking back to her Father again. Okay, maybe not _just_ like that…But on a level of one to ten, the presence was a five. Her Father was a solid ten; no doubt about that, but compared to most entities in the galaxy; most were in between one and three; so a five was something different and slightly chilling. "What?" She finally asked the boy.

"Who are you?" He demanded. Her right eye twitched, clearly irritated that he had the nerve to ask such a thing of her.

'_Then again, I did teleport into his house…Naked…'_ The embarrassment took from in the shape of a light blush that crept along her face. Shaking it off with a quick shake of her head, causing the blonde to raise an eyebrow in confusion; she regained control of her emotions. Lifting her right hand daintily, she opened her mouth; "I am Nana Astar Deviluke! Second princess of the planet Deviluke!" She declared, slapping her hand over her left breast; over her heart. "As for why I'm here…Well, one of my sister's inventions went wrong and I kind of ended up in your room…"

"Head down, ass up; completely naked?" Naruto added, not believing a word that the girl spoke. The girl flushed brightly under the ceiling light.

"W-W-Well!" She stamped her left foot, clearly angry. "M-My sister's invention h-has a few bu-bugs…She thought that she f-fixed them and gave a copy to my other sister and myself…"

"And what does this 'invention' do?" Naruto demanded, "Teleport you from one place to another, completely naked?!"

"…I-It's not supposed to…No…" Nana stammered. "It's supposed to teleport the user from place to place-clothes on, mind you." The girl suddenly shook her head. "Arg! What's the use?! You don't believe me and won't believe me unless you see for it for yourself!" She took off a small ring that had been on her hand and held it out to the blonde. "In twenty-four hours, it'll be ready to go again…But, uh…The naked thing will happen again…"

Naruto took the ring and looked it over. On the outside, it looked like a normal gold ring. However, as he peered in along the inner rim; all he saw were thousands of tiny blinking lights and what looked like tiny wires. His lips parted but no words formed. Handing the ring back to the pinkette, he took a step backwards and coughed into his left hand. "S-So…You said that you're from a place called…Deviloop?"

"_Deviluke!"_ The girl snapped, correcting the blonde, who shied away from the girl's shout.

"Never heard of it." Naruto proclaimed truthfully.

Folding her arms in front of her startlingly tiny breasts-well, for someone who's hips had already started to widen out-the girl looked off to her right; "Of course not! It's not on this planet, Moron! I already said that!"

"…Y-You did?" Naruto asked, suddenly very fearful. He had spent the time before the girl's spontaneous arrival in his bed room, looking up at the stars and wondering if there were other beings out there…He had wished on a shooting star…And then, in a flash of light; there was an alien in front of him; almost literally.

"I introduced myself as Nana Astar Deviluke, second princess of the Planet Deviluke, didn't I?" Naruto thought about it for a few seconds but eventually nodded. "Then there you go." Nana summed up nicely. "I'm an alien princess."

Naruto stood there, eyes not leaving the pinkette's form as he drank the information in. He wanted to call her a fake…But she did have a single, solitary fang and a long, black tail protruding from her backside-and he already knew that it wasn't an accessory, having seen her in the buff. Suddenly, his legs gave out from underneath of him, startling the girl to the point where she reached her right arm out toward him as if to grab his hand. She didn't, but she had started to.

"…I-I can't believe it…An alien…A real, live alien in my apartment…Standing in my living room, was sitting on my couch…Showered in my bathroom and…yeah…" Deciding to leave out the part where she had peed on his bedroom floor-which turned out to be a good thing, considering that the girl was now glaring harshly at him. He shook his head violently.

"You won't tell anyone about my existence on this planet." Nana commanded. "If you do, I'll kill you and wipe the memory of everyone on this planet!" She took a step toward him and squatted down in front of him, her purple eyes boring into his ocean blue; "And don't think I won't."

"…Y-Y-You can really d-do that?" Naruto asked. Nana stood up and nodded.

"It's not hard. Especially not members of the royal family of Deviluke." She suddenly smiled an evil smile, "Of course, if I followed in my Father's foot prints, which many people say I do; I'd just blow your planet up just because I could." Naruto's eyes widened as far as they could.

"R-Really?"

Nana nodded. "Twelve planets last year…BOOM! Gone in an instant!"

_Thud-Thud-Thud_

"_Keep the noise down up there, you little monster! I'll call the police if you keep me awake any longer!"_ Both pre-teens glanced down at the floor.

"…Stupid asshole…" The blonde quipped quietly before standing up and heading toward his bedroom. "Either way…It's late, I'm tired…And you've just dropped boat load of information on my head…I'm going to sleep." Naruto turned around, trying not to let the fact that there was an alien-and alien _princess_ in his apartment- get the better of him. "You can take the couch if you'd like."

"I'm not staying here!" The girl snapped. Naruto turned to look at her, giving her a dull look. "W-What? You don't honestly expect me to stay here for the night, with a perverted pig like you, do you?"

"…Civilians our age are not allowed outside after eleven at night, Nana…" Naruto stated, letting the girl's name roll off of his tongue. It sounded odd for an alien to have such a simple sounding name. "If you get caught by the police, and you will; trust me," the girl looked indignant but kept her mouth closed, if only just; "you'll be dragged off to jail where they will search you for papers. If you don't have papers, and I know you don't, seeing as you're an alien; they'll strip search you for explosives of any kind and in any orifice." The girl's face paled as the thought of having someone shove their fingers into her body filled her head. "Besides, even if you didn't get caught; you have no idea where I live in conjunction to where you are hiding; do you?" Nana thought about it; shaking her head to free her mind of the thoughts of being stripped and searched by perverted men and women, and shook her head once more as she realized that the boy in front of her was correct. "And, there are a lot of people who come out at night, a lot of bad, disgusting people who'd be more than willing to try and abduct you just to do nasty things to you before selling you off to someone for a quick payday. Trust me…I've had to deal with people like that before." Turning around; Naruto headed back to his room; leaving the pink haired princess alone for the remainder of the night.

-o-

With the light off and her head resting on something that wasn't her own, Nana had a hard time trying to fall asleep. Never mind the fact that she was sleeping in the same abode as a boy who had not only attacked her but also seen her in the buff. His stick had shocked the living day lights out of both of them; though, thinking back on it now, it seemed to have more of an effect on her than it had the boy; and because she had been shocked, she had lost control of herself and peed herself on his bedroom floor. Alas, he had allowed her some of his clothing, though most of them were orange; and had taken care to inform her-by scaring her witless-not to leave the apartment until morning.

'_At least the couch is soft.'_ She told herself as she rolled over and faced the back of said piece of furniture. _'Could stand to offer me a pillow or a sheet at least.'_

Then again, she had been at the ramen stand when the waitress informed the group of kids and their guardian that the blonde was an orphan-a snobby, perverted pig of an orphan, but still and orphan. And maybe, just maybe; because he was an orphan, he didn't own more than one pillow and two changes of sheets. It was possible. _'Damn pre-space travel planets!'_ She swore silently. Had she'd been stranded on a planet with at least rocket fuel based space travel; then she would have been able to pin point her location and send an S.O.S signal to her sister-and if that failed, her Father. Unfortunately, the planet she had crash landed on had no such thing. She was stuck…Stuck until she accumulated enough parts of different devices that she had seen while walking around on her own for the past four days; to make some make shift parts to repair her ship enough to send a signal. Her tracking device wouldn't last forever and there was no way to recharge it. _'Wait a minute!'_ Nana turned over and sat up on the couch, eyes wide open. She turned her head toward the boy's room and though about the stick that had shocked the both of them. _'That stick emits electric energy! If I can get him to tell me where he got it or how he made it; I can continue recharging my tracking signal in the very least!'_ But that would mean befriending the boy…

Lying back down on her back, Nana frowned slightly as she began to think about how she could befriend the boy; to learn the secrets behind the stick and finally-hopefully-get off this blasted planet she was stranded on.

-o-

Having woken up to the sound of his alarm clock, to which he gave it a customary morning smack with a closed fist; shutting it up before it could be shriek at him any louder than it already had been; Naruto turned the door knob and opened his door. Turning a left down the corridor into his bathroom, he shut the door and began his morning wake up ritual.

After using what he needed to and washing his hands and face, drying both off with a towel; the blonde existed the bathroom and turned left again out of the end of the corridor. Not quite fully awake, but awake enough; the blonde took in the sleeping visage of his pink haired visitor from the night before on his couch. Walking quietly over to the pinkette princess, Naruto peered down at her for several seconds. _'Funny…When she's asleep, not only does she look like regular person; but she's also a lot nicer too.'_ Deciding not to make a mental comment to himself about the fact that his dress shirt had come unbuttoned during the middle of the night, he ventured off toward the kitchen in aim of nabbing himself some food.

Opening his refrigerator, Naruto ventured a look into the machine. Inside the mechanical monster's loins were a gallon of milk, a carton of eggs, a half eaten portion of sushi that probably needed to be thrown out-to which he plucked from the shelf and set it on the counter before turning back to the refrigerator-and a box of baking soda in the back left hand corner; open so that it could continue making the machine smell a bit better than it could have smelled. Shutting the door to the fridge, Naruto ventured left to a cupboard at the end of the small shelving unit that sat above his kitchen sink and opened it. A half empty box of Shinobi-O's sat staring at him, the yellow furred cat that held up what could probably have passed for a thumb, looking back at him. Sighing, Naruto shut the cupboard door and opened the one next to it, revealing only one bowl and one plate. Looking down beside the sink, he found three dirty plates and two dirty bowls.

Sighing, he grabbed the metal stopper and dropped it in the drain and turned on the tap. Letting the water warm up, Naruto played with the stream with the tips of his fingers, and when it finally had warmed up enough; he grabbed the metal stopper and twisted it until the water in the sink started to pool, rather than swirl around and drain. Grabbing a bottle of dishwashing liquid, Naruto up ended the bottle and gave it a squeeze. A line of green liquid shot out into the sink and bubbles immediately started forming. Setting the bottle aside, Naruto took the plates and the bowls and dropped them carefully into the sink; their porcelain bottoms and sides clanking against the sides of the sink slightly as the water rushed over and around them. Turning off the water as it filled the sink half way, he grabbed a cloth and started to scrub the bowls clean.

-o-

To the sound of china hitting metal and bouncing off of china and to the smell of an odd soapy odor did Nana awake. The world around her, unusual and strange; even stranger still from the bleary state of her vision only became clearer after she brought her hands up to her eyes and began to rub them. The sound of knocking at the door to the small apartment caught her attention. The sound of clanking ceased and the sound of footsteps filled her ears; at least, until the sound of the front door being unlocked and then opened filled the rooms. Turning her head, Nana found that the blonde boy whom had ogled her naked body the night before; had opened the door. Outside, was a very irate looking man; big muscles and tall. His hands looked like they could encompass small trees around the very base of their trunks. His eyes were narrowed, giving the impression that he was very cross.

"Listen here you little Brat!" The man started, taking a step into the blonde's apartment in a threatening manner. "I don't care what you're doing up here, but when it cuts into my sleep schedule; that's where I draw the line!" He gestured to his eyes and made a point of showing the blonde the bags under his eyes. "Look at my beautiful eyes! Ruined because of you and whatever you were doing last night!" He planted his large hand onto the blonde's chest and pushed, shoving the blonde into the single chair at his kitchen table; knocking both of them down to the floor. "If I so much as lose one client today because of this; I'll see to it that you will be evicted by the morrow's eve! Understand?" The blonde nodded. "Good."

Looking up from the blonde, the man saw Nana, standing up near the couch and narrowed his eyes at her. "How the fuck did a little beast like you ever save up enough money to entice a hooker to come back to your place, I'll never know." Nana's eyes widened momentarily before narrowing in rage; "But there's something you ought to know about hookers and sluts, boy! If you want them gone-_don't give them your clothes to wear as their own!"_ The large man spat on the boy's floor before turning around and made for the door. He stopped and turned back to look at Nana; "And by the way; you may want to think about breast augmentation, _Honey;_ or else you may not make ends meet in the future!" He left with a cruel smile; slamming the door behind him as he went.

"W-W-Who the hell was that?!" Nana shrieked as Naruto grabbed for a paper towel to wipe up the man's spit off of his kitchen floor. When the blonde didn't answer, Nana stamped her right foot on the floor and marched over to him. "Well?!"

Sighing, Naruto turned around, not wanting to face her as he spoke; "That's Isamu…He lives in the apartment below mine. He's a male prostitute with a thing for young men and women. He also sidelines as a bouncer at the gay bars downtown. Brings home a lot of people on the weekends." Nana's face reddened. "What no one else knows, or wants to believe; considering that for a prostitute, he's such a nice guy; is that he also marks orphans for slave sales. I'd turn him in myself; but he's always got an alibi."

"…So, he's the reason why you didn't want me to leave last night, then?" Nana asked, her anger subsiding slightly. The blonde gave her a half nod.

"Only partially…" The blonde stated, standing up to throw the soiled towel away. "…There are a few more out there, there are also a few ninja and even a couple of kunoichi who aren't above kidnap and rape…And even if you're an alien, I doubt you'd be able to handle a Chuunin level ninja or kunoichi…Especially when they like to use lightning based jutsu to disable their victims." Nana gulped. "Anyway…I thought I'd show you back to wherever your ship is…As well as eat breakfast out…It seems that all I have is eggs and half a box full of cereal…And that's probably stale too, seeing as I haven't had breakfast in over a week or so…"

"That's fine." Nana accepted the deal. "I need new clothes anyway, seeing as Onee-Chan's invention vaporized them." She really hoped that Pyon-Pyon Warp-Kun hadn't vaporized her pistols and her memory eraser. Especially her memory eraser.

"Cool." The blonde nodded. "Let me finish the dishes and get changed and I'll be ready to go. But, uh…Y-You may want to go uh…re-readjust your shirt for the time being…Nana…" Nana furrowed her brows but looked down at her shirt. Blood rushed to her face as she found her naked chest exposed to the world, the blonde in front of her-though he was facing the opposite direction thankfully-and the man-whore down stairs. "I-I would have gotten you something before you woke up…B-But Isamu kind of interrupted me and woke you up…"

"…Isamu didn't wake me up." Nana replied, turning around to button up the shirt. "The sound of dishes being washed and the smell of dish soap woke me up." Nana admitted. "Hey! Wait a minute! You knew that the shirt was open?!"

"…I…I came to check on you before I started doing dishes, t-t-the shirt was undone and I didn't want to try and button it up while you were sleeping only for you to wake up and poke me in the eyes or something!" Naruto spat out, waving his arms in front of his face; still looking the other direction. "I also wanted more time to look for another shirt for you, considering that one doesn't really fit you all that well!"

Still angry at the blonde, Nana decided not to hit him. He hadn't touched her-she would have known having spent most of her life with Momo's wandering hands and tail had gifted her with very sensitive nerves-and so far, save for the staring at her naked body; nearly ruining her for marriage in the process, and his stick shocking her as it had; he hadn't so much as touched her. She noticed that his eyes had wandered slightly, but hadn't moved to touch her.

…Yet.

-o-

Sitting on the couch, keeping her arms crossed over her breasts, just in case the buttons popped out again as they had during the middle of the night, though Naruto had insisted that they weren't going to come unbuttoned without added pressure; a slight that she let go for now; Nana waited for the blonde to get done getting changed.

The sound of the door handle that was connected to his door jiggled slightly before turning. Pushing forth the door, out the blonde stepped into the living room; wearing orange dress pants, an orange button up shirt-like she was currently-and a pair of orange shoes. Around his waist lay a black belt; and oddly enough, atop his spiky crown; an orange bowler cap. _'All he needs is the jacket and cane and he'll look mildly non-offensive…Well, if it wasn't all orange he would.'_ Nana mused. In the blonde's right hand, was an orange t-shirt. Walking over to her location he handed her the shirt. She was hesitant about taking it.

"Orange?" She asked, mildly irate. "Don't you have anything that's _not_ orange?"

"Only underwear, undershirts; which won't hide much of anyone's chest;" Nana's right eye twitched at the dig but she managed to keep her cool. "And the pair of shorts you're wearing. All of my clothes, save for when I was eight; are orange." He unfurled the shirt in front of her and showed her the back; where a large red swirl sat in the middle. "And besides, it's not totally all orange." He tossed the shirt at her and then walked back to his room. "Now get dressed…I'm starving."

-o-

As the duo walked down the somewhat crowded streets of the village, Nana kept noticing people pointing in their direction as they walked. Flickering her eyes from one side of the street to the other, she could see that some of the them seemed scandalized by their appearances while others looked outright hostile. "What's with them?" Nana asked her blonde companion, who walked a few steps ahead of herself.

"Who? The villagers?" He asked, turning his head to look at the pinkette. Nana nodded; "…Meh…Who knows. I don't." He admitted. "All my life people have been talking about me behind my back. For a while, I would hate them for it; the names they called me, the way they looked at me and telling their kids that I was some sort of demon who they shouldn't be associated with." He paused and looked at a pair of adults, a man and a woman Nana thought could have been the man's wife; standing in front of a doorway; glaring heatedly at the blonde, who grinned dangerously back at them. "Some of them I got back at. Like those two…I tried to stab their kid after he and his friends shoved me down a flight of stairs because I had managed to get a hold of a piece of candy that he wanted. It apparently belonged to him, even though I was the one who bought it. I later cornered him in an alley where he and his friends were trying to smoke a few cigarettes that they lifted from a homeless man and tried to stab him in revenge. Almost got him too…If the Hokage hadn't come along and stopped me, that kid would be dead and I'd be locked up for the rest of my life."

"…You'd want to be locked away for the rest of your life?" Nana asked, puzzled by the blonde's words. The blonde shook his head as he continued to grin at the couple; who, Nana noticed as she looked back at them; were slowly backing away into the building behind them.

"Not now." Naruto admitted. "But I was four and no one had taken the time to teach me a lot of things. I lived like the hobos did. If someone came around and tried to steal your food or your box, you beat the crap out of them. I got pushed down a flight of stairs and had my candy stolen from me, candy that I had bought with my own money given to me by myself after pilfering it from a merchant who had walked out of what used to be a whore shack at the north end of the village. I stalked him and then I tried to kill him. You are what your environment produces sometimes."

"Anyway, most of the people here dislike me. I know I played part of why they dislike me, considering I started to prank a lot of them after I joined the Academy and got a place to live and started getting money from the program that the Hokage had set me up on. But even still, they've been like that since I was born basically." He looked away from the couple and looked ahead of himself, Nana mirroring his action. "They're treating you like they treat me because you're with me…That…And you're kind of, sort of; wearing my family's crest." He gestured to the swirl pattern on the shirt he had leant her. Nana's face turned beet red at the implication. "They probably think that you're either a sibling of mine that I've kept hidden away for all these years or that you're my girlfriend…Or, as Isamu pointed out earlier, some sort of whore who slept with me."

Nana's face darkened and she suddenly felt like summoning something to do her bidding. A Zergling wouldn't be enough…No…Maybe a dragon…Or maybe a giant wurm? She restrained her urge to summon either beast. Barely.

-o-

"Hokage-Sama." Sarutobi Hiruzen looked up from the scroll he had been staring at for over an hour, its contents written in black ink; new laws for the village, and turned his head just enough so that he could see who it was who was addressing him. There, wearing a usual Chuunin outfit; stood Toji Mizuki. Narrowing his eyes slightly at the younger man; he nodded for the Chuunin to continue. "I was given a complaint scroll earlier this morning." He held it out an arm's length away from his body toward the elderly man to take if he so chose.

"Is it from the Shinobi Council?" The man asked. Mizuki shook his head. "From the Civilian Council then?" Again, the Chuunin shook his head negatively. "From the Daimyo?" Once more, the younger man shook his head. "Then why are you giving it to me?" The Chuunin took half a step back as the elderly man's tone turned irate.

"I…W-Well…I-It's about Uzumaki Naruto, Sir! I was jus-" Mizuki blinked fearfully as the weight of the small scroll left his hand before he finished his sentence.

"Consider your task complete, Toji-San. Please return to your normal duties at the Academy." Hiruzen ordered. The young Chuunin nodded, bowed and then left the elderly man alone. As soon as he was sure that the Chuunin was gone, Hiruzen fingered the edges of the scroll; making sure that it wasn't booby-trapped. With no signs of ill fate, he pulled the edge of the scroll and unfurled it.

_Upon your command, Hokage-Sama; all complaints against Uzumaki Naruto are to find their way to you. Umino Iruka._ Was the head note. Below, was the complaint, the individual who was filing the complaint's name and address and the date and time as well as the name or names or the person or persons within the complaint.

_Complaint Filer(s): Morioka Isamu  
Address: 112__th__ Broad Leaf St., Apt. 29  
Date: July 19__th__, 12 A.K.  
Complaint Against: Uzumaki Naruto_

_Complaint: Loud noises coming from the apartment above, including shouting and gratuitous amounts of thumping about. The noises lasted for hours and the thumping lasted even longer. At times there were loud clicking and trilling noises-like a large insect hissing at prey or an enemy. Kept the Complaint Filer awake for most of the night._

_Added Complaint: "I addressed the boy about the past nights deeds in the morning only to find him in the kitchen with a girl with pink hair and a small bust. Both were naked and the girl looked like she had a tail poking out of her rear. I'm not sure whether or not it was a toy or not, but the boy didn't give me the time of day to explain myself before he grabbed a knife and shoved it in my direction. He told me to scram, so I did. I don't feel safe living under the boy. I am writing this complaint as a formal cry for both help and to have him and his cheap whores removed from the building."_

Hiruzen re-read the complaint before sighing deeply and dropping his brush in the well of ink he had brought with him. Pushing himself to his feet, the elderly man scowled as he stretched slightly; his back popping from the action, and then moved toward the exit; leaving his work half completed.

-o-

Naruto stretched his arms up over his head as he and Nana walked away from the dango stand in search of one of the few clothing stores that would allow him entry. "Dango in the morning…I bet a lot of things could beat that, actually…"

"What?" Nana asked, flickering her purple eyes over at him; wondering what he was talking about.

"I was going to make a joke about how nothing in the world could beat dango for breakfast, but then I realized that such a thing would be really stupid; considering a plan old bowl of cereal tastes better than dango in the morning." The blonde replied. "Anyway, I don't have a lot of money on hand; so wherever we go to get you clothes, you've got to pick out something cheap."

"Was already planning on it." Nana stated with a nod. "I have other clothes on my ship…However, since my ship is broken and I'll need to start looking for parts to repair it, I'll probably need to go out and about. I can't very well go looking for parts to an alien ship wearing my normal clothes." She paused and looked down at herself and took in the orange and black that she wore, "And, no offense; but orange is not my color."

"…Odd…" Naruto commented, taking another look at the pinkette beside him as they ventured around a corner; "I would have thought that you would have said something about not wanting to wear boy clothes or something similar."

Nana flushed, "I-I don't have any problem wearing boy clothes…I just prefer my dresses over them…" She finished weakly.

"So, you like wearing boy underwear over girls?" A slap that rang out over the morning crowd was his reply.

-o-

Dressed as a simple elderly man hobbling through the streets of the village his sensei before him had created, guided and protected; Sarutobi Hiruzen watched as the blonde haired troublemaker-turned-entrepreneur and peddler of low powered seals and wards guide the slightly smaller pink haired girl through the village. He couldn't hear the conversation that the young couple were having, but from the way that the girl had just slapped the boy seconds after he started trailing them; it was most likely something perverted. He frowned slightly. _'She's wearing one of his clan shirts as well…Has he known her long?'_ If the boy in question was anyone else; anyone else at all, he would have just written it off as young love. However; he knew that Naruto wasn't stupid enough to believe in such a concept.

While the blonde was undereducated when it came to certain fields, he was still sharper than the average tack; he had to be if he wanted to make it as a merchant. He didn't believe in things like 'Young Love' or 'Love at First Sight'.

Seeing the duo veer off toward the left, taking a smaller street than the one they had currently been walking down; the disguised Hokage frowned. A part of him wanted to hurry up after the pair, but he knew the blonde too well. He had been expelled from the academy because of the Daimyo's wife's cat had been stupid enough to wander out onto a training field behind the academy building, not because he was a pathetic excuse for a ninja. No. Naruto was sneaky; so sneaky in fact, that if he had it his way; he would have offered him a second chance at becoming a ninja…If he still wanted it.

No, for now; he had to continue to act that part of an elderly man out for a stroll in the morning air…A stroll that just so happened to follow the same path as a young couple.

-o-

For a princess, Nana had some pretty laid back ideas of how her clothing should be. He had been expecting that though he had told her to stick to a small budget when picking out her clothes that she would have gone overboard, like most of the stories he heard while standing by his stand waiting for a sale; the kind where the boyfriend would tell the girlfriend to get something cheap but then they'd turn around and get something expensive. Instead, she picked out her clothing based on necessity over how they looked and how they felt. He had told her to stick to a small budget, and that was what she did.

As the clerk packed the rest of the girl's items in the second and final bag, Naruto blushed heavily as he saw the clerk packing the girl's red undergarments within the bag. He flushed even brighter when he realized that he had turned his head at the exact moment that a full grown woman with long, curly black, curly hair was plucking out bras from one of the racks. She stopped mid pluck and turned her red eyes toward him. They narrowed slightly and a sense of dread quickly filled his body. He immediately turned back to the countertop and stared at one spot. _'Why is it that every time I come here, there has to be a girl either picking up a white bra or a pair of black panties?!'_

"…Are you going to stand there looking like a constipated nimrod, or are you coming?" Nana's insult ripped him from his thoughts. Looking over to the girl, who had moved toward the door by now; he could tell that the pinkette was smirking at him; obviously taking great pleasure in slighting him.

"Yeah, yeah…" The orange wearing pre-teen grumped as he walked toward the door. "Hold your damn horses."

"I don't have horses…" Nana replied as she pushed on the door to the shop, opening it to the outside world. "…I prefer Zerglings."

"…You aren't like normal girls, are you?"

"As I said before, when you're the second daughter to a man who kills people just because he get's pissed off, you tend to not be like other girls. Now, Momo; my twin, she's a girlie-girl."

"…She doesn't like Zerglings or whatever the hell that thing was?" Nana shrugged her shoulders.

"She can't summon them, but she still likes to try and gussy them up." An image of a large, half insect half lizard creature wearing ether a tiny black bow or a large red bow somewhere on its body flashed through his mind, sending several shivers racing up and down his spine. "No…She can't summon animals like I can, sadly enough…" Nana sighed wistfully. "All she can do is summon perverted plants that try to molest me as soon as she summons them."

"…There are plants that molest people?"

"On some planets, yeah." Nana confirmed. "Anyway, I think it is time we get back to my sh-I mean, my place. This way!" The pinkette said, pointing to her left.

"I thought you said that you needed me to show you the way?" Naruto asked the girl.

"That was before you brought me here. I've been to this part of the village before." Nana explained. "Besides, I thought that you wanted to see my 'house'?"

"I-I do!" Naruto stammered as he trotted up beside her. "B-But I thought the whole reason why you were even going to show me was because you didn't know where it was in conjunction to my apartment? I had actually thought that you were going to erase my memory or something after we got to your 'house'."

Nana turned her head and gave the blonde a look, "At first, I was." She admitted. "But not because you found out that I'm an E.T." Blood rushed to her face, lighting her cheeks up in a rosy color before she continued, "I-I was going to erase your memory b-because y-y-you saw me n-naked!"

"…Oh…" Naruto grunted. Thoughts of their less than stellar second meeting quickly flooded his head, his face turning bright red as a consequence.

"H-Hey! You better not be thinking about my!" Nana stopped herself from shouting. Shifting her gaze slightly, she could see several people staring at them. Some of them were giving them hard looks, whispering to each other; while others stood there, watching them with looks of confusion. "…Anyway!" She broke off of her thought and cleared her throat, "J-Just don't think about it!" Shaking his head violently in last ditch effort to try to shake the memories of last night out of his head, Naruto silently agreed. "U…Um Naruto…" Nana began softly, catching the boy's attention immediately. "I think that someone's following us…"

Turning his head to look behind them, eyeing the ground more than anything else; he could see that they were indeed being followed. An old man, with long gray hair; was hobbling down the same road, as he had for the last several streets. Turning his head back to look at Nana, he smiled; "I didn't see a snake, Nana."

"_What the hell are you talking about?!"_ The pinkette hissed softly.

"_I'm playing along."_ Naruto stated. _"This is a ninja village; some of the people here have really good hearing. If I just looked back at the guy following us and then back to you and said that he was following us; he may up and either disappear or attack us!"_

Nana's eyes widened in realization. "Sorry…"

"Don't worry about it." Naruto played it off. "It's always good to look out for snakes. Some of them are poisonous after all."

The duo walked in relative silence for the remainder of their journey to Nana's ship, all the while taking time to stop here and there in an effort to try and throw off their stalker. Unfortunately, their stalker hadn't been dissuaded by their frequent stops.

"I live around here, Naruto…" Nana stated softly. "But I don't want to show you until that guy is gone…" Naruto nodded, understanding the alien's problem with just walking up to her ship with the stalker watching them.

"…You want to go to the park or something?" Naruto asked, nodding in the direction of the nearest park. Looking down the road, Nana thought about it for a few seconds before nodding. "Alright, let's go."

As the two pre-teens made their way down toward the park, their stalker followed them once more.

-o-

Nana sat down on one of the swings, placing her bags down at her sides and sighed deeply. "My feet are killing me…" She moaned as she hung her head down. Hearing her traveling companion shuffle his feet through the pebbles and rocks that made up the tiny playground's 'flooring' finally come to an end to her right, she picked her head up and gave him a look. "How are your feet not killing you?" She asked as she watched him kick his legs out, forcing himself up into the air slightly as he sat on the swing.

"I stand on my feet for hours on end almost every day, Nana…" Naruto began as he retracted his legs and pumped them forward again, giving himself more lift and speed. "And, I used to go to the ninja academy. One of the things that we had to do was run around the village, up and down the streets for three hours a day, three days a week."

Nana felt her face slack slightly as she thought of the hours of running around the village. "I could never do that…" She groaned before tilting her head back and staring up at the blue and white filled sky above them. "My older sister, Lala could…But not me."

"…That's right…You said you had an older sister…The one who made that stupid machine that…Well, you know…" Naruto trailed off, not wanting to bring up too many memories of the night before. "Is she some sort of pervert or something?"

Shifting her head, Nana glared at the blonde next to her; "Onee-Chan is _not_ a pervert, Baka!" She snapped. "Onee-Chan has a habit of not wearing clothes when she should…but that's because she forgets to wear them."

"How could anyone forget to wear their clothes?" Naruto asked the pinkette on his left.

"…Honestly, I don't know." Nana's shoulders slumped with her admission. Suddenly, she picked up her head and glared at the blonde once more; "But she's not a pervert! Not knowingly at least." The duo sat in silence, with only the chains from Naruto's swing making any noise between them. Several moments of silence later, Nana opened her mouth once more; "What about you?"

"What about me?" Naruto asked.

"I know you said that you're an orphan, so you don't have a Mother or a Father…" The blonde's face tightened slightly. "But what about Aunts or Uncles?"

Sighing, Naruto stopped pumping his legs and stared down at the ground; "As far as I know, I don't have any."

"Oh…" Nana murmured, feeling slightly embarrassed for asking such a thing. "Sorry…"

"Don't be." Naruto waved it off, his gaze still on the ground below; "I'm relatively used to it by now."

-o-

Hiruzen narrowed his eyes slightly as he took in the sun's position in the sky. It was almost noon and for the past thirty or so minutes, the young couple had stayed in the same place. Inwardly he smiled at the tactic that they were attempting to pull off. By staying put, it was forcing him to stay put as well to keep an eye on them; and by doing so, forcing him out in the open. _'I haven't seen the girl before, so she's not an academy student.'_ He told himself as he watched Naruto and his female friend swing back and forth slowly. It appeared as if they were talking about something emotionally taxing from the way that Naruto had hung his head and the girl looking off in the other direction in an apologetic manner. _'They don't act like a couple in love. In fact, they act as if they just met the other day.'_ Still, Naruto paying for their breakfast and the girl's new clothes were a bit odd for someone to do for someone they had only just met. Of course, if he had done something to ruin the clothes she had worn previously-which would explain why the pinkette was wearing some of his clothes-then it was understandable.

"Hokage-Sama…" The elderly man turned his head to his left and found a disguised man standing next to him. "I'm sorry to interrupt you, but I'm afraid your Grandson has accidentally ruined several of your scrolls."

"…Damn it, Konohamaru…" Hiruzen brought a hand to the bridge of his nose and pinched it. "What the hell was he doing in my office?"

"Well, from what I can tell; he was playing hide-and-seek with two friends of his; Sir."

Eyes widening, Hiruzen stared at the man intently; "Konohamaru has friends?" The other man nodded. "This is a new development…When did he make them?"

"I think yesterday after getting out of the academy, Sir."

"…" Hiruzen turned to eye the young duo across the street. Nodding to himself, he turned back and started shuffling toward his office. "Where is Konohamaru now?"

"Hiding in his room; Hokage-Sama."

"Typical…"

-o-

With their conversation having died after Nana brought up Naruto's family, or lack thereof; the two pre-teens sat on their swings and allowed for the breeze to push them back and forth. It wasn't until Naruto's stomach growled, informing him that he was slightly hungry; did the pre-teens look away from the ground and the trees. Naruto turned his gaze to his stomach and Nana turned her gaze to him. Flushing slightly, the blonde cleared his throat and pushed himself up from the swing underneath of himself and stood on the loose ground. "I think I may be a bit hungry…"

Snickering at his statement, Nana planted her feet on the loose ground below and stood up from the swing. Bending down slightly to pick up her bags, she opened her mouth; "Well, it has been a few hours since lunch…No thanks to that stalker…" Speaking of the stalker, she flickered her purple eyes to the area where the elderly man had been earlier; just inside a small tea shop. "Hey," she nearly whispered, gaining Naruto's attention. "He's gone…"

Looking up to where the man had been while they talked, the blonde found that his extraterrestrial companion was correct. "I wonder why he left?" Was he just another person in the underground organization that hunted and harvested young children too? Had he been marking them for an attempt at kidnapping? His hunger ebbed away very quickly as that thought surfaced in his mind. "Do you have food in your ship, Nana?" He asked, turning to look at the pinkette.

Narrowing her eyes in a confused manner, Nana nodded; "Yeah…Why?"

"Do you have enough for two?" The tone in the boy's voice sounded much like Zastin had sounded like when several of her Onee-Chan's husband-to-be hopefuls had arrived on their home planet several years ago. Most of the princes were nice to both Momo and herself; some of them were very cold and a few of them were almost as spacey as Lala herself. But it was never the princes that Zastin had shied Momo and herself away from; it was their guards and entourage. Wondering if the boy was hinting at a potential kidnapping attempt, she nodded; "I do…I don't know if you'll like it or not, seeing as how most of it isn't from this planet...But I do have enough."

"Right now, Nana; I'd be happy to eat a rotten potato if it meant getting the hell out of here and getting to someplace safe." The blonde was tense, the air around him was tense. Nodding, Nana grabbed her bags by the handles and gently elbowed Naruto as she walked by him. "This way."

-o-

"I've come to check up on my complaint." Isamu stated as he stood in front of Umino Iruka at the complaints office. Leaning over the desk that the smaller Chuunin sat behind; his large hands pressed against the wooden surface, Isamu frowned cutely at the Chuunin as he awaited the news.

Right eye twitching slightly, Iruka ignored the man's attempt at flirting with him and folded his hands in front of his chest, resting them on the same wooden surface as Isamu's larger hands did. "Your complaint was submitted earlier this morning, Isamu-San." The smaller man informed the male prostitute, who smiled slightly. "However, because of the nature of the complaint; it had to be handed to the Hokage himself for processing." Isamu's smile faded. "Unfortunately, due to an accident; the Hokage was called away from overlooking the complaint earlier this afternoon. I'm not sure when he will have time to finish over viewing it."

"What could be more important than living under a monster and his whore?" The larger man growled.

Standing his ground, even from his sitting position; Iruka looked up at the larger man, staring him in the eyes; "When it comes to important scrolls that may or may not house dangerous jutsu or highly coveted information involving either an enemy village, and allied village or even our own; I'd say that finding out what caused the damage and seeing if it can be reversed is a much more important than trying to evict a young boy and whomever is currently staying with him."

"B-But! The boy's a monster! You said so yourself!"

"I said no such thing, Isamu-San; that would be a clear violation of the law-the law that I am, by order of both the Hokage as well as my position, entrusted and expected to uphold." The male prostitute straightened up and gave the small Chuunin a harsh glare.

"Even though you lost your parents to that little beast, you still protect him!"

"Protect?" Iruka asked, "No. Uphold the law; yes." Iruka pushed the chair he had been sitting in back slightly and stood to his full height, the top of his head reaching just under Isamu's chin; and stared up at the man. "You're lucky that you're dealing with me and not someone like Asuma or worse, Ibiki." The prostitute's face paled as the thought of dealing with the son of the current Hokage or the notorious torturer tickled his brain. With that said; Iruka turned around and walked away from the larger man.

-o-

Sighing deeply, Hiruzen looked at the scrolls his grandson had ruined while playing with his two new friends. On one hand, he was extremely pleased and happy that the boy had been able to find two friends, let alone one. The boy, much like his own son and daughter; been treated as if they were royalty and despite wanting nothing more than to be treated like a child and have the ability to make friends; because of his position, it was extremely difficult for him. However, much like the boy's Mother and his uncle, he had managed to find his own way and gain a couple of friends. _'That said; it doesn't excuse him for ruining these scrolls.'_

In total, three scrolls had been completely soaked in ink; two of which held simple laws that he wasn't sure would be passed; and the other was a scroll containing a new plan for academy students; penned up by Danzo himself. He hadn't had a chance to read that one yet. _'Danzo isn't going to be pleased when he comes to hear my answer.'_

Off in a smaller pile, four more scrolls lay together, separated from the others. All four of them were damaged, slightly ripped and all of them seemed to have small splotches of stray ink dotting one side of them. The troubling thing about those four scrolls, was the fact that two of them contained information about Sunagakure, one contained information on the small country of Nami; and the last one contained a new jutsu waiting to earn his approval before being placed in the academy rotation.

Punishments would be handed out accordingly. His grandson, who had ruined the scrolls while playing with his friends; would be grounded. To the fools who haphazardly tossed the scrolls onto his desk, something a bit more serious.

-o-

To the west of the village, several yards into the forest; was where Nana stopped. She dropped her bags gently to the ground and then turned around to look at her traveling companion with a small smile. "Here it is!" She exclaimed, pointing at the tree line.

"Uh…Here what is?" Naruto asked, unsure of what to look for. Was Nana's ship a tree?

"My ship, you idiot!" The pinkette snapped. "What'd you think I was showing you? The trees?"

"Well, to be honest; kind of." The blonde replied. "I mean, how would I know if your ship is actually a tree or not?" It would have blended in really well if it was, though.

"…You calling me Juraian?" The girl asked flatly.

"Jura-whatsa?" _'What the hell is a Jura-whatsit?'_ Obviously the comment about her ship being a tree irked her something fierce.

"Juraians…Filthy stinking tree hugging, incestuous beings who thrive on galactic takeover; using peace as a shield to hide their deeds!" The pinkette prattled on.

"But didn't you say that Devilukians blew planets up?" Nana turned her head and ignored the question. Dropping the subject for now, Naruto moved forward. "I still don't see your ship, though."

"That's because it's cloaked." Nana replied with a soft snort. "As if I'm stupid enough to leave a ship uncloaked on a non-space travel civilization." She spoke to herself. "Either way, it's right here." Slapping her left hand out, Naruto's eyes widened in amazement as the girl's hand slapped against something hard; something that gave off a metallic echo from the impact. Suddenly, with a loud hiss; followed by a dull sound that sounding along the lines of a sandal hitting wood; the portion of the tree line that he had been staring at became broken as the image of a bright white interior surrounded with pink and red lines and dozens of blinking lights filled the relatively small area. "Cool, isn't it?" The temperamental pinkette asked. Naruto stood, staring in complete silence for a few more seconds before agreeing with the alien with a nod. She began to climb in. "Hurry up! I don't want to have to deal with anymore unintelligent people like you finding my ship!" She didn't give the blonde a chance to move before she grabbed the front of his shirt with her right hand and pulled him into the ship, hitting a button with her left hand as soon as he cleared the entrance to the ship, shutting the cockpit. As Naruto shook his head, still trying to wrap the situation into a understandable mess in his head, a Nana hit another button on the control panel, and with a low groan and a flicker of the lights; an image appeared on one of the screens on the control panel, a circle surrounded a smaller image of the ship.

"Shields up." The pinkette stated quietly. She quickly turned to face the blonde haired boy, "Now…let's continue our conversation from earlier, shall we?"

End

* * *

Oh geez…Save for the last half of the last paragraph and a few changes here and there; I had this lug of a chapter on my old laptop for nearly three years. Maybe even longer. I don't remember. What I do remember is that this story was originally supposed to be a Naruto/Nana/Momo story(since Momo seems to 'love' everyone, regardless whether or not they're family or not…well, at least people/beings near her own age). Either way, Nana pulls a Lala and escapes her family's ship, but rather than being chased by her father's forces onto the planet's surface, her ship gets bumped by a not-so-friendly space rock and sends her ship toward the planet. By the way, did you all know that there is a planet that is named Naruto? Yeah…It's got some numbers behind it…or before it, but it's still named Naruto. That was another thing that brought me to this idea originally. Also, from the title; hopefully you guys and gals realize that this was supposed to be a multi-crossover story, though the basis of it was going to be Naruto and To-Love-Ru; as Nana and Naruto fly from one planet to another…And possibly back to Naruto's home every once in a while.

I gave Nana the ability to summon Zerglings, because I felt like it. They are, after all; fleshy-beasts and since Nana has the ability to talk to them…Why not have her steal one or two as a pair of guards?

The path I gave Naruto in this story, was a off shoot of similar path that I was giving Naruto in a story that I've been slowly plugging away at for the last several years; in which, rather than being all powerful in the Jutsu/Clone area, why not give him the ability to graft seals-most of which are his own creations-on to things like armor and weapons? Why not give him the ability to use what would essentially be water soluble ink that lasts for a while, but is not permanent; for his seals, that way he can create a 'market' of sorts. Also, he's no longer in the Academy.

As you can see, Naruto and the Ichiraku family are not on decent terms. I decided this path mainly because of the simple fact that I've only read one story where one of the two, Teuchi or Ayame are planning something against Naruto or have actively attacked him in hopes of killing him. However, since Naruto was removed from the Academy, lost his stipend and essentially forced to look for work, Naruto's question forcibly pushed Teuchi into a hard position. Hire someone who is hated or in the very least, shunned by the majority of the local population to be nice and kind; or regrettably declining to save his daughter, as well as himself; from a life of poverty…Well, even more so than before. I also made Naruto vindictive, and it's mainly due to his life experiences that have led him to said place in life. It's not just his fault, others had a hand in it, but it is something that happened.

Also, since in the later renditions of Naruto's history; or from what I've gleaned from the Wiki; Naruto's original sensei at the academy, while not hostile; didn't go too far out of their way to do anything for Naruto. Also, Iruka had only been his teacher for a short while, if at all; when he got removed from the academy, so he never had a chance-or a reason-to bond with Naruto.

As for the Daimyo, the Hokage serves the Daimyo, and any action that is moved against the Daimyo can be brought up on grounds of treason, which is why Hiruzen allowed Naruto to be expelled. I'm not so moved by the Naruto series to believe that the Daimyo doesn't have some sort of CIA or Secret Service type agency at his beck and call outside of Konohagakure. If he didn't, then why wouldn't the Hokage simply overthrow the government and seize total control?

Outside of these ending notes, this story-which was supposed to be a single chapter(and was supposed to be even longer that it currently is); has a total of: 19,847 words. There will be errors of both the grammar variety as well as spelling variety and maybe even a conflicting plot device or two. Remember, I wrote this a long time ago and I don't remember everything about how it was supposed to go form where I left off.


End file.
